"45岁,我从国企辞职,考入全美top10"

According to data from the Ministry of Education, from the reform and opening up to the end of 2021,

The total number of mainland students studying abroad is about 8 million,

660,000 in FY2021,

The vast majority of them are young people of school-age age.

And share your study abroad life on social platforms,

And some retirees,

At the age of half a hundred, they decided to study abroad and restart their lives.

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Three retired women, who went to study in Italy, Thailand and the United States, have an average age of 50

A conversation with three people

Retirees who decide to study abroad around the age of 50,

All three happen to be women.

They may be determined to retire due to long-term high-pressure work.

or in the event of a workplace crisis, take the initiative to retire and change tracks,

There are also people who are free by nature, and when the children grow up,

Bravely pursue the artistic dreams of your youth.

Most of their tuition fees are covered by their savings.

There are also people who sell their houses to study abroad,

or work and study part-time, while conducting international business,

Cover living expenses.

Studying abroad is no easier than working,

But they cherish this rare learning opportunity even more.

Let's look at these women,

How to restart the second half of life.

Editor: Zhang Ruijia

Editor-in-charge: Chen Ziwen

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At the age of 48, Ms. Dong graduated from Northwestern University

Source: Xiaohongshu and Weibo account @ Marriage and Family Therapist Miss Dong

Miss Dong, 50 years old, has studied in the United States for 4 years and holds a master's degree in marriage and family therapy

I used to work in a financial state-owned enterprise, achieved a middle and high-level position, lived a 9-to-5 life, the economy was relatively stable, the circle of friends was relatively fixed, and the social status was relatively decent. I have an aunt at home, and I don't have to do housework, so I have a good life.

When I was 45 years old, I had a midlife crisis in my workplace, and because of the change in the company's organizational structure, I was demoted and my salary was reduced. At that time, I was so angry that I wanted to quit and walk away. But I'm a middle-aged woman, how can I find a job when I go out? I persuaded myself to stay up for another five years, and then do whatever I want to do when I retire.

It was around this time that I reconnected with a college best friend. I learned that she married in the United States and has been a stay-at-home mother for so many years, until two years ago, when both children were admitted to college, and she also decided to continue her studies and pursue her dream of being a lawyer. When we got in touch, she had already been admitted to a university on a full scholarship and was studying for a Juris Doctorate.

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Ms. Dong, who used to work in a state-owned enterprise

I was impressed. I think that people still have to do what they want to do the most once in their lives. Instead of spending another 5 years in the muddy mood until retirement, why not take this opportunity to pursue my long-held dream in life?

Since I was young, I had two majors that I wanted to study, advertising creativity and psychotherapy, but for various reasons, I have not been able to achieve them. At the age of 45, with a certain amount of life experience, it is the ideal time to do psychological counseling.

By chance, I learned that there is a subdivision of the profession of psychological counseling called marriage and family therapist. This industry is still immature in China, and there are no universities that offer such graduate programs, so I decided to apply for a master's program in "marriage and family therapy" in the United States and then return to China to practice.

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Ms. Dong's resignation letter at that time

I shared my thoughts with my husband and daughter, and they were very supportive. My husband and I have been working hard in Shanghai for decades and saved up two apartments, and the small house was originally intended to be left to our daughter, and the whole family agreed to sell it for me to study abroad.

After deciding to study abroad, I stopped all recreational activities and concentrated on studying, taking the TOEFL and GRE, preparing for the application, and I was lucky enough to apply to Northwestern University, which is ranked among the top 10 universities in the United States.

In the process of preparation, my work changed again, and I actually saw the prospects, but I still gave up. On the afternoon of the day I got my visa, I offered my resignation. I came to the U.S. in September 2019 and haven't been back yet.

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Miss Dong (far left) and her classmates

When I first started, my English was the worst in my class, with at least 200-300 pages of reading material per week and 500 hours of therapy to complete before I graduated.

It's hard, but I've never regretted it, but I'm excited because I'm finally doing what I love. By the second year, I had a 3.9 GPA.

Because I studied psychology, I got to know myself again. I used to be a serious people-pleaser, basing my personal worth on the affirmation of me. Now it's based on my own affirmation of myself, and I'm slowly turning it around little by little.

