Korean entertainment is finally crazy that I don't understand......
In the early morning of March 29, Han Suxi posted a long post on her SNS in response to the "transfer love" incident.
The sheep sorted it out, and the main content was about 2 parts: confessing to Yoo Junyeol and attacking Lee Hye-ri. (Spread hands.)
First of all, Han Suxi said that appearance is not everything, the relationship between the two is fate, and it is also the result of careful consideration.
Secondly, Han Suxi denied all the rumors of interference.
said that he and Yoo Junyeol met for the first time in November last year, when Yoo Junyeol and Lee Hye-ri had already broken up, and the two feelings did not have any timeline overlap.
After that, only two days later, Han So-hee and Yoo Junyeol officially announced their breakup.
Many netizens speculated whether it was because she was too crazy that she scared Yoo Junyeol away......
To tell the truth, although Han Suxi is really crazy with the naked eye, she never has an explosive temper from time to time, and she can see that she can scold whoever she wants, and she really doesn't put any emotions in her heart.
Compared to Hui Li, he is obviously a victim, but he has to be the first to stand up and apologize to the public......
It can only be said that the more kind and decent people are, the easier it is to suppress their emotions and be wronged in life.
I don't know how many people have seen Li Huili deeply substituted for themselves.
In the event of an incident, the emotions are all at ease, and when encountering a crazy person, it is even more helpless, and it is difficult to vent the emotions for a long time, but it also crushes the body.
As a result, under the pressure of work and life, a number of "nasty personalities" began to appear on the Internet:
As the name suggests, put yourself first, love yourself first, and dare to refuse unreasonable demands.
Colleagues ask themselves for help at every turn, but they often bump into themselves and have something to do.
In the hearts of the "forget it, help her again", "what if she gets angry if she refuses", the pleasing personality chooses to hit the straight ball violently: I don't have time, please solve it yourself.
In the face of unreasonable demands from others, the people-hating personality will directly take a stand and will never be wronged at all.
As for the offense of strangers, then there is even less reason to compromise.
But...... Not everyone is comfortable with their changes.
More people are still trapped in the circle of interpersonal relationships, often crazy in their hearts, but in reality, it is always the three sentences of "can, okay, know, receive" back and forth
Let's just say that I want to live without burden, but it's really difficult, how can I change the character of the soft bun and love myself well!?
Today's "pleasing type" personality development formula is put away quickly!
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How to close the emotional valve of Gao Min ER?
Sisters who believe in a pleasing personality have had the same experience:
was assigned a complicated and cumbersome important task by the leader, but because he was afraid of causing trouble to others, he usually chose to complete it by himself.
Others repeatedly make offensive jokes, and they are also afraid of affecting interpersonal relationships......
Even when facing strangers, they will habitually put the feelings of others first, but ignore themselves.
Why do we think so much about the unexpected world?
The reason for this is that every people-pleasing personality has a very sensitive heart
The other is an individual with uncertainty, and the self is a being that can be controlled.
Therefore, in order to avoid conflict, we will first assess whether we can bear it all, so as to subconsciously put pressure on ourselves and minimize the conflict rate as much as possible.
Therefore, the first step of the "hateful personality" is to start from practicing blunt sensibility and do a good job in one's own psychological construction.
Sheep recommends a useful psychological suggestion: always remember that everything is projection.
For example, in the face of other people's malicious signals, we can make full use of the projection method—
It's not that others deny me, it's not that I can't do it, but because he is a bad person himself, he will be more inclined to find a sense of existence by denying others.
As long as you follow this idea and face the unreasonable demands imposed on you by others, you can change your thinking in a second:
is arrogant to you because they themselves are very unhappy in their own lives, and they can only show their power by bullying others.
The truth is not difficult to understand, and everyone you see and hear is yourself.
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How to overcome habitual obedience?
Let the bullets fly for a while
OK, after the psychological construction is completed, we have officially entered the practical operation stage!
Many people-pleasing personalities have difficulty "rejecting" others, not necessarily because they care too much about what others think, but because they react subconsciously.
Specifically, when someone throws a sentence, your brain often has no time to think, and in order to avoid coldness, you can only habitually agree.
After the fact, it was found that ...... You don't seem to want to do it?
I believe that many sisters have been hit by an arrow in the knee when they see this......
What can be done to get rid of the problem of "habitual obedience"?
The sheep answer is given directly: start by not saying "yes" so quickly.
The first step is to tell them that you need some time to think about it.
Therefore, delaying the reaction time as much as possible can also help us make more rational decisions.
Step 2: Before making a decision, ask yourself: Do I want to help him, do I have the ability and time, and will helping him affect my normal life?
A thorough self-assessment will also help us to better split our tasks so that we can plan our schedules.
Finally, when replying to others, you can use the "I try, I try, I may not be able to ......" formula.
If it gets done, it's another price (surprise, if it doesn't work out, it won't leave the impression of unreliable and random promises.)
Over time, you will be able to slowly get out of the habitual habit of agreeing to others and make decisions that are in line with your heart!
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Can't refuse?
Then start small
In addition, another characteristic of the people-pleasing personality is that it is often not good at expressing opinions.
Sometimes it's clear that someone else is asking for your opinion, but you always respond with "it's okay, it's okay, you can decide......".
Over time, they will naturally default to this being a person who has no opinions and no position, and they can treat it however they want.
Even this method of pressing step by step and slowly encroaching is also reflected in many emotional relationships.
At first, I just wanted to be friends, teachers and students, and colleagues with each other, but I didn't know how, so I was confused step by step and had other relationships under the guidance of the other party......
Therefore, saying "I want" when I want it and "I don't want it" when I don't want it is a topic that every people-pleasing personality has to learn throughout their lives.
Yang understands that it is very difficult to change his personality immediately, just like fighting a boss, it is impossible to single out the big dragon as soon as he leaves the novice village.
So let's do some "behavioral experiments" first.
Say no to some inconsequential things, and then slowly accumulate experience and establish conflict inertia.
For example, find some confrontational games such as werewolf killing, and practice the ability to self-explain + ask reasonable questions in a back and forth.
In the face of offensive sales pitches, try to ignore the pressure of others and be brave enough to say, "I don't need to."
It's not a big deal, because you're just not going to see a second stranger.
And when this step is practiced, we can move on to the next step painlessly: actively seeking conflict.
This process can be broken down into two steps:
1. Know your own strength
2. Put yourself in a conflicting situation
Recognizing your own power is simple—helping others.
Through the self-confirmation mechanism, I realized that I am not a weak chicken who takes care of myself, but a strong person who can provide protection to others.
At the same time, put yourself in conflicting situations, such as returning goods at the mall, asking others to stop smoking in public, and questioning what others are thinking......
Remember, be sure to practice frequently and slowly transition this inertia into all the details of your life until you have a thankless instinct.