My daughter goes to school in Africa: instead of cultivating a vulnerable generation, it is better to raise her to become a "top player"
What to watch When we talk about education, we always focus on the clichés of Europe and the United States, but the world is so big, and there are different things that the horizon has never reached. The mother in this article has lived in South Africa for 20 years, and she has allowed her daughter to spend a happy and resilient childhood on African soil with a "coarse grain" style of parenting. In her opinion, the core of letting children become "top players" in life is a body that can be used freely, and a strong and strong heart......
Text丨Kochagin ed.丨Leon
Spring Festival holiday
Zhou Yijun's documentary "Childhood in a Foreign Country" has sparked heated discussions in the past few years. If you want to have a sequel, the Bund proposes that it is better to use one episode to pat Africa.
Someone immediately asked, what is there to shoot in such a "backward" place in Africa?
It's really not a whim to have this idea. Not long ago, the Bund met Jessica, a mother who has lived in South Africa for 20 years.
Jessica's personality is full of northerners' straightforwardness, and when she dialed her phone, the voice of dumplings came from across the ocean: "Let's talk casually, I'll continue to wrap." The conversation box opened, and the educational anecdotes of South Africa were one after another, full of pictures.
Jessica and her husband are from Hohhot, and they both got acquainted with South Africa when they were young because of their studies and work. The crystallization of their love, their daughter "Maize" was born and went to school in South Africa. For Jessica, South Africa is like a second home.
corn
When the 6-year-old little corn is "quiet as a virgin", she is a cute baby with bangs, a round face and big eyes; of course, most of the time her state is "moving like a rabbit":
A few meters high trees climb up, like to hang themselves on the tree, eat sandwiches, drink afternoon tea, and watch the scenery;
There are hanging bars everywhere in the park, and corn can be climbed from left to right with ease and left and right hand alternation;
Make friends with animals of all sizes in Africa......
While many parents are worried about where to take their children on the weekend, Little Corn's childhood used the whole of South Africa as a "pasture", in the company of sweat, soil and wild animals, to thrive and nourish the soul.
Education in Africa can really be described as "vigorous", which is diametrically opposed to today's increasingly refined parenting model.
However, this kind of parenting did not come out of nowhere. Jessica admits that she actually grew up under the traditional education system in China, and many of today's concepts and practices are half "following the local customs" after arriving in South Africa, and half learning with her children after becoming a parent, and her cognition is gradually improved and changed.
Nowadays, Chinese people are spread to all corners of the world - the scenes of education may be diverse, but the principles behind them are very similar. Let's listen to the experience of this small Chinese family living in South Africa.
*For ease of reading, the text is written from the first-person perspective of Jessica's mother.
South Africa is not bad, but polarized
I came to South Africa in 2003, after graduating from high school. The reason is that there are relatives in the family who do business in South Africa and say that it is not bad.
At that time, I had already finished the college entrance examination, and I did okay, but I was young, and I thought that I would go outside when I had the chance, so I decided to come to South Africa.
After arriving, I attended a language school for a year and then went to university in Pretoria. Now it is settled in Johannesburg, the largest city in South Africa.
The cities of Bito and Joburg are so connected that there is no dividing line. (Unlike other countries, South Africa has three capitals based on the separation of powers.) The administrative capital is Bito, the legislative capital is Cape Town, and the judicial capital is Bloemfontein. ）
Take a picture of the scenery on the road
When I first came to South Africa, I felt that it was really developed. Since then, South Africa has been going downhill, but the so-called emaciated camel is bigger than a horse, its foundation is good, the urban infrastructure is still there, such as roads, medical care, education, and so on, in fact, all of them are okay; public security is not so good, but people who have lived here for a long time know where they can and cannot go, and they should not show their wealth when they go out.
There are many Chinese-funded enterprises in South Africa, such as OPPO, Vivo, Sinosteel, Bank of China, CCB, etc...... There are also many Chinese people who come to do business and open shops.