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Ms. Dong's supervisor also sold the department store that had been in business for many years in her 40s and switched to marriage and family therapy

For example, when I first came to the United States to study, I wrote an email to the boss of our program, and she didn't reply to me for about 24 hours. I was very anxious at the time, and my mind was full of wonders if she didn't like me and had an opinion about me. Now if the same scenario happens again, I will tell myself that it has nothing to do with me, so I don't have to be so anxious.

When I used to work in China, I saw a colleague in the hallway, and if he didn't greet me, I immediately wondered, did he have an opinion about me? Now I think, maybe he didn't see me, maybe he was short-sighted, maybe he really didn't like me, so what? I don't have to make everyone like me.

I also sorted out a lot of problems in my marriage. Every time I learn important knowledge in class, I will immediately video talk to my husband, "This theory is about us!" Although my husband and I are in a different place, our relationship now is better than when I was in China.

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Ms. Dong's Psychological Clinic

After graduating in the summer of 2021, I went to work in a private practice. At the beginning of the work, I was so anxious that I couldn't do it, and the drop-off rate of visits was relatively high, even if I came a few times and then stopped coming.

In the past two years, while working and studying, I have become more and more handy at work, and I have also formed my own style, and I will receive 15~20 visits every week. All of them are old and beautiful partners. Seeing that they solved their marital problems with my help and became happier and happier, I felt a sense of accomplishment.

This year, I got an offer from Northwestern University's psychotherapy clinic, and I'm about to join the company. For example, it is like a foreigner who becomes a full-time psychological counselor at 985 University in China, serving all kinds of Chinese visitors in Chinese.

I also went through the retirement procedures in China, and while receiving a pension, I was preparing for the full license exam for marriage and family therapists in the United States, and when I officially got the license, I could return to China to practice.

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Miss Dong likes to play billiards and has joined the American Billiards Association

Life in the U.S. is pure, people here are focused on their lives, and there's nothing like coming and going. In addition to work, I insist on walking 10,000 brisk steps every day, reading a book for an hour, and occasionally partying with my little sisters and playing billiards.

Consumption habits have also changed, I used to live in Shanghai, and I was a bit of a famous brand. Now the brand hasn't moved for a long time, and the most important thing is to be comfortable. But my friends in the United States said that at first I gave them the impression of "aunt", but now they have become younger.

In fact, the age of 50 is a young person in the United States, because the United States retires at the age of 67 and has a long career. My plan is to work until I am 70 years old, but I don't have to work as hard as I did when I was younger.

Looking back now, I'm actually thankful for that job change five years ago, otherwise I might never have taken that step.

I shared my experience online and got a lot of compliments from young people. I would like to encourage everyone: sisters, life is long, and it is never too late to start doing what you love.

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In 2022, Yang Yang was in Prague, Czech Republic, and she enjoyed traveling alone

Source: Xiaohongshu account @Fomei primary school students

Yang Yang, 49 years old, studied in Italy for 4 years, master's degree in oil painting/illustration/landscape design

Three years ago, I had the idea of studying abroad, my hometown is Inner Mongolia, my parents have never been out of the grassland in their lives, they did not support me to study abroad at that time, but my son turned to me and said: Mom, life is your own, you can do what you want. He said life goes fast, to do what you love.

I studied bridge engineering in college. After graduating from college in 1999, the package was assigned, and I went to the construction company, our unit is next door to the Xi'an Academy of Fine Arts, and I can see the art students coming in and out every day, so stylish, I ran over and asked if I could learn adult classes, I took the adult college entrance examination and went in to learn oil painting, and since then I have planted the seeds of art in my heart.

But the learning process was not as good as I imagined, because they were Loess paintings, and I liked the flowery, like Van Gogh Monet's painting style, so I left.

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At the beginning of 2024, Sheep Sheep in Egypt

My son was born in 2003 and is now in college in California, USA, and he is very sunny, and I rely on him when I am in a bad mood. At that time, I accompanied him to prepare to study abroad, learn English, and also took IELTS, and scored 7 at that time, which made me realize that I am capable of going abroad.

But there is a problem: the family's money is only enough for his son to go to school in North America alone. I was thinking about a country with lower tuition fees, and the agent showed me a few art schools at that time, and I remembered that Leonardo da Vinci was studying at the Academy of Fine Arts in Florence, so I would go and be an alumnus with him.

I'm not a sacrificial mom, I don't know how to cook, and I've never thought about accompanying school. I want to study art, he wants to study science, science, computer, and we won't be in one city or one country after all. Most of the time I make my own decisions, and I just do my own thing. What if I say I don't like to cook for my daughter-in-law in the future? He said no problem, I'll do it, and there's another possibility that I'm not married. I said great.

