It is not easy to be original, and plagiarism must be investigated
Text: Xie Wenqing
Unconsciously, Mrs. Sheng pointed out Minglan in writing, this is already the fourth article. The reason why I am so persistent in wanting to record Mrs. Sheng's life guidance to Minglan
It's because I think if I had such a wise man to guide me when I was younger, I would be much better off than I am now.
A lot of ups and downs in my life almost all come from lack of cognition, so on the one hand, I recorded it to warn myself, and on the other hand, it is also to let people with heart and fate see it, and not to repeat some unnecessary ups and downs in life.
Experiencing the ups and downs of life is sometimes an experience, but more often it is a waste of life, because human life is limited, and every minute should be spent on valuable people and things.
1. Teach Minglan how to do things.
The night before Minglan got married, her grandmother whispered to Minglan and confessed to the marriage.
Grandmother: Do you remember what your grandmother taught you?
Minglan : Employ people and trust them, and check them from time to time. No matter how honest a slave is, there must be a competent man to supervise him. As the days go by, it is inevitable to have other hearts, but you should not be overly suspicious and chill people's hearts.
This is the profound insight that grandmother taught Minglan how to manage people and handle interpersonal relationships.
"Employing people and trusting" emphasizes the importance of trust in interpersonal relationships.
Trust is the foundation of a good working relationship when employing people. Only when the master has full trust in the subordinates, the subordinates will be more motivated and responsible to complete the task. This relationship of trust contributes to the formation of a harmonious working atmosphere and improves work efficiency.
However, trust alone is not enough, and "frequent checks" are also necessary.
This means that even if we have trust in someone, we can't just let it go. Through regular inspections and assessments, it is possible to ensure that the work proceeds smoothly, while at the same time, problems can be identified and corrected in a timely manner.
"No matter how honest a slave is, there must be a competent person to supervise it" further emphasizes the importance of supervision.
No matter how honest and reliable a person is, there needs to be a proper regulatory mechanism in place to ensure the quality and efficiency of the work. Supervision is not only a constraint on subordinates, but also a kind of support and guidance for their work.
But regulation doesn't mean endless suspicion. "Over time, it's inevitable to have another heart" reminds us that people's mindsets and ideas can change over time.
This is a normal manifestation of human nature, and we need to be prepared for it.
However, this does not mean that we should be overly suspicious and suspicious of our subordinates. Excessive suspicion can undermine trusting relationships, lead to tensions in the workplace, and may even inspire rebellion among subordinates.
Therefore, "but we should not be overly suspicious and chill people's hearts" admonishes us to maintain appropriate sensitivity and rationality when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
We should learn to distinguish the balance between trust and supervision, both to give enough trust and support to our subordinates, and to ensure that the work runs smoothly. At the same time, we must also avoid hurting the feelings and enthusiasm of our subordinates due to excessive suspicion.
The concept that her grandmother taught to Minglan is not only applicable to the management of slaves in ancient times, but also to all kinds of interpersonal relations and management work in modern society.
Second, remind Minglan what to do after marriage.
When Minglan returned to the door after marriage, her grandmother saw that she was chatting and eating, but in fact, she was also reminding Minglan what to do in the future and how to live a good life.
Grandmother: Then let me ask, who is in charge of affairs in your house now?
Minglan: I haven't inquired yet.
Grandmother: The house and the garden house are good? I heard that it used to be the house of the former emperor's ministers, and it has been deserted for almost ten years, does it need to be repaired?
Minglan: I don't know about the repair.
In this passage, it is not difficult for us to see the grandmother's concern and worry about Minglan's married life.
She asked who was in charge of the mansion to find out Minglan her status and role in the mansion, and whether she would be able to adapt to her new living environment.
She asked if the house and garden were in good condition and whether they needed to be repaired, which was also a concern for Minglan's living conditions.
Grandmother asked this because she wanted Minglan to take the initiative to understand the situation in her house, including the personnel structure, management status, and living environment.