My husband and I work for a Chinese-funded company in South Africa, and we are currently working in stable jobs and are used to life in South Africa, so we have no plans to leave for the time being. As for where the corn wants to go when it grows up in the future, we'll see when the time comes.
It is precisely because of the stable work and income that there is actually no problem with our life here - South Africa is a very polarized country today. The gap between poverty and affluence is huge, separating health, education, life, and cognition.
For example, private schools in South Africa depend on the family's health insurance. What does it mean, if you usually use free public medical care, you are not even eligible to apply.
People who are a little better off financially will send their children to private schools. Most of the Chinese families who come to South Africa do not have their children go to public schools.
South Africa every year in October
South Africa's currency is now depreciating. When I first arrived, I thought everything was more expensive than in China. At present, the price of private kindergartens is about 40,000 to 50,000 yuan a year, and the price of private primary and secondary schools is more than 100,000 yuan a year, which is actually lower than that of first-tier cities in China.
The so-called polarization is that the bad will be very bad, and the good will be very good.
South Africa was formerly a British colony, and private schools continued the British system in terms of hardware, philosophy and teachers. For example, the private elementary school where Maize is about to enter the school has a row of tee machines for English cricket alone, and the swimming pool is indoor and outdoor.
Visit a private elementary school
To say that South Africa is lagging behind, we have to look at which end of the poles.
South African edification
Recession and polarisation in South Africa aside, I love the people here and here.
As the old saying goes, one side of the water and soil raises the other side. South Africans are just as hot and sincere as the weather in South Africa.
When you go to the supermarket to buy something, people you don't know may talk casually. Did you eat, what did you buy, how is this thing...... Of course, if you are very conservative yourself, others will not bother you.
Last time I was swimming in the community gym, a coach was teaching the children, and when he saw me, he took the initiative to come over and say which posture could be improved.
Including my husband's car crashed before, four or five cars stopped on the road in an instant, and asked around where he was injured, whether his leg was okay, and if he needed an ambulance......
I've seen some of the Nordic people coming to South Africa. It is said that the Nordic people are indifferent, but it feels like they were quickly assimilated in Africa.
South Africa is very tolerant of children, and the elder brother of Classmate Maize shook hands and greeted us adults when he saw us, which made people laugh. The children here have always been treated as equals like adults, and they know how to respect themselves and others. Corn was born and raised in South Africa, and its personality is naturally very "South African", and it can be awkward to talk to anyone.
"Slumber Party" for African children
Since coming to South Africa, my own perception has gradually changed.
When I first arrived in '03, I signed up for a tour to Kruger National Park (the largest safari park in South Africa). I remember very well that there were 14 people from 8 different countries, only I was Asian, and I was the only one, with no travel experience and no sleeping bags, which was in stark contrast to other tourists.
The man in the tent with me, Elena, a bank clerk from Eastern Europe, said that almost all of her salary was used to travel around the world. I looked at her at the time, my eyes were full of incomprehension, and I thought to myself that travel is so important, can it be eaten.
There was also a BBC reporter who was completely different from the serious 800 news people I watched on CCTV when I was a child, he came to Africa because he was interested, it was very fun, and every day he either lost his bath towel or his slippers flew.
Before I had no children, I still had some old ideas, such as boys should be poor and girls should be rich. However, under the "influence of South Africa", these traditional concepts have been discarded one by one.
Corn had a friend who was older than her, and he was very kind to Corn, and gave him all the small clothes he wore to Corn, and when Corn wore them, he gave them to his younger sister. In fact, one of the child's parents is an architectural designer and the other is an orthopedic surgeon, and the family conditions are very good. But they are especially grateful every time, thinking that it is because of the good relationship between the children, and in addition, the recycling of old clothes is also environmentally friendly.
Many adults, including my relatives, still think that if you are good for your child, you have to give her good food and wear famous brands, but in South Africa, people don't care about these things. When I returned to China some time ago, other children in the park were dressed very exquisitely, and corn was always cheap leggings. When she saw the pillar or something, she took off her shoes and climbed up in three or two clicks.
