Preamble:
When Zhang Zhaoyi announced the news of her pregnancy with a second child, many people were a little surprised - she was going to have a second child so soon?
As a post-80s generation, Zhang Zhaoyi is no longer young, and is facing the physical and mental torment of pregnancy again, which makes many people want to ask: Is a woman really a mother?
What a price does it take for women to face pregnancy reactions and labor pain
According to insiders, Zhang Zhaoyi's pregnancy did not go well.
At first, she experienced extremely severe pregnancy reactions such as morning sickness and headaches.
In order to protect the fetus, Zhang Zhaoyi had to rest in bed.
Later, although the reaction improved, it was followed by back pain, edema and emotional ups and downs.
"There was a time when I had a bad temper and I would cry whatever my husband said. ”
Zhang Zhaoyi admitted frankly that his emotions were out of control very seriously.
What made her even more mixed was that this was not the first time she had faced such a painful pregnancy.
When she was pregnant with her first baby, the situation was even worse, and she felt deeply afraid and helpless about giving birth.
At that time, Zhang Zhaoyi even had to be hospitalized for observation, while her husband Brother Bao was by her side, worrying about her work.
In the end, the baby was born safely, but the shadow of that period still haunts Zhang Zhaoyi, which is also an important reason for her emotional recurrence when she was pregnant with her second child this time.
In fact, the physical and mental damage to women during pregnancy and childbirth is huge.
As artists, we see more actresses who have no worries about food and clothing and can hire nannies and confinement nannies.
But for ordinary women, they often face days of sleep deprivation and physical and mental exhaustion.
Year after year, they endure the pain of childbirth in the midst of toil and grievances.
As Cai Shaofen said, after giving birth to three children, she hasn't slept a full night for ten years.
At four o'clock in the morning, the youngest son would cry and breastfeed, and then she would get up to make breakfast, dress her two daughters, and tie their pigtails.
I also have to take care of my youngest son during the day, and I am still busy until late at night.
Such a day-to-day life made her feel both sad and helpless.
Ten years as a day, she really didn't have a moment to breathe or rest, all her time and energy was spent on her family and children.
But even so, when asked, "Do you regret having a baby?", most mothers answer "never regret it".
Yes, although the process is painful and long, it is all worth it when you see the child open his eyes and smile at himself.
In order to feel the happiness of being a mother, it seems that a woman can really have no regrets.
Perhaps that's the greatness of motherhood.
Postpartum depression becomes an invisible killer Many couples turn a blind eye
"I had an illness, and no one in my family knew that I was sick, but I was really sick...... this is a true portrayal of a pregnant woman in the show.
Sadly, no one in her family realized she was sick.
She is trying her best to play the role of a "perfect mother", and hidden under the surface is endless pain and struggle.
In fact, some degree of depression is prevalent in women during pregnancy and after childbirth.
According to statistics, nearly sixty percent of pregnant women will have depressive symptoms within six months after giving birth.
And this kind of "postpartum depression" is more like an invisible killer.
It makes women still laugh on the surface, but the despair inside is like a monstrous wave, about to swallow her up.
As the woman said, her family did not know or understand her pain, which undoubtedly increased her burden.
In one interview, several depressed mothers were in tears, while their husbands were at a loss, thinking they were making a fuss.
This misplaced perception and lack of support has left mothers feeling disillusioned.
They struggled to survive, but they were still seen as the "problematic" ones.
This is the current state of postpartum depression in many families.
The husband does not understand the inner struggle of his wife, and the wife faces everything alone and finally collapses under a lot of pressure.
In fact, postpartum depression is not "hypocritical", but like a "call for help".
When women are at their most vulnerable, what they need most is understanding and support from their families.
And this lack of support is the "killer" hidden behind the scenes and gradually destroying women.
Alyssa Jia: If someone understands you, the road will not be too difficult
Alyssa Jia once gave birth to a daughter at an advanced age in her 40s, and the process was not easy.
In fact, this is not the first time she has faced the torment of childbirth.
In that year, 25-year-old Jia Jingwen did not hesitate to get two months pregnant in order to be with Zhong Hanliang.
This was undoubtedly a wrong decision, and it became a knot in her life.
For years, she has regretted her decision and longed to have a child of her own.
