Many children will not take the initiative to tell their parents when they are bullied at school.
On the one hand, they are threatened by the bully, and they are afraid that the bully will really do what they say, bringing them unbearable consequences.
On the other hand, they don't want to cause trouble to their parents, or they are worried that their parents will blame them for being cowardly and incompetent.
The bully itself will constantly brainwash the child into believing that it is their own fault that they are being bullied, thus reducing the possibility of the bullied person seeking help from parents and teachers.
Therefore, it is particularly important for parents to be able to see the subtleties and take the initiative to identify whether their children are being bullied.
It is only with the continuous encouragement of their parents that many children dare to tell the truth little by little and uncover their painful memories of being bullied.
If parents can take the initiative to find out that their children are being bullied, it is possible to save their children from fire and water and avoid greater tragedies.
The sample mother summarized 6 suggestive clues that children may be bullied.
In daily life, parents should also develop the habit of communicating more with their children and paying attention to their children's feelings, only in this way can children dare to ask their parents for help when they are hurt.
1. The child suddenly gets tired of school
Parents must pay attention to their children who suddenly say that they don't want to go to school, or make excuses that they are not feeling well and want to stay at home.
Don't instinctively think that your child is lazy and doesn't want to learn.
For a normal child, even if he doesn't like to study and doesn't like to listen to classes, as long as he gets along well with his classmates and teachers, he will not refuse to go to school.
Especially for children in the upper grades of elementary school and junior high school and high school, going to school has long become commonplace, just like adults have to go to work.
Parents must distinguish between children who shout that they hate going to school and who really find a way to avoid going to school.
2. Request Parents
For middle and high school children, it should be a humiliating and embarrassing thing to let their parents pick them up and drop off from school.
Children at this age will desperately want to be independent in order to prove that they have grown up. They like to be around their peers and don't want to be cared for by their parents anymore like they were when they were children.
If the child exhibits any regressive behaviour during this period, such as making excuses for parents to pick him up, and his dependence on his parents increases, it is a sign that he may be in trouble at school.
He was even bullied at school and wanted to seek protection from his parents.
3. Clothes are stained
There are two common forms of school bullying, one is physical aggression, such as being pushed, tripped, stools removed, beaten, etc.
The other is the invasion of property, such as being taken away by classmates, throwing away books, stepping on dirty homework, destroying important things, etc.
Both forms of bullying leave traces, such as:
- The child was injured for no reason, but told you that he accidentally fell;
- Clothes and school bags become very dirty and even damaged;
- Frequently things are lost or damaged.
In this case, parents must not listen to their children's words. Be patient to understand what happened, the cause of the injury, etc.
Only with enough patience and care from parents can children feel comfortable telling you the truth.
4. Ask your parents for money, or even steal money
In addition to destroying finances, extorting money is also a common form of bullying.
Some bullies will often collect "protection money" from the bullied person, and if the bullied person obediently pays the money, the bully will let them go, so as to avoid the pain of flesh and skin.
As a result, children who are bullied have a strong need for money. If their pocket money doesn't satisfy the bully, they will lie to their parents that the school will pay various fees.
If that wasn't enough, they would secretly take the family's money.
If you notice that your child is frequently asking you for money or that you are running low on your family's belongings, don't be quick to criticize your child. Talk calmly to your child and figure out why he needs so much money.
If all the money is given to the bully, parents must intervene in time to protect their children.
5. The results fell off a cliff
Children who are bullied are under a lot of mental stress and live in fear every day.
If they endure all this in silence and do not complain to their parents for help, the great pain and pressure will be reflected in their academic performance.
When parents find that their children's grades are not ordinary fluctuations, or sharp declines, and the child is not as lively and energetic as before, they must understand the reasons in time.
Parents should believe that their children have self-esteem and want to do well in exams. No one's grades will drop for no reason.
Parents should not think about it and attribute the decline in grades to the child's lack of effort and lack of competition. It is more important to identify the factors that prevent your child from learning well.
6. Sullen and often have nightmares
Children who are bullied are under constant stress and become nervous, anxious, and frightened. Some children also have nightmares.
Parents must pay special attention to this, once the child's mood remains low for a long time, nightmares often occur, and something bad must have happened to the child.
Parents should be cautious and ask their children carefully to show your concern and support. Don't take chances and think that bullying won't happen to your child.
If your attitude is indifferent and understated, where does the child have the courage to ask you for help?
Finally, I hope that there will be fewer incidents of bullying in schools, and more children can have a healthy and happy childhood.
I am a sample mother, welcome to follow me and bring a baby with me with high quality.
Fudan master's degree, early education instructor, family education instructor, psychological counselor, author of "Understanding Psychology, Parenting is Simple".
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