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In 2022, two hours after the interview, Yang Yang received an offer from a graduate student: "At the age of forty, I am really happy, I have no friends to share, and I am happy alone for a while." ”

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Sketches of sheep and sheep

Now in my fourth year of master's degree, I haven't been working because I really like to draw, and I was the hardest working student in my class at school, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., the models served me all day, and sometimes the professor and the model got angry (laughs) and felt that the classroom was empty and had to accompany me.

It's easy to say now, but it's been really not easy in the past four years. When I went to school, I slept almost only 4 hours a day. Because the size of the oil painting is very large, I drew more than 20 paintings that are 4 meters long and 2 meters high, and it takes more than 20 days to draw one of them, not including more than 100 illustrations drawn by the computer, as well as countless designs that were passed by the old professor.

I fell down the ladder several times, my wrist was broken, my thumb was swollen to the size of three fingers, the professor gave me a deadline, I knelt on the ground and cried many times, I thought I might not be able to finish drawing, I cried urgently, I was afraid that the professor would not let me continue to study, because I love to draw too much.

I was a slow learner sometimes, but I never found it difficult to go to school, I just thought it was fun to learn, including now that I'm in Egypt and enrolled in an Arabic course.

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In the summer of 2022, Yang Yang was in Italy: "Being secretly photographed on the road proves that I look good in the eyes of some people in Italy." ”

I'm a very independent person, and I don't rely on anyone financially. When I was in my 30s, when I was separated from my child's father, I put down my bank card and car keys, hugged my son and left, and I only had 400 yuan in cash in my pocket at that time.

There was no other income, but I had to survive. At that time, I had already gone to Xi'an Academy of Fine Arts to study oil painting, and I began to take children to paint, from one or two to more than forty. I also illustrate for publishing houses, and I only earn two dollars for a painting, but I can earn seven or eight thousand a month, and I don't feel hard.

In fact, if I was thick-skinned, I could have reached home and asked my parents for it, but I never asked for a penny, and I always worked and went to school to earn my own money. Now, I usually teach English to children online, teach painting, and my biggest business is selling red wine, I live in Tuscany, Italy, where the most beautiful scenery and the best red wine are drunk, I send a container of red wine to China every year, and my family helped me open a small shop.

Strictly speaking, I saved money for my son's school with my child's father, and thanks to our construction work, we bought some real estate when we were young. Now the child can have no worries about food and clothing, and he will have his own confidence to return to China in the future, but these are left to my son, and I haven't touched a penny.

My friend said that you can marry a rich man, and the pressure can be less, including now there are professors waiting for me at the door of the classroom every day with flowers, and the street from my house to the school will be asked for a phone call, maybe Italians are so enthusiastic (laughs). But if you stay with someone you don't like for money, every day will be difficult, and every breath will be suffocating. If I work on my own, every day of my life is what I like.

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In the summer of 2023, Yang Yang in Cairo, Egypt

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This past New Year, Yang Yang went to Egypt alone

I'm also a really casual person. Last year, on Women's Day, I had the idea to visit the pyramids, so I'm in Egypt now. Next week I will go to the Sahara Desert to see the moon, the moonlight in the desert is sprinkled on the sand, like water, the stars are the size of my palm, I just want to go, it is so beautiful.

When I was with young people, they thought I was only 3 years old (laughs), but I seemed to be living a good life and I was satisfied with everything. Don't worry about tomorrow either.

I'm graduating soon, and I'm going to change my student residence card to a work residence card, and I'm going to open a small travel company in Egypt, and then where will I be? I don't have a clear idea, maybe I will stay in Egypt for a month, return to China for a month, and then plan where to go in the next phase.

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In 2023, Wang Xue's graduation photo in Thailand

Source: Xiaohongshu account @ Falling Flowers Cook Rain

Wang Xue, 52 years old, studied in Thailand for 6 years, bachelor's degree in accounting + master's degree in environmental science

I have been working in the IT industry for more than 20 years, all the way up to the position of Director of Operations, and at the same time I have suffered from an occupational disease. When I was 46 years old, I had an operation, and I felt like I was hollowed out, like a snail, crawling slowly every day, but the shell on my back was getting heavier and heavier.

After I retired, I went to Thailand to study abroad, and I felt that I had changed from a snail to a bee, although I was also busy, but I flew among the flowers every day, collecting nectar, and tasting sweetness.

