If your child doesn't do well in the exam, don't say "it's okay if you don't do well in the exam", there are 3 things that parents of school bully do

A friend asked me for help, saying that my son's final exams were only on the passing line.

The child's mother nagged vigorously, saying that whoever whose child was admitted to a good school, and who won an award, was her own baby, did she lose points sloppily again, or did she not take classes seriously......

When the child saw his mother, he was annoyed, and either spoke up loudly, or locked himself in the house, and no one paid attention to him.

My friend's heart is bigger, and he doesn't want to make a fuss about this matter during the New Year, so he persuaded in the middle: "It doesn't matter if you don't do well in the exam, our son is so smart, just try to do well in the exam next time." ”

Unexpectedly, saying this did not comfort the child, but also successfully led the "fire" to himself, and the child's mother told him again.

My friend asked me what I should do in this situation.

Scolding like the child's mother is not a good way, it is likely to lead to rebellion, and the child is even more reluctant to learn. However, it is not a good idea to say "it doesn't matter if you don't do well in the exam" like a friend, and these words may be counterproductive.

One: Don't say "it's okay if you don't do well in the test"

If the child doesn't do well in the exam, why don't you say "it's okay if you don't do well"?

●It is easy to lead the child astray

Although we are afraid that our child will not do well in the exam, we will have a self-doubting mentality, and comfort him that it is okay if he does not do well in the exam.

But if there are more times, the child may take it seriously - since the parents say it's okay, the exam is really not that important, and you don't have to study hard.

One day, you can't stand his poor results, and if you want to say a few words, he may block you and say, "It's okay if you said it, why are you coming to me now?"

"It doesn't matter if you don't do well in the exam" is not conducive to cultivating children's sense of responsibility, so it is not recommended.

●Ignoring the child's frustration

If it is a child who is strong and usually has good grades, and suddenly does poorly in the exam, he may feel faceless, or feel that he is a failure.

At this time, you say "it's okay", and the child will only feel that you don't understand him.

Moreover, if you say "just do well in the next exam", the child still thinks: "You really don't care about my feelings, only care about grades and scores!"

Comfort fails, and both parents and children are sad.

●Lack of instruction

Although it is the child's responsibility to learn, he also wants to be guided by his parents.

It's like if we go home and tell our parents that money is hard to earn. The parents responded, "Just work hard to earn it." We may also mumble in our hearts, "I want to work hard to earn it, but how hard can I work hard? ”

But if parents can give us some guidance, or some direction, we will also find it comforting.

Therefore, when a child encounters difficulties on the way to learning, if he can get help from our adults, he will feel that he is not lost or alone.

However, what kind of guidance and help can we give to children's learning?

Two: Parents of school bully do 3 things

If we want to be a "school bully parent", we can do the following 3 things:

(1) Improve learning efficiency

The book "Why Do We Sleep" points out that sleep can help us sort out the fragments of memory, clear useless memories, and retain useful memories.

I don't know if you have ever had such an experience, memorize the knowledge before going to bed, and read it again when you get up the next morning, and the knowledge points are like "welding" in your mind, and you will remember it many years later.

Or, when you get up in the morning to read a book, it is very efficient, you can read it quickly and remember it well.

That's what sleep does. Through a night's sleep, it organizes and classifies our memories, leaving useful knowledge points, and enhancing memory after waking up.

We can take advantage of the holidays to catch the hour after the child wakes up early. Memorize and memorize the knowledge points that have not been consolidated, and when the foundation is solid, you will naturally be able to integrate and achieve good results in the next semester.

(2) Segmented learning

We will find that when memorizing texts, we remember the beginning and the end the most, and there are a few places in the middle, and we always can't remember them.

Why is that?

Because memory has a characteristic, that is, it will make it easy for us to remember the beginning and the recent, and what happened in the middle is easy to forget.

Therefore, if we want children to memorize the knowledge points, we need to divide the long knowledge into segments. Divide a whole into several parts.

In this way, the beginning and end of the knowledge are increased, and the child can remember it more firmly. It's best to combine work and rest, remember a knowledge point, take a break, and when you memorize it again, it's another head.

In this way, children learn in segments, and it is easier for children to grasp the knowledge and grasp it more firmly.

(3) Help children develop good study habits

No matter how much we usually grasp, learning is a child's business after all, and he still has to rely on himself.

For example, cultivate good study habits, be able to systematically sort out notes, classify and organize knowledge points, and so on. If these habits are cultivated well, learning can get twice the result with half the effort.

When children can turn these efficient methods into their own learning ability, then we as parents will really be much easier!

[The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted]