It's the annual Qingming season again, and the relatives at home and the people in the circle of friends are busy sweeping the tombs and hanging the green to pay tribute to the deceased relatives and ancestors.
Some people are busy sweeping the tombs, some people are busy accompanying the elderly, some people are busy listening to some stories of their ancestors, and some people want to sweep the tombs but can't......
有一位网友非常气愤，说自己的家乡有一个传统观念，就是嫁出去的女儿不能回娘家上坟，否则对娘家不好。
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The netizen returned to her parents' house and wanted to go to the tomb with the family, but as soon as the elders of the family heard her, they immediately rejected her request, because she was already married and entered the genealogy of someone else's family.
Hearing the refusal of the family elders, she expressed her incomprehension and disappointment, she just got married, and she didn't change her surname, and her body still flowed with her mother's blood, why did she become an outsider?
She was angry, she was annoyed, she couldn't figure it out, but she had to accept the facts.
Does a woman have no home when she gets married?
As she said: home is there, but it is not home.
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Now in 2024, there are some deep-rooted concepts of the older generation that cannot be changed, and they always insist that "married daughters cannot go to their parents' graves", otherwise they will take away their mother's feng shui and bring bad luck to their parents' family.
The sentence that a foreign-married woman cannot go to the grave has hurt the hearts of many married women.
I also felt deeply helpless that this bad habit still exists in some rural areas.
全国外嫁女不能回家扫墓？过节也不可以？我还是第一次听说，估计只有她那里才是这样吧，外嫁女就这么没地位？
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同为广西人，我长这么大，还是第一次听说，还好我们村没有这种习。 But it cannot be denied that the customs of individual regions, each place has its own way of life, we can't understand it, just respect it.
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祭祖的时候女人不能去，连祠堂也不能去！
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In the case of an elder brother and a younger brother, the women are not allowed to go up the mountain. This is a bit patriarchal, both men and women are the same, they are all blood inheritance.
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外嫁女过年过节不能回娘家，也不准去扫墓。 If you are divorced, you can't go back, and those who have been divorced are too embarrassed and unlucky.
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外嫁女回娘家做清明，表示娘家没有后人。
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外嫁女不能回娘家做清明，更别提拜祖了。
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没有什么外嫁女儿不能回家扫墓一说，去扫墓的人越多越好，说明家族人兴丁旺。
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可我也很想去世的爸爸呀！连给爸爸磕个头、上柱香、烧个纸钱的资格都没有吗？
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好想回去给妈妈上柱香，可是害怕家族里的人不高兴，不敢回也不能回。
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Some netizens said that Qingming is to worship the ancestors that her husband does not know, while missing her deceased relatives.
On this day, give them a pillar of incense, put a plate of tribute, sort out the grave, toast a glass of wine, and burn a handful of paper, whether the people in the mound can feel it or not, this is also a little thing that we living people can do for them.
Traditional customs and culture should be inherited, but the dregs of the culture should be removed, such as the custom that married women cannot go back to their parents' homes to go to the grave, the palms and backs of their hands are full of meat, and the married women are also the children of their parents, and they are also the children of their ancestors, and they are also eligible to worship.
其实我个人觉得，如果真的无法改变传统风俗，外嫁女不一定要挑这天去祭拜，一年当中有这么多日子，也可以选择其他日子去，毕竟每个地方的风俗习惯不一样，为了避免不可必要的麻烦，按地方习俗办事就好，你们说是不是？
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