What are the common characteristics of people who "open up in life" and "turn the tables against the wind"?
If you want me to say, the answer is "very scared". There will be this conclusion because Xiaomi's new car has been selling well recently, and everyone found that Lei Jun's life is like a hanging:
▲ Shuangwen script! can sell well, because he feels sincere and reliable.
▲ said very sincerely, although he is rarely said to have high emotional intelligence, but after a while, people are actually very good: for example, the host asked him with a scowl face, and commented on Ma Yun in front of Liu Qiangdong, and he answered the proposition to a new height:
▲ First of all, objectively praise Ma Yun
▲ In order to avoid the embarrassment of Liu Qiangdong in the same scene, he also said that he "worships Brother Dong" For another example, Dong Mingzhu said that his mobile phone could not be repaired for free for 6 years, he replied:
▲ Decent and appropriateIn fact, there are really many scenes of "being scolded" in life, such as being criticized by the face, complaining with the face, making demands on the face, and so on. People who are driving or overtaking in corners are often very good at "responding to being scolded". For example, Yi Nengjing, who has a bumper harvest in career and love, was also super gold-absorbing in the live broadcast before, but she was scolded and said that things are expensive, she said:
▲ Awesome, for another example, as I said before, Fei Xiang was complained by fans that he played the king, and he replied super smartly:
▲Who can not forgive after listening? On the contrary, the example of "not being scared" and overturning, now Han Suxi is:
▲ first question + 10,000 words long article, now from a big beauty to a crazy woman, including us ordinary people, there are often other half of the proposition, the boss thinks you do a bad job, friends make demands, parents complain about you, etc. Bear with it, be afraid of the consequences, don't say anything and regret it, and dig a hole for yourself if you say it... The level of response basically determines your career, relationship, interpersonal relationship, family, and mental smoothness. However, the good news is that we are not far from the above "high emotional intelligence response", and we can learn the routine!
It's a problem
In the face of "being scolded", there are basically two attitudes on the market: one is "forbearance", holding the mentality of "forbearance for a while", trying not to fight back, or even being very obedient. But the disadvantages are also obvious: first, it is not good for breast health, and secondly, some people will get an inch, and the more patient you are, the more some people will think that you are a bully. What many people don't realize is that although they think that they "endure it and don't express it", in fact, their inner unhappiness will still be revealed, and others will not endure it when they listen to the yin and yang weirdness.
▲An Lingrong herself is also very aggrieved, but her speech does not sound uncomfortable, so the more popular idea now is "scare", and the extreme point is "going crazy and consuming others", focusing on a mammary gland. But what to say, our readers are generally more pragmatic, and we also know that most of this kind of cool text plot can only be watched, and if we really do it, we can't afford the consequences.
▲Don't forget Li Jiaqi's "Which Li is expensive" If you feel a dilemma, this article can let you put an end to this trouble! Specifically, Jenny I call this method "witty response", and the specific method is "no no but generation". "No" means that no matter what the other person says, you should not directly deny the other party, whether it is questioning the other party's conclusion, questioning the other party's logic, or attacking the other party's intentions. On the contrary, you have to accept that the other person is right, or at least not to scold the other person openly, but to accept the other person's premise. "Generation" means that you do not deny the other person's logic, but only substitute the other person or yourself into this logic. It's more abstract to say that, let's look at examples. For example, as mentioned earlier, Dong Mingzhu said that the mobile phone should be guaranteed for 6 years for free, which is obviously a very unreasonable requirement. Did Lei Jun deny that "you are unreasonable" and "you are here to stir up trouble"? No, this is called "no no". Then, he substituted his own situation and said, "Xiaomi air conditioner can be guaranteed for free for 7 years", the subtext, mobile phones and air conditioners are not the same, but there is no scolding, and it is naturally resolved. When you go back and forth like this, first of all, you don't explicitly deny the other party, your attitude