After more contact with different people and families, I can now understand Yelena more and more, and understand the playful reporters of the BBC: people have to be chic and casual when they work hard enough.
My husband and I are saying more and more often that, really, life is an experience, not a set track. In this experience of life, if you want to be a "top player", what is your study, talent, and ability...... All skills are supportive, and once a child does not have a solid two cores, no matter how big his achievement, he will be at risk of collapsing at any time.
These two cores, one is the body and the other is the mind. The strength of children's body and mind is the real foundation of education.
Top players are emotionally stable
Nowadays, many people talk about self-discipline in children, but I don't think self-discipline means getting up at 5 a.m. every day and doing 100 exercises.
The top level of self-discipline should be that a person can be emotionally stable in any situation, not easy to lose control, and not collapse and immerse themselves in anxiety or sadness because of a small thing.
Otherwise, what is the use of being excellent academically? Nowadays, there are fewer cases of children and even adults looking for death because of the slightest setback?
Her father's basic cognition is the same, and he thinks that girls should also be strong, don't be too pretentious, don't be too green tea, and don't be so fragile.
I went to the amusement park for a roller coaster, and as an adult I just felt dizzy and my legs were sore, and when everyone was screaming, only corn sat in the first row and laughed.
When I was riding in the rafting project, Maize also took advantage of my inattention to secretly uncover the raincoat and take off the shoe cover, deliberately letting the water splash on his body, as if saying on his face, "I am willing to get drenched, I don't have to care about other people's eyes." ”
1. Temper your body and mind in sports
Physical education is compulsory to attend school in South Africa. Tennis, hockey, swimming, no one feels like anyone would be fine with the girls here, and the boys are rugby, cricket and swimming.
Corn participates in a hockey game
The entrance interview for primary school requires color and numbers, but these are very simple, and other than that, the main thing is to assess the child's physical coordination, such as one-legged jumping, arm strength, skipping rope, etc.
During Maize's kindergarten, the nearby elementary school will arrange some sports days to observe the children's physical fitness through similar activities. I called the elementary school and the school knew right away, oh Jessica, corn's mom. Including the child's comprehensive quality, characteristics, and personality, the school is already clear before she enrolls.
Exercise is not only about exercising the body, but also about sharpening the will. A child's ability to dominate the body is an important process for building self-confidence.
Corn often runs around barefoot, stepping on rocks and branches, and its feet are dirty every day, and small bruises and scars are always healed and added one by one. But she doesn't think it's a thing herself, so adults don't have to be nervous.
Sometimes the corn falls, and the aunt at home wants to help her, but her father and I say don't care. After she stood up, it was time to do what she was going to do.
In soccer class, the white children of Corn are usually very gentle, and when they play football together, they become berserkers. One time Corn was knocked down by a little boy, and the coach called the little boy over to give him a lecture, but Corn thought it strange because she thought it was normal for a collision to happen on the football field, and she didn't think she needed to be let go at all.
In the future, children will face many challenges and even injuries in their lives. The most terrible thing is that before others have done anything, they are depressed and internally exhausted.
In addition, the premise of children's emotional stability is the stability of parents.
Once, corn and other children got into a fight over a piece of hemp rope, and when the white mother saw it, she didn't even put down the drink in her hand, and after a glance, she said it was all right. If the children don't say something, the parents don't have to take it seriously, and the children have their own rules to solve the problem. Sure enough, after the two of them grabbed it for a while, it didn't take long for the smoke to "dissipate".
When the corn came home, the whole palm of the hand was often black, and the brush couldn't be brushed off, and her father and I both thought that black was black, and it was fun.
2. Be a child of nature
Corn has loved animals since she was a child, except for flies, cockroaches and the like, she likes almost all animals, including snakes. A girl who loves animals has sunshine and warmth in her heart.