She hopes that Minglan will be able to adapt to the new environment as soon as possible and find her place in it.
Her grandmother's question also reminded Minglan that as a newly married woman in the house, she needs to pay attention to various affairs in the house, including household management, personnel deployment, and house repairs.
This is not only a requirement for her as the hostess of the house, but also an expectation of her as a mature woman.
At the same time, grandmother is also reminding Minglan to stay vigilant and sharp, and always pay attention to the dynamics of the house, so as to better deal with various situations that may arise.
Grandmother hopes that Minglan can grow quickly in her new environment and become a capable and intelligent woman.
Grandmother: What is the current production in your house?
The grandmother asks Minglan about the status of the property, which shows that she attaches great importance to the financial management of the family.
In ancient times, fixed property usually referred to the fixed property of the family or house, including land, real estate, gold and silver, etc., which was an important indicator of the economic strength of a family or family.
This way of asking is to hope that Minglan will pay attention to the economy in the family.
Grandmother: Your uncle is an unruly person, and he hates being restrained the most in his life, but you must not force a man with such a temperament.
The grandmother described the character of Minglan husband, analyzing that he was an independent person who did not like to be controlled.
Therefore, she reminded Minglan that when dealing with her husband, she should not adopt a tough attitude or approach, but should respect his personality and choices and avoid conflicts.
The detailed interpretation of this passage is as follows:
"Your uncle is an unruly man": "Unruly" is an adjective phrase used to describe a person who is stubborn and unwilling to accept the opinions or control of others. Grandmother used this word to describe her uncle, indicating that she thought that her uncle was a person who had his own opinions and was not easily swayed by others.
"I hate being constrained by others the most in my life": "Constrained" means being held back or hindered by others. The grandmother said that my uncle "hated being constrained the most in my life", further emphasizing my uncle's dislike of being controlled or interfered with by others.
"You must not be tough with a man of this temperament": Grandmother advises people who are stubborn and don't like to be controlled, and it is usually not a good strategy to confront them directly and forcefully or try to change their behavior.
She suggested that when dealing with such people, direct conflict should be avoided and a more gentle, understanding or consultative approach should be adopted.
Grandmother: 他虽护着你,可你也不能过分依赖。
The grandmother first affirmed Minglan's husband's protection of her, but at the same time reminded her not to rely too much on her husband.
She is reminding Minglan that she should maintain a certain degree of independence and autonomy and not rely entirely on men, so that she can maintain her dignity and worth in life.
As women, we have to be able to hold ourselves up after all.
My grandmother emphasized the importance of women's independence, believing that women should be able to support themselves in their own lives. This is not only economic independence, but also spiritual independence and autonomy.
First, you must have money in your hands, and second, you must have henchmen around you. Only then can you live a comfortable life.
The grandmother put forward two important conditions for a woman to live independently: financial independence and having a trusted friend or assistant.
Having money in hand means that women have enough financial autonomy and security, while having henchmen around them means being socially and emotionally supportive and dependent.
Together, these two conditions form the basis for women to live independently and freely.
Judging from the few things he did, he is a man who does not rub sand in his eyes, what do you do, you must tell him clearly, don't hide the tucked pretend to be virtuous, in that way, your husband and wife will be estranged.
By observing Gu Tingye's behavior, my grandmother thought that he was a straightforward person who did not like to be deceived.
Therefore, she reminded Minglan that when getting along with her husband, she should be honest with each other, not hide her true thoughts and feelings, and avoid estrangement between husband and wife by pretending to be virtuous.
This is teaching Minglan how to get along with husband and wife.
My grandmother had an unhappy marriage all her life, and her only son was killed at an early age, and she must have spent countless days and nights thinking about how a woman should live this life.
These suggestions for Minglan are the essence of her life experience, and every sentence is worth pondering.
I am a creator in the emotional field, I like to study marriage and love, gender relations, hate moral preaching, like to dig into the root of things to solve and analyze problems, if you like it, welcome to follow me.
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