Author: Wei Zhou
Chinese New Year's Eve arrived home near noon, the mother had already prepared the dishes, just the mother and son, and the coarse tea and light rice, although it was always the New Year was coming, she felt that it could not be too plain, otherwise there would be no festive atmosphere at all.
This time I came back alone, and my wife and children all went to my grandmother's house in Fuzhou early. Both of us are only children, originally agreed a long time ago, one year in Chongming and one year in Fuzhou, but in the end it unknowingly became like this: we went back to Fuzhou last year, returned to Chongming for two days on Chinese New Year's Eve the next year, and went to Fuzhou together on the second day of the new year. But this year, I want to come back to accompany my mother, and I have to revise the manuscript quietly.
It's been six years since my father died, and my mother has long been used to being widowed, so I'm always happy to see me back. During the meal, she smiled and said, "This is also a famous hall." It seems that they are all older than the New Year, and the children do not come back to visit you, and others think you are desolate, but in fact, they see that it is just like that. ”
Indeed, it is a famous hall. Although most of the children who are away have to rush back during the New Year's holidays, even the old people are doubting how meaningful it is.
When many people build a house, they will usually leave a room for their children, and their daughters also have a "house", and they always keep one for her after getting married, and they can come back at any time if they want to go back to their parents' home. That one is often the best decorated, like mine is the only one in the house with wooden floors and air conditioning for many years, when the heat is very cold, even if I urge again, my mother often refuses to go to sleep, she says that she is "used to it", in fact, I am afraid that it is because she acquiesces in her heart that it is not her own room.
However, over the years, the children have come back more and more rarely, and every time they come back, the old man has to prepare a table of dishes in advance, dry the bedding, and sprinkle the court, as if to receive some distinguished guests. The young man dragged his son and daughter back, stayed for a day or two, and then roared away. Some old people were also troublesome later: "It's like that when you come back, it's better not to come back." ”
Some are not troublesome, the Nanzhai family, the son married a girl in the city, and his life has been more particular over the years, and I don't know if he thinks his parents' beds are not clean, and he has never stayed overnight. In the past, when the old man cooked, the daughter-in-law was reluctant to taste a chopstick, and in the past two years, she drove back and simply went to the town restaurant to eat. When I came back to the village, I actually met with my parents, said a few words, and sat down, as if I didn't know what else to do.
Speaking of this, the mother said, "That's it, it's better not to come back." I drove back from Shanghai, and I didn't spend much time at home on the road, and I didn't stay overnight. ”
I laughed: "You are not used to coming to Shanghai, and you are reluctant to stay for one night, just like there is a golden nest and a silver nest at home, and you have fled back." "Last month, I asked my mother to come to Shanghai to live, otherwise my parents-in-law would go back to Fuzhou, she thought that it was really unreasonable, I said that she should come early Saturday morning, but she still came on Sunday afternoon, had a small gathering, and returned to the island early the next morning. Speaking of which, the mother is not bad: "I admit it. I'm also getting the job done. ”
Today's sunset on the riverside
Going out for a walk at dusk, my mother said that she fell twice last year, and fortunately she was fine, unlike her neighbor who accidentally fell and suffered a comminuted fracture. She told me every time she was done, and I told her not to do this, not to do it, and she always said, "It's okay, you have to go to work, what can you do when you come back? You're not a doctor." As long as I can take care of myself, I don't want to trouble you. ”
She said she didn't want to trouble me, but she didn't want to live with us. She made no secret of this: "I really think it's good." I'm different from other people's parents, and I'm afraid that you will say to me, 'Mom, we don't feel at ease if you live alone now, come to Shanghai and live with us.' I said I can't get used to it, if the kind of daughter-in-law with sharp teeth comes to say, 'What's not used to it, this is your own home.'" That's terrible, you can't push it off. ”
For her, it was not a "family reunion", but a chore: "Even if the children say that they want to be filial and want me to be happy, how can they really live in your house and do nothing? Tied up like that, not to mention that you are all busy with your own business, I am also redundant, and I am still comfortable in my own home. ”
In fact, once the second uncle told her: "My nephew told you to go to Shanghai, you have to go." After listening to my mother's relay, I didn't feel good about it: no matter how sincerely I wanted my mother to come to Shanghai to "enjoy" for a few days, in the eyes of the elderly, it seemed like an unshirkable obligation - I had to cooperate with the performance and give my children a chance to fulfill their filial piety.
I have never been obsessed with this aspect, and I have agreed with my mother in the morning that I will stay in office, and I don't have to worry that I will be unhappy. She thinks this is the best: "You don't have to pretend that the family is in harmony and reunion, this is your family, not my own family." You don't have to feel guilty for not being filial enough, I have to thank you for giving me freedom. ”
She didn't want to rely on anyone, she thought clearly, people are lonely and old: "You said that you come back a few more times a year, and you will see each other a few more times, how different is it? I am seventy-three years old this year, and I may be able to live on my own for six or seven years, and then I will go to a nursing home, and live for another six or seven years, and I can't get out of bed, so that's about the same." How long children can really stay with them depends on the last bit of time. ”
So thinking about this, she also understands that young people nowadays don't want to have children, "it's really not that interesting." It's just that she sighed, she was lazy when she was young, and she thought that the firstborn was a son who could explain it, and she didn't want to have another child at all, but she didn't expect to be old now, after all, she still envied people who had daughters.
She once laughed at me: "Every time I call back, I say, 'Mom, how are you doing?' What do you think I can do? Lan Fen's daughter calls back every day, how to make this dish for a while, how to beat the sweater for a while, the parents are short, they have nothing to talk about, you seem to ask about big things, and you have to hang up if you have nothing to do. ”
When she talked about these things again at dinner today, she stopped her chopsticks and thought for a while: "If you want to open it, your daughter may not be good." After a while, he said, "Why do you have to be intimate with your daughter? I am also a daughter, and I don't seem to be particularly intimate to your grandparents." ”
After dinner, I went to the town for a walk, it was Chinese New Year's Eve, and most of the shops were still open. I finished the oolong tea I brought back, bought a bottle at the supermarket, and didn't think much about it. At the checkout, my mother glanced at it and sighed: "You only bought it for yourself? It's really the same as your father, with no flowers at all." ”