At the farewell ceremony of Rui Xiaodan's body, Xiao Yawen asked Rui Weifeng when he told Rui Xiaodan's grave site.
Rui Weifeng's answer was that if Xiao Yawen could promise that Ding Yuanying would not disturb Rui Xiaodan, he would tell her when he was settled.
Xiao Yawen said truthfully: She can't.
Rui Weifeng refused to tell her.
Judging from Rui Weifeng's words to Xiao Yawen, what Rui Weifeng hates most is that Ding Yuanying did not let Rui Xiaodan avoid danger. If Ding Yuanying could persuade Rui Xiaodan, but Rui Xiaodan didn't listen, he would have nothing to say.
However, Rui Weifeng believes that Ding Yuanying didn't even say a word of worry, and he believes that Ding Yuanying hurt Rui Xiaodan's feelings by doing so.
Therefore, they did not allow Ding Yuanying to see Rui Xiaodan, because he didn't want his feelings to be hurt.
It can be seen from this sentence that he is still the father who doesn't understand his daughter, and the hatred he expressed for Ding Yuanying is ostensibly because Ding Yuanying doesn't care about Rui Xiaodan.
You can feel Rui Weifeng's jealousy of Ding Yuanying. When he asked Xiao Yawen if Ding Yuanying's words had any impact on Rui Xiaodan, Xiao Yawen said that it had a great impact.
This made Rui Weifeng very frustrated, a failure of being a father. Since Rui Xiaodan was 6 years old, after Rui Weifeng and Rui Xiaodan's mother divorced, Rui Xiaodan no longer paid attention to him, and finally took the initiative to find him, or because Ding Yuanying and Ouyang Xue bet to take money to speculate in stocks.
This made Rui Weifeng feel very uncomfortable, his biological daughter hated herself for so many years, and she easily fell in love with a strange man.
Emotionally, Rui Weifeng is selfish towards Rui Xiaodan and longs to have his daughter's love for him, but Rui Xiaodan obviously loves Ding Yuanying more.
On understanding Rui Xiaodan, Rui Weifeng has always used his values to make Rui Xiaodan a screenwriter:
"If you write a good book, then don't shoot it for others, start your own company and shoot it yourself. Do you know how much money a good drama can make? from a few million to tens of millions, which is enough money for you to earn as a police officer for a lifetime. A good drama, you are a character everywhere you go. ”
Rui Weifeng believes that being a screenwriter can make a lot of money and have a reputation.
However, this is exactly what Rui Xiaodan does not value. Therefore, he did not convince Rui Xiaodan in his career planning for Rui Xiaodan.
Unexpectedly, he didn't convince Rui Xiaodan, Ding Yuanying's words convinced - "The state apparatus does not lack a female criminal policeman who will be eliminated sooner or later, and the society should have one more talent with extraordinary achievements." ”
Rui Weifeng also thinks: "My daughter is gone, which is enough for a father." What he lost was only a woman, he could have a second and a third, but what I lost was a daughter, irreplaceable, non-renewable. ”
This echoes Rui Xiaodan's sentence "You don't get married because you can have more women ......".
Rui Weifeng and Rui Xiaodan's mother divorced, a big reason is because they can have more women, which is in line with the private lives of some directors before and now.
At the same time, it also shows that Rui Weifeng must find many women to prove himself, and he is also a man with psychological problems. is like the affair between a director and several international stars, once a psychologist interpreted it like this: he is looking for his mother's fragments.
To put it simply, if a man is not connected enough to his mother, he spends his life looking for fragments of his mother, and finally tries to form a complete idealized mother.
It is precisely because of this idealization in their hearts that they are suitable for literary and artistic creation.
Rui Weifeng's personality is more like a contradictory type, they have experienced being abandoned by their mother again and again since they were young, or they have to face separation that they can't bear at a young age again and again.
People of their character, once they enter into an intimate relationship, will be especially afraid that the other person will abandon them, and they will often be suspicious and unwarranted speculation.
It is precisely because of this that Rui Weifeng chose to divorce Rui Xiaodan's mother, probably because he was afraid that his wife would not want him one day, so it was better for him to file for divorce first.
However, people like them can't stand loneliness, and as soon as the last relationship comes out, they immediately enter the next relationship.
This is also why Rui Xiaodan can't understand whether he has not married just to have more women, in fact, it is difficult for him to explain it to his daughter.
Rui Weifeng is such a person, he thinks that Ding Yuanying is the same kind of person as him. However, although Ding Yuanying also has a good relationship with her mother, Ding Yuanying is an avoidant personality + a relationship that pursues a higher realm.
Avoidant people, like Ding Yuanying, yearn for loneliness, indifference, pride, conceit, and stubbornness, but these impersonal feelings on their surface are actually to cover up the taste they once were familiar with - the pain and disappointment of rejection.
Therefore, just like Ding Yuanying, he will shift his attention to his mother to his academic and career achievements.
Ding Yuanying can't travel around the female crowd, just watch him return to single after a year of "fooling around", which can be seen.
In reality, many people with avoidant personalities must be a "workaholic" when they grow up. They treat work as a "mom", work gives them a greater sense of control, and immersion in work can make them avoid intimacy for granted.
When he met Rui Xiaodan, he said: You are the only confidant in your life, which is enough.
It can be seen that after Rui Xiaodan left, it was difficult for him to fall in love with another woman.
This is something that people like Rui Weifeng can't understand.
Therefore, Rui Xiaodan is destined to only live in Ding Yuanying's heart, and after death, Ding Yuanying is not even qualified to look at her.
However, going back to the Dharma, if a person is believing in Buddhism, reading sutras at home, practicing in daily life, but believing in Buddhism, it is not necessarily necessary to go to the temple to offer incense.
Ding Yuanying is the same, he loves Rui Xiaodan, it is enough to have Rui Xiaodan in his heart, he can't go to the cemetery to sweep the grave, maybe it's a pity, but it's not necessary.
And Rui Weifeng, who was abandoned by his mother again and again since he was a child, and after having a daughter, he suffered from his daughter's indifference and hatred for many years, so after his daughter passed away, he had to protect his daughter well and let her daughter really belong to him.
No matter how he lacked his fatherly role when Rui Xiaodan was alive, no matter how he wavered in all relationships.
However, at the end of his daughter's life, the father straightened his back and declared to everyone that he loved her daughter.
This kind of deep fatherly love, like countless fathers who are not good at expressing themselves, will always silently express their love with actions in places that their children don't know. Even if this love is not understood, he has done his best.