is good, and it is not easy to offend people or appear to be aggressive. Secondly, you also showed an attitude of fighting back, the other party knows that you are not easy to handle, and he will not dare to provoke you casually next time. For example, your colleague teaches you that you still want to buy a house, "you still have to get married early", you feel very annoyed, but if you directly scold you, you are afraid that you will be difficult to get along with. Then use "no but only represent" to substitute the other party, you can first affirm the other party, "You are right, you are very experienced at a glance." Then substitute the other party into the logic, "Is your house very big and well decorated/Is your marriage particularly happy?" (This is just an idea, you need to expand it and say a few more words when you practice, and you need to be sincere and not yin and yang.) ）
When someone makes an unreasonable request to you, such as "can you help me make an X", instead of arguing, directly "no but represent" and let the other party "then you can also make X for me", and you will naturally block back. If you go back like this, one of the other party can't say anything, and the other also finds that you are not easy to handle, and he will not dare to catch you next time. So you see, don't put up with it and don't be scared, the high-level routine is very simple, we can "not deny only generation"! Of course, this is still risky, we have more advanced -
02 The highest state of Hui Yi won without a fight
Although "no no only generation" is much milder than straightforward, it is still intimidating in attitude, which may still offend people and affect the image. The highest level of revenge, in fact, has been said in the art of war, winning without a fight, the specific way is to only say yourself/facts, which is actually very useful. Lei Jun is very good at this trick! For example, when the host asked Ma Yun before, Lei Jun and Dong Mingzhu could choose one of the two, who would he choose, and Ma Yun said quite politely.
▲ not only praised one step on one, but also said a lot of shortcomings to focus on, Ma Yun said that the shortcomings of Xiaomi are short growth time, things are too empty, and lack of stability. And Lei Jun's response is all about himself and the facts:
▲Traditional enterprises have been doing for a long time, and they have the shortcomings of not understanding customers
▲Traditional enterprises are true, but there are inventory risks
▲Traditional enterprises do more, but it is not as good as Xiaomi's specialization and there is no "Ma Yun", but they just focus on talking about themselves and telling the facts, but they are neither humble nor arrogant, and they are reasonable and well-founded. The effect is that not only did he not lose on the spot, but after watching the clip, the public's favorable impression of Lei Jun also increased:
▲ Many people who think that he is being bullied will feel that Lei Jun is so good at "forbearance", and he will not reply when he is said to be so ugly. This is a major misunderstanding! In fact, he just used a more advanced method to attack him because he understood human nature. When there is no obvious right or wrong in something, the crowd will look at (1) who will do it first, (2) who is aggressive, and then stand on the opposite side of that person. And if you know this, you know that many times you are a little less aggressive, and if you don't take the initiative to open up, you just clarify, but you will guide others to "help you" and win without a fight. The most recent example should be Hyeri vs Han So-hee, strictly speaking, Hyeri's first "interesting" start:
▲Because her boyfriend who has been together for 7 years broke up and found a new girlfriend, she was suspected of being seamless, and her speech was not aggressive, nor did she point to Han Suxi, and therefore, Han Suxi's follow-up "puppy with a knife" and "Ten Thousand Words Three Questions" were considered to be excessive, but lost popularity among passers-by.
▲In the eyes of the masses, one is that she attacks first, and the other is that she is aggressive, so she must be wrong (picture source @ Niu Cobalt Lu Liuliu) This trick is also very useful in life!
▲For example, Li Fei'er accuses Jinchao of not arranging, you don't need to make any reproach to her accusation, you can clarify the facts with a good attitude;
▲ Jin Chao is just to clarify the facts, he did not arrange it, and other people and superiors tend to prefer your general attitude, and the final benefit is yours:
▲ Ji Lingchen couldn't hold it back, and replaced Jin Chao and Li Fei'er next to him
▲The directors also think that Li Fei'er is wrong, if you want to figure this out, "No, (clearly) is not relying on forbearance at all, but relying on true understanding", this works best!
