Text/Rain without emotional intelligence
Some people say: When people are old, they understand that 60 to 65 years old is the beginning of life's pain. At the age of 63, I really started a painful life. Because I was 63 years old, I was hospitalized and had no one to take care of me, and I didn't dare to live at home after I was discharged from the hospital, but some people said that I was self-inflicted.
My surname is Chen, I am 63 years old, and I have a pension of more than 3,000 per month. I have only one son, who works in other places and has a family in other places, and only comes back once a year during the Spring Festival. My son is beautiful and works in a public institution, and I love her very much, but 10 years ago, she became my ex-wife.
In the past 10 years after the divorce, I have also figured out that two people can get married by fate, then, divorce is the end of fate, and at the same time, I also understand that marriage is never a person's business.
The marriage is broken, and she and I are both responsible. I'm an introvert and don't make friends, and she's the opposite of me, so we often quarrel with each other. And the most important point is that I have a small heart, as long as I know that she is in contact with the opposite sex, I will be angry with her, and after that, she will have a cold war with me.
There are many times when I want to be as generous as other men, but I can't. Gradually, I could no longer feel her warmth, and when my son was in junior high school, she had to sleep in a separate room with me, otherwise she would go to divorce, and I had to obey.
I know she's doing it for her son. After her son joined the work, she didn't mention the divorce, I think, maybe it's because she's old, so she just lives like this. When her grandson was three years old, she filed for divorce, and said that she was willing to leave the house, and her attitude was very resolute, and her son and daughter-in-law did not let her change her mind.
Over the years of marriage, I haven't lived in her heart, and I feel a little tired, thinking about it and thinking, loving her will fulfill her, and letting go is also a kind of love, I agreed to divorce.
She moved out, and I knew she was somebody.
The divorce was devastating, I couldn't hold my head up in front of anyone, and I began to hate her.
It is said that time is good medicine, and I think it is. In the third year after the divorce, I found a partner and broke up in less than half a year because I found out that I was still in love with my ex-wife.
In a blink of an eye, I have entered the age of sixtieth, my body is obviously different from previous years, the frequency of dizziness is getting higher and higher, the doctor said that I am caused by insufficient blood supply to the brain, and the bad habits must be completely changed.
I was a big smoker, and after I retired, I started to stay up late, play games at night, catch up on sleep during the day, and cook a meal for three days. I don't have any friends around, my son and daughter-in-law are not around, my parents live in the countryside, my two brothers and a sister are far away from me, and I never call them if there is nothing to do.
In October last year, my mother passed away, maybe because I was too tired, I fainted once, I woke up within two minutes, my son took me to the hospital for a comprehensive physical examination, I have too many problems, the most important is the blood vessel problem.
I think that sooner or later people have to leave, and I have lived past 60 years old, and I am left to my fate, and I will follow what I like.
Finally, my hard days have come. At three o'clock in the morning on November 20, 2023, I was lying on the sofa playing games, my skull suddenly began to hurt sharply, rolled from the sofa to the ground, my eyes were blurred, my limbs were weak, beads of sweat the size of beans flowed down, my heart beat to my throat, and I began to feel fear.
After struggling in pain for about 10 minutes, I suddenly wanted to go to the toilet and stood up, but I didn't have any strength.
Strange to say, after going to the toilet, my eyes are no longer blurry, but I still don't have the strength. I crawled out of the toilet again, found my phone, and called my brother who was closest to me, but he turned off the phone and was about to continue calling other people, but I felt that my body was slowly improving, so I stopped talking about it and waited until dawn.
I stayed up until dawn, soaked with three sets of clothes, my whole body collapsed, and I thought, I have to go to the hospital. That's when my brother called, and a few hours later, I was admitted to the hospital.
The doctor said that I had a heart attack, a fortune teller, and no infarction. A few days later, I had surgery and three stents installed. I was hospitalized for 35 days, a week before and after the operation, my son took time off work to take care of me, and the rest of the days I relied on the nurse.
I have to mention that on the day of the operation, she came to see me, even if it was only for more than an hour, my hatred was gone, and my heart felt very warm. She is also a person with a sixtieth birthday, but she is still beautiful and temperamental, and my heart tingles when I see her leaving.
On the day he was discharged from the hospital, the doctor repeatedly told him that for a month, the hand with the wound should not be able to exert force, and he was determined to quit smoking and change his bad habits.
After I was discharged from the hospital, I needed someone to take care of me, and I didn't dare to live at home alone, so my son wanted to hire a nanny with me, but I hesitated again and again, but I still refused, because hiring a nanny is a big expense. My brother discussed with his daughter-in-law that I would stay at their house for a month and give me some living expenses. Although I noticed the glimmer of displeasure on my brother's daughter-in-law's face, there was no way to do it.
Only at this age did I truly experience the helplessness of sending people under the fence, and I felt that my life was like a year.
I quit smoking, my life became regular, my body slowly recovered, and I returned to my home after living in it for less than a month.
The day after I returned home, I went out for a walk, and I heard someone say that I had suffered so much because I had inflicted it on myself, that I should not have agreed to a divorce in the first place, and that my wife no longer liked it, but at least she could still take the responsibility. Husband and wife are to live together together, and when they are old, they have a care, as for the rest, they can endure it, and for some things, they will pass with one eye open and one eye closed.
When I heard these words, I was angry and sad in my heart, and I even regretted it, not knowing what the days to come will be.
End
I am the rain without emotional intelligence, pay attention to me and walk into the emotional world together.