The third mistake I want to talk about today is to talk about empty words and make false promises.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
At the time of breaking up, your ex will definitely say what your problem is, and if you give up the decision to break up for the sake of the other party, you will make a promise to the other person, promise that you will change, and then hope that the other party will turn back.
At this time, you will find that no matter how you promise, the other party just ignores you and insists on breaking up.
Let's take a closer look at this phenomenon.
First of all, let's talk about the first question, which is, why do you want to commit?
Many people may say: Of course I have to promise, if the object breaks up with me for these reasons, I promise that I will change it in order to redeem it.
There is a difficult mistake to detect here, which is that reason and emotion are confused.
Explaining to you like this means that the other party wants to break up with you, which is a rational behavior. But the other person doesn't love you anymore, it's a sensual act.
If the other party mentions the reasons for the breakup with you when they break up, these reasons cause the separation of rational thinking, but the emotional thoughts will not disappear with the resolution of this reason.
The common breakup process is like this, because of your bad habits, the other party feels worse and worse about you, and then rationally decides to separate from you, but at the same time, it is accompanied by emotional denial.
Let's take an example to illustrate:
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Suppose the other party breaks up with you because you don't like cleanliness, then her mental journey is like this: because you don't like cleanliness, she feels that you are very annoying, and at the same time, as time goes by, the feeling of love is gradually decreasing, and finally the feeling of love can't withstand the feeling of hate, so she broke up with you.
Then when you break up, you will be told the reason because you don't like to be clean. Then you feel that as long as you promise to be clean, the other person will immediately reconcile with you. But then you ignore the emotional impact of your uncleanness.
This kind of emotional influence will make the other party think of you, think of you not like to be clean, or always feel that you are not so credible, these are very complex feelings in her mind, and they cannot be explained in three or two sentences.
Having said so much, you can simply understand that the other party said the reason for the breakup, but it is just the reason that the other party can express, and the feeling behind it is not clear, so it is not a simple commitment to solve the problem that can make you succeed.
We can also consider this from the perspective of our predecessors.
First of all, when you make a promise, you really want to change it from the heart, and I believe that not only I can see this, but your predecessor must also be able to feel it.
But the problem is, your ex must have given you many chances to solve this problem, but you still haven't solved it, so why should you trust your promise when you break up?
This is also what many people will say when they break up: It's too late, I've told you so many times before, and you haven't changed.
I hope that when you promise to change, you will also consider the feelings of your ex, if your ex chooses to trust you easily at this time, then they are actually taking a big risk. Because if your ex accepts your promise, it means that they are going to live the same bad life again, and they may not be able to see your change.
So from the ex point of view, the best thing to do is not to believe it, wait until you really change, and then decide what to do next.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
After analyzing so much, I will give you a brief summary: if you want to make a commitment to your ex, then you must know that your commitment is to say to yourself, not to exchange promises for reconciliation.
When you change your feet on the ground, your ex will find out for yourself, and your ex's attitude towards you will change.
#前任##挽回##失恋#