03 What should I do if the concubine can't do it
Although he talked about a lot of routines and words, everyone generally felt that "concubines can't do it". For example, although intellectually I think it is right, emotionally I just can't say it. For example, although I want to get a good result, I don't choose what I say emotionally. For example, even if you follow the tutorial, you feel aggrieved and feel very guilty. In fact, when we look at it from a deep level, we can't say it, it's easy to fight back, and our hearts are aggrieved, and the essence is that "we want to attack." So why do we want to attack? It's often because "we feel attacked." For example, if the other person says A is good, we may interpret it as "say that I am not good", and we feel attacked. For example, if the other person says what to do better, we will interpret it as "saying that I am not good", and we will also feel attacked. It's instinctive to respond directly to an attack, which is why you find it difficult to control your emotions. The next question is, why can some people be calm? In fact, it is not by forbearance, but by upgrading thinking and mentality. In the face of other people's intimidation, this kind of person is not easy to directly think that "the other party is attacking me", and it is not easy to turn on the instinct of counterattack, so they are naturally more peaceful. Sometimes, the other party is not actually "targeting me", but he is doing this to everyone, and in comparison, he is relatively better to me.
▲ Ma Yun is not a person once or twice, some times, the other party is actually a last resort, it may not be expected, it may be impulsive, it may be limited ability, it is not necessarily "subjectively want to attack you".
▲ Lu Yi painted Bao Lei, the painting was not good-looking, Bao Lei was not angry, maybe his level is like this, but he encouraged him Sometimes, the other party actually has a good intention. If you interpret and deal with it with kindness, it is easy to trigger the other party's guilt and make the other party treat you better. For example, Fei Xiang was blamed for "how to play the king", but in fact, the other party likes himself very much, cares about himself, and has this kind of need for closeness, so he will blame. Therefore, instead of fighting back against the other party, it is better to see the needs of the other party, and then accept and recognize, and the relationship will be pulled into it at once. ▲ There are still times when the other party is indeed malicious, and you can "use it for me" even if the other party is indeed malicious. For example, even if the other person asks you to speak, you can interpret it as "this will definitely be questioned sooner or later, and it would be nice to give me a chance to clarify", and it will be easier to be positive when you see this as an opportunity. ▲For example, Yi Nengjing's response is too expensive, and when you can accurately identify the other party's intentions and situations, you will find that many times the other party is not deliberately attacking you, but he has his own goals, limitations, etc., and you can also make the relationship better and get more by responding appropriately. And a few times, even if the other party has malicious intentions, you know how to respond, you can protect yourself, and it is not easy to affect your image, you can be at ease, and you will not be emotionally unstable. So you see, a simple "response to being scolded" actually involves specific words, understanding of human nature, control of the other party's intentions, response to different situations, mentality adjustment, and so on. Being able to do this well actually means that this person's communication skills, human control, emotional stability, and underlying thinking are all online - so he can become an open player! Either you have to learn from home, and parents disassemble scene by scene since childhood, so that you can understand it deeply.
