"86%~98% of the vocabulary used by children every day is the same as that of their parents, and every word of their parents gradually becomes what their children will look like in the future. ”
We always think that the difference between children is the school district and the training class, but in fact, parents ignore their most valuable asset, which is the language of their parents.
Therefore, you should communicate with your children more from an early age, rather than handing them over to the TV or subconsciously thinking that they don't understand.
Children who "win at the starting line" are not from wealthy families or how many extracurricular classes they have enrolled, but because they are born with a rich language and a positive environment.
Therefore, parents should use more positive language for their children, rather than just focusing on their children's shortcomings.
Children are the mirror of their parents, their parents speak softly, and their children will be as warm as jade, and when their parents scream and roar, they will be irritable and irritable, and language is powerful.
The early language environment of a child, that is, the language environment of the parents, is largely a reflection of the innate potential.
Dad loves mom, this is the premise of family harmony
The relationship between husband and wife is greater than the parent-child relationship, and the parent-child relationship can be better if the husband and wife are affectionate.
For children, being born in a happy family is not the same as being born in an unhappy family.
Children from happy families tend to be more confident in their personalities and are better at socializing with others, while children from unhappy families are more likely to have character defects.
There is a widely circulated saying about what kind of family is the happiest, that is, "Dad loves Mom, Mom loves children".
Children are the crystallization of their parents' love, and the relationship between parents directly affects the growth and character of children.
Dear mom and dad, for the sake of your children, get along with your other half.
Mutual consultation and mutual concession to resolve differences. When encountering conflicts and disagreements, parents should calm down and negotiate again.
On non-principled issues, the two sides may make appropriate concessions, respect each other's differences in growth environment, gender, personality, etc., and reach consensus through mutual consultation and mutual accommodation.
When a family is under constant stress, verbal communication can turn into harsh accusations and intimidation, and the result of excessive stress is a long-term increase in cortisol that is not released, thus forming a vicious circle.
If children can learn from their parents how to resolve differences and apply them to their own interpersonal interactions.
Mutual support and mutual affection. On the emotional side, parents should comfort and motivate each other, especially when the other person is frustrated and depressed.
In career and family life, one party is charging forward in the workplace, and the other party is a strong backing at home to solve worries. Parents also have to share each other's sorrows, worries, and failures with each other, so that the painful emotions are halved.
The parents' demonstration will moisturize things silently, so that children can take the initiative to imitate, and they will gain pure friendship, sweet love, and warm family affection in their own lives in the future.
The language of parents is to teach their children by word and deed
The richer the language environment a child is exposed to, the stronger his ability to understand words and meanings, and the easier he will be when using words. Then the stronger the child's comprehension ability, the stronger the ability to act, and the stronger the ability to give timely feedback.
If language is a sharp sword, then the language of parents is even more influential.
Parents need to constantly optimize their expressions and communication skills when communicating with their children, so this set of books must be famous for selling well for more than ten years as a classic work of dialogue between parents and children.
When we always complain and blame our children, we might as well calm down and think about it, are our children really that bad?
In other words, what kind of references do we use to guide our children so that we are left with only criticism of our children?
When we are still children, when we are young and face the accusations of our parents, do we also feel lost and overwhelmed or even a little helpless?
As parents, encouraging children should be the norm for us to treat children every day, rather than giving them candy after a slap in the face.
Regardless of the purpose of the child's situation and whether it is appropriate, parents should give the child a warm response. Children can only thrive when they feel the warmth from their parents.
As a parent, you should be a good emotional guide and adjuster for your children, and at the same time set an example for your child to deal with emotional problems, and subtly act as a guide, such as replacing pale cheering with stories of great people, and using the form of cheering in vain to discuss how to face difficulties better than powerlessness.
Identify your child's strengths and praise them often. Some children study well, some children know how to be polite, some children are caring, etc.
When children encounter difficulties in learning or life, we must guide them in time, as long as the children work hard, no matter how simple things are, they should be praised.
Praise is specific and objective, giving praise for a certain thing, and then extending to a broader aspect. For children, the world is new and unfamiliar to them.
We need to guide them to understand the world in the right way, so that they can establish a healthy connection with the world.
Therefore, effective encouragement from parents can help children awaken their internal drive, give full play to their own strengths, and continue to make greater progress.
Provide high-quality companionship to your child
Many parents think that as long as they are with their children, they are accompanied, even if they are holding their mobile phones, talking to their children absentmindedly, or just looking at their children...... In fact, this is not a real companionship, and it can even be regarded as an ineffective companionship.
High quality does not mean that you have to coax the child all the time, play with him and make him laugh in this case, in fact, the parents are in charge, and the child is just passively accepting.
High-quality companionship requires letting go of high expectations, "Just to accompany you, I didn't do anything this day, but what about you......"
If we are like this when we are with our children, we have expectations, and we always want our children to do in the direction we expect, otherwise we will be indignant about our efforts and fall into victim mode.
Eating with your child and talking about interesting or unhappy things that happen during the day is a high-quality companionship.
Accompanying children to watch movies and documentaries, discussing and exploring together, is a high-quality companionship.
Accompanying children to play parent-child games, creating games with children, and formulating game rules is high-quality companionship.
The same is true for habits, if parents have good habits, there is a high probability that children will also develop them, such as the habit of reading.
There are many studies that show that reading is very important for a child's development and success, so exposing children to a lot of books at home may benefit their success.
Reading can help children develop language and communication skills.
They can also learn how to express their thoughts and feelings and communicate with others in a clear, coherent way. Parents accompany their children to read picture books, tell stories, and read books with their children, which is also high-quality companionship.
Write to the end
The book "The Language of Parents" confronts the common mistakes made by parents in educating their children, and combines a large number of real-life examples to tell parents how to communicate correctly and effectively with their children, and how to use scientific education methods to educate their children.
In fact, the process of raising children is also a process of self-growth.
Most parents want their children to have good learning and thinking skills, as well as a strong, courageous and optimistic character.
But they often overlook an important prerequisite: the ability to guide their children upwards!
Parenting is never simply about watching them grow up and keep them fed and clothed.
It is to let them constantly improve themselves in the process of growth, and have the ability and reason to resist the ups and downs of life.