Hello everyone, I'm Daddy~
As the old saying goes: kiss to kiss, kiss to kiss, break bones and tendons.
But I don't know if you have noticed it, more and more young generations seem to have drawn a dividing line in front of them, and the distance between them and their relatives is getting farther and farther away, and there are fewer and fewer intersections.
As a result, a hot topic appeared on the Internet: why did the younger generation gradually become a "broken family"?
This group of people is mainly born in the 90s and 00s, mainly because they don't go to their relatives during the New Year's holidays, they don't usually go back and forth with their relatives, and they don't even have the contact information of their relatives.
The older generation doesn't understand that family affection is based on blood and is the most valuable wealth in life, so why are they lazy and negligent in managing it when it comes to the younger generation?
01. The younger generation of "severed relatives".
In fact, behind the "severance of relatives" that the older generation does not understand, there are more or less helplessness of young people, as well as a comprehensive consideration of real life.
For example, I have a friend who has been "severed", in addition to maintaining close contact with her immediate family, she has no contact with the rest of her cousins and cousins. Even during the New Year's holidays, she is afraid to avoid it.
Friends said that when she was a child, she especially liked to go to relatives, especially during the New Year's holidays, every time a large number of people went out, at that time the traffic was inconvenient, and it often snowed during the New Year.
But since she worked, those good memories were slowly replaced by helplessness and irritability.
Friends said that she studied nursing in college, and after graduation, she worked as a nurse in a local hospital in her hometown.
Sometimes she was asked to help find a better ward, and sometimes she was asked to help find a better doctor to see her.
What's even more infuriating is that once the child of her aunt's family had a small minimally invasive surgery, her aunt actually found her, hoping to let her find a relationship and let the director of the department of the hospital take charge of the surgery, but she felt that this matter was beyond her ability, so she politely refused, and she didn't think that her aunt would damage her for a while in the family group.
Since this incident, she has withdrawn from the family group in a fit of rage, and the contact information of those relatives has also been blocked and deleted.
At this moment, I feel that the whole world is a lot cleaner.
In fact, this kind of "severance" like a friend has slowly become a norm for young people.
There was a previous survey report on 1,200 people of different ages to analyze the proportion of disconnection.
The results found that young people under the age of 18 basically do not contact relatives, people aged 18-30 have occasional contact with relatives, only 30% of people in the 30-40-year-old group have frequent contact with relatives, and over 40 years old, more than half of people will often contact relatives.
Through this research report, we can find that the younger the age, the more common the phenomenon of severance becomes, that is, severance is no longer a particularly singular phenomenon, but has gradually become a social norm.
02. What are the practical reasons behind the breakup?
Du Sujuan, a professor of literature at East China University of Political Science and Law, talked about the "phenomenon of severing relatives" in a talk show. She said:
It's not that young people hate relatives and friends, but that they hate the bad "traditions" behind relatives and friends.
To put it simply, the post-95s and post-00s generations are not a specific person who wants to draw a line with them, but traditional culture and concepts, such as the following points.
(1) Unequal communication environment
In fact, during the New Year's holidays, we can find that children of the same age can still play together, after all, there are many common topics between them, and what makes the younger generation unwilling to get along is generally the elders with an age gap.
The reason why this is the case has a lot to do with traditional culture and the concept of parenting, after all, China is a country of etiquette, and we pay attention to "respect and inferiority".
It is precisely because of this that from the very beginning, the conditions and environment for equal communication between the elders and the younger generations have been lost.
Because the elders have an advantage in age, the younger generation for them is nothing more than asking about work, study, marriage, and childbirth, and these are things that the younger generation does not want to mention, after all, in this highly competitive modern society, it is not easy to mix and learn to be among the best.
Therefore, these questions raised by the elders are tantamount to sprinkling another handful of salt on the wounds of the younger generation.
As a young person, although I feel uncomfortable, I am an elder after all, and I am embarrassed to express my dissatisfaction and thoughts bluntly, so in the end, I can only choose to be silent and refuse to communicate.
(2) There is a tendency to compare relatives
There is a question on the Internet: Why did I feel that my relatives came and went frequently when I was a child, and everyone helped each other, which was very warm, but now why is it becoming more and more divided?
There is a highly praised answer at the bottom: Everyone used to be almost poor, but now everyone is rich.
I think so.
In the past, there was not much difference in everyone's living conditions, so it was often one party in trouble, and relatives supported each other, so they would establish a very deep relationship with each other.
However, with the development of the times, some people may become wealthy through various channels, while others will also stagnate due to various family situations.
As a result, there is a difference between the two sides in terms of wealth and social status.
And this difference slowly evolves, it will become inferiority, jealousy, comparison, etc., and from the perspective of psychological research, the more familiar people are, the more likely to produce these contrasts.
In this way, what should be a family feast of reunion and beauty will give rise to many expressions and details that make everyone feel disgusted.
For example, relatives with status can often sit on the upper seat and be respected and admired by other relatives and friends, while relatives with poor status often have no right to speak and will even be ignored.
For another example, children with good academic performance are often used as models and role models, while those who study poorly can only be forced to accept criticism and complaints after comparison.
So over time, this kind of floating and looming "comparison heart" has diluted the young generation's beautiful expectations for family affection, and they don't want to play on the scene anymore and become dispensable.
(3) Change of concept of life
In the past, because everyone lived a relatively poor life, they paid great attention to the family concept, as long as a family united, helped each other, and advanced and retreated together, there was no flame mountain that could not be passed.
But now, with the development of the times and the progress of thought, everyone's concept of life has also undergone earth-shaking changes, the previous concept of big family has been weakened, the importance of relatives has gradually weakened, and the concept of small family life has risen rapidly.
In addition, with the popularization of compulsory education, many young people not only have good insight and cognitive ability, but also their own problem-solving ability has also improved a lot.
Therefore, under the impact of a series of reasons, the severance of relatives seems to have become an event that we must accept. And this is not to say that the younger generation has become indifferent and selfish, but a result of the development of the times.
In fact, for the younger generation of "severed relatives", they often have an extraordinary freedom and purity when looking at things, and these are exactly the qualities needed in this era.
After all, compared to those false and wronged family affections, as well as the sophistication of people who play on the spot, it is better to leave time and energy to the most important people around you.
Perhaps, this is the true meaning of life.
Finally, I would like to ask you: Do you think the phenomenon of the younger generation breaking off their relatives is a good thing or a bad thing?