Both of these are actually difficult, but it doesn't matter, now there is a shortcut - "Fat Da Jenny Communication Training Camp 10.0 Version" hosted by Janie I! It can make you reborn in 26 days and open up the second pulse of communication and supervision! On the spontaneous feedback of the first 9 students, after the training camp, the scenes that will not be dealt with will be dealt with:
It will be used on various occasions (scroll down to view)
It turned out that the relationship between the contradictions and gave me a headache every day was greatly straightened out after the training camp, and the reversal effect was:
The relationship with my mother-in-law, husband, colleagues, and girlfriends is much better (scroll down to view)
Not only has the thinking and mentality been upgraded, but the emotions have also stabilized:
Become peaceful, grateful, and positive (scroll down to view)
What's more, I got real results in the love field, workplace, and interpersonal field:
Smooth marriage and love, workplace progress, and nobles (scroll down to view)
Of course, there are many praises from other angles, and for reasons of space, only some excerpts are made:
The overall effect of the rebirth (scroll down to view)
The reason why we have such a good effect is that, unlike other shallow "communication training camps" on the market, we are "communication training camps", which is very different. As analyzed earlier, "communication ability" is actually very comprehensive, and the effect is good when people are recognized, thinking, concepts, and mentality are connected layer by layer. Therefore, in our course, there are not only "speech formulas": ▲ now learned and used, but also human analysis, in-depth analysis of what your parents, boss, and other half are thinking, what is the subtext of speaking, how to say it to their hearts, and the effect is doubled: ▲ Mentality analysis ▲ Obedient listening tells you how to distinguish between kindness and malice, how to deal with it so that well-meaning people treat you better, and malicious people retreat: ▲ Different situations, how to distinguish + deal with and students' feedback is very practical "mentality adjustment" , so that you not only know how to say, but also sincerely say it without internal friction, and the effect is doubled again: ▲ Afraid of embarrassment, very aggrieved, unconvinced, can't speak, there are antidotes here
Including the logic of the entire interpersonal relationship, there is a whole set of "exclusive thinking analysis", which is clear and clear: ▲ One method, all analysis That is to say, our "communication training camp" is actually about equal to the communication course + cognitive course + human nature course + workplace course + emotional value course + noble social class on the market, and comprehensively open up the two pulses of your communication: ▲ Six-in-one tutorial ▲ Six-in-one effect In order to avoid learning bias, the content is not only "correct version" but also "common error version" :▲ Accurate expression of the problem of many students feedback, learned our course, only to find that the previous learning is wrong, I thought that the god operation is actually all sassy operation, the tutorials learned are all wrong. Don't worry about being too complicated and difficult to learn, the course design is very scientific, and each lesson gradually increases in difficulty. Don't worry about forgetting after learning, the training camp is set up with "pre-class self-test + course content + after-class exercises + one-on-one correction + exercise analysis + community Q&A", so that you can "learn and practice" ,Can really be integrated into the bone marrow:▲You can try to sort,And find out the misunderstanding course a total of 36w words concise,21 mind maps,577 minutes of audio,Clear and thorough;Permanently effective,You can continue to use it like looking up a dictionary:▲6 courses are condensed,A clear and life-like after-class question,Let everyone practice effectively,You can also accurately find out your weaknesses、 Thinking and mentality stuck points: ▲ are very practical scenes, convenient for living and learning ▲ teaching assistants personalized correction, accurate problems (there is never such a high level of precision on the market) This set of "learning and practicing" has been completed, and a lot of students have given feedback, which is very helpful:
Pinpoint the problem (scroll down to view)
What's even more rare is that each training camp has Janie and I deeply involved, building a unique loving and useful community atmosphere: ▲ You can't find bloggers on the market with such a high level of participation ▲ The answer is not only an analysis, but also a specific method ▲ You can ask questions for help at any time, warm and helpful ▲ Never disband, your backup girlfriend group and think tank have participated in the students, all of them say that they love the community atmosphere, and the atmosphere alone is worth the ticket price:
Now it's upgraded, and you can also watch the chat history if you don't have time to climb the building (scroll down to view)
After doing the math, the gold content of our training camp is about equal to: there are many people who have participated in it and said that their mentality has improved, which is much more effective than the psychological counseling that charges 500/h and starts with 20 or 30 times. Because, not only can it solve emotions, but also make negative emotions no longer occur by adjusting the underlying cognition. It's no wonder that previous students have reported that they have "made a lot of money" and "are worth it":
Excerpt from the excerpt (scroll down to view)
Whether you don't know how to say something in trouble, or feel that you have stabbed Lou Zi and offended people after speaking, or you always feel wronged and regretful in the relationship, and negative emotions are constant, you can get a reborn improvement in our communication training camp! Of course, the course is also suitable for the following people: The suspension of classes during the May Day period (you can chat and discuss as usual) does not affect the schedule, an average of 1h a day, 699 yuan can be easily and comprehensively upgraded, towards a promotion and salary increase, smooth love, and smooth interpersonal relationships. If you learn early and improve early, the price may increase in the future. ▲ Class schedule
(Except for hand-drawn, the pictures in the article are from the Internet)
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