The family has a rabbit and a dog, and she says that the dog is her sister and the rabbit is her brother. Give them a biscuit as well. When it rains, the first thing that comes to mind is them.
Africa is a paradise for natural wildlife.
There is no need to drive far in the nature reserve here, there are several near my community, and even the community itself is inhabited by many animals, such as ferrets and guinea fowl...... Every morning, when you open the window, you can see the African antelope roaming.
One night I was driving home, and a deer was standing on the road, looked back, and slid into the woods.
The locals are very fond of animals, and there are a few peacocks in the community, and because they poop too much, the community plans to send them away. As a result, the owners were not happy, and finally communicated with the community committee to keep them and take good care of them.
Corn is super fond of being friends with animals. Once, when she went to the nature reserve, she said hello to the monkey "Sarah", and Sarah hugged her as if she understood. Her dad and I were nervous, but the corn was very calm and motionless, but grinned, and then the tourists around came to take pictures one after another, and her dad and I had to look at each other.
Top players are highly adaptable
Some time ago, I took corn back to China. Although she hasn't been in China for a long time, she has adapted well in all aspects.
Corn is quite strong in the bones, and when I was in China, I didn't want to say a single English word, and I really didn't know Chinese and asked me secretly. She feels that as a Chinese, it is a shame that she cannot speak her own language.
I also give corn the same idea, you can fit in well wherever you are. Speak wherever you go, and eat at whom's house.
Since this year, I have found her a tutor for Chinese classes, one-on-two. I'm afraid that it's not interesting for her to learn alone, and there happens to be another Chinese child, two people together. At home, her father and I communicate with her in Chinese.
In schools in South Africa, English is basically spoken. Starting next year's primary school, Maize will also have to learn Afrikaans, a language that is a mix of many different countries, and Maize will need to choose one of seven or eight black South African languages. The nanny aunt at home is a black mother and often teaches corn some black languages, which corn finds very interesting.
Nannies in South Africa don't get paid much, but I never want my children to have the idea that they are inferior to others. We told Maize that Auntie was also part of the family. The nanny had a good relationship with us, she was very fond of corn, and every time we went home, she would send a long list of messages to corn, shouting for warmth.
Sleeping in a starry sky tent with a nanny aunt
It's the same with eating, corn is not picky. Now she eats white food at her white friend's house, eats black food at her black friend's house, and eats food from her hometown in China when she returns to China.
Our family doesn't pay much attention to eating, and what corn hates the most is to spend too much time eating, so we rarely go to restaurants in the mall. For her, it is better to swim twice in the pool when she has this time.
"Dine" in the trees
A friend said that the rice I cooked for corn was too simple, and I said that it was so complicated to make it, and it was useless if she didn't eat it, the key was that I just gave the carbohydrates, protein and fiber that I should have. And the elderly in the family will feel that if they don't give their children big fish and meat, they are not nutritious, but is the physical fitness of corn not nutritious enough?
Modern people are too particular and meticulous in raising children, and they are so delicate that children spoil themselves. My husband and I both said that no matter how good we eat, it is still within the scope of the earth. But the cognitive gap between people may be a few planets away.
Once I had a flu, my husband and I fell ill for two weeks, and we recovered from a runny nose in two days without delaying school.
Maize once told me that she wanted to be a chef in the future, and I said that it was great, and if your mother had the ability, she would send you to a good school to learn the trade.
Corn said for a while that she was going to heal animals in the future, and I said great, so you can spend time with different animals every day.
"Little Kitchen Girl"
I really don't think it matters what my child does in the future. The core of top players is the body that can be used freely, and the tenacity and strength of the heart.
Every time I see my daughter happily focused on something, I am touched.
For example, she went to play in the water with her classmates, and dived down in the pool, like a fish, and didn't want to come out for four or five hours. I say that this kind of whole-body immersion in happiness is the ultimate enjoyment of life.
*Image of the article provided by the interviewee
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