I graduated from junior college in 1995, and after graduation, I went to take the college entrance examination and got a bachelor's degree from Peking University. In the past, when I was in school, my family conditions were not good, and I didn't have the money to study abroad, but I always had this idea in my heart. Later, I finally climbed all the way up in the company, and with a certain position and income, it was difficult to make the decision to quit my job and study abroad, and this operation gave me an opportunity.

When I resigned, my boss said that the company was also trying to develop the Thai market, and I thought I could go over and be a contact, so I started to tutor English, and the application was successfully approved.

The tuition fee plus living expenses in Thailand are about 100,000 yuan per year, and a total of 600,000 yuan will be spent for 6 years. From an economic point of view, studying abroad must be within your means. If you don't have the savings, take out a loan, or use the pension money to study abroad, then I won't approve of it. Be budget-friendly and do what you can. Whether it is studying abroad or studying abroad, everyone's conditions and circumstances are different, and they cannot be generalized.

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Climb to the top of Thailand's highest mountain with Thai friends

In 2017, I started my 4-year bachelor's and 2-year master's life in Thailand.

In my first year in Thailand, I found a Thai language school because I thought that in order to quickly integrate into the local area, you must first understand the local customs, and then you must know the local language.

The learning process is really good, but at first I still felt a little guilty, because after all, I left my family and business to go abroad, although my husband supported me, but my parents felt that it was inconvenient to come and go, and I always felt that I missed it very much after not seeing him for a long time. However, the students in the class come from different countries, most of them are European students, most of them are in their forties and fifties, and some of them retired and retired in Thailand. Europeans like to eat and drink, sit in bars and make friends in the evenings.

At first, I wanted to go to a master's degree, but the master's degree was two years, which meant that as soon as I got used to the environment, I was about to leave, and I didn't think it was worth it, so I decided to study for another 4 years of bachelor's degree.

I was a science student majoring in financial management in college. In the first semester, I chose international business management, which is an interdisciplinary major, and I thought that I might be able to find a part-time job at an international company in the future. But then I found out that there was a lot of theoretical knowledge in this major, and I had to write all kinds of review articles, so I was not good at language in the first place, and it was very painful to learn.

In the second semester, I firmly switched to accounting, and my studies quickly became more comfortable. In class, sometimes I couldn't understand the English spoken by the teacher, but I could understand the calculation formula at a glance, so I found the joy of learning again. During that time, I was always number one in the school year (laughs), and I was always the favorite speaker in my class.

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In November 2023, Wang Xue at the graduation ceremony

After graduating with a bachelor's degree, my husband encouraged me to continue my master's degree. I wanted to go to another country and received an offer from the University of Surrey in the UK. But because of the pandemic, I finally chose to stay at Chulalongkorn University in Thailand, majoring in environment and sustainable development, which is unpopular, but I think it is a very promising major.

What is the purpose of my study abroad? I thought very clearly before I went to study abroad, not for fame and fortune, nor for supporting my family, because I may not be able to find a better job after studying, and the cost of studying abroad may not be recovered—I just want to fulfill this dream that has been hidden in my heart for a long time, and I hope that my retirement life will be more meaningful, and I believe that these beautiful experiences and memories cannot be bought with money.

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In 2019, Wang Xue was exchanged in Spain

In the process of studying, I found that the school has the opportunity to apply for two exchange programs in other countries. So at the beginning of 2019, I applied to go to Spain as an exchange student. I love ordering a beer at the bar on the street, watching the people on the street, chatting with them once in a while, and getting a taste of local life.

During my six months in Spain, I took 3 courses, half of which I spent studying and the other half traveling. I made a travel plan to visit almost all the places of interest in Spain and neighbouring Portugal and the small country of Andorra. To this day, I often recall those scenes, and I want to record them and bring them out again when I was seventy or eighty years old and could not travel far and had to sit in a rocking chair.

At the end of 2022, I will return to China after the master's defense, and I will take my parents to live in Thailand for a while. It is precisely because of the health of my parents that I have the opportunity to fulfill my dream of studying abroad. Now that they need my company, I have to stop and take good care of them so that they can live out their old age in peace.

There are many prerequisites for retirement and study, and every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, such as what to do with the elderly, what to do with the children, what to do with the lover? Many things can only be done to obey the destiny of God, and I will do my best to do it, but what to do is not something that one person can decide.