When she really decided to have a child, Alyssa Jia experienced five years of infertility and multiple miscarriages before finally having her first daughter.
During this time, she was exhausted and suffered from serious physical problems, and almost lost her fertility permanently.
Fortunately, the heavens finally favored her.
When she became pregnant for the second time, Alyssa was over 40 years old.
She had to face more pressure, and this time, her husband Xiu Jiekai was always by her side.
"Every time I had an emotional breakdown and cried, he would tell me, 'Don't be afraid, I'm here.'" ”
Jia Jingwen sighed that it was with Xiu Jiekai's understanding and support that she could persevere.
Otherwise, it would be too difficult for a person to survive such a painful road of childbirth as hers.
The year the baby was born, it was the rising period of Xiu Jiekai's career, and he was very busy with work.
It's late at night when I get home from work every day, and I have to go out early the next day.
However, every day when he came home from work, he went to the kitchen to wash the dishes and wash his clothes silently as soon as possible, and then said to Jia Jingwen, "You go and rest, I'll come."
Whenever Alyssa Jia felt powerless, a hug from her husband made him feel full of strength.
It was the only solace she had in being alone.
Because of this, in this family, children will never only pester their mothers.
When they have any problems, their first thought is "go to Daddy".
This makes Alyssa feel that the road in life is not too difficult to walk, because there are people who understand you and support you.
Someone to share with you, and the courage to persevere will sprout in your heart.
Zhang Jie: I am willing to carry everything in my family just for you to be carefree
The love between Xie Na and Zhang Jie has amazed countless people.
From the time the two met and got married and had children, they have always been in extraordinary love.
Until Xie Na became pregnant for the second time, her husband Zhang Jie once again amazed everyone.
According to insiders, Xie Na reacted very much during pregnancy and often had difficulty falling asleep in the middle of the night.
"At two or three o'clock in the morning, she would wake up suddenly and then she wouldn't be able to sleep. ”
In order to let his wife sleep peacefully, Zhang Jie simply got up with her at night and chatted and walked with her until dawn.
During the day, if Xie Na wants to eat something, he will also cook it himself.
Zhang Jie gave up almost all his work, just to be by his wife's side at all times.
Another time, Xie Na, who was eight months pregnant, suddenly fainted at home, and Zhang Jie sent her to the hospital as soon as possible.
"I was really scared of what was going to happen. ”
Xie Na said she couldn't stop crying at the thought of losing her baby.
"It's okay, I'm here. ”
Zhang Jie held her hand tightly and stayed in the ward for a moment.
Fortunately, in the end, the mother and son were safe, and Xie Na and Zhang Jie also passed that unforgettable stage.
"I will carry everything for you, just ask you to be carefree. ”
Zhang Jie made a promise to his wife.
He always believes that the companionship of life without hesitation is the best protection.
With someone to share, women don't have to face the hardships of childbirth alone.
This sweet burden has also become the deepest bond between each other.
Zhang Xinyi: Don't let women suffer just because of their gender
Childbearing and conception should be shared by husband and wife.
But in many families, it has become a "natural" obligation for women.
This is the suffering that comes with gender inequality.
In the face of physical damage and psychological trauma, women are often asked to take and ignore it "as a matter of course".
And in this regard, Zhang Xinyi's husband Yuan Hong has a very clear understanding.
The two have a son, and Yuan Hong did not let his wife take on the burden of parenting, but took the initiative to share the housework and accompany his wife through the postpartum physical and psychological recovery period.
"Don't let women suffer what isn't right for them just because of their gender. ”
This is Yuan Hong's bottom line and belief.
Therefore, when Zhang Xinyi made the choice to continue breastfeeding during the recovery period, he gave her full support, and when Zhang Xinyi wanted to return to work, he was firmly on her side.
In this family, the wife's ideas and choices are crucial and there is no discrimination based on gender.
This gave Zhang Xinyi a great sense of security and also reduced the pressure she bears as a woman.
"I am very fortunate to have met such a benefactor. Zhang Xinyi sighed.
It is precisely because of her husband's understanding and encouragement that she can become a better version of herself.
Perhaps this is the most precious emotion in life.
Is it true that a woman is a mother? The answer is no.
As mentioned at the beginning, women are just ordinary people, they can also be tired, they can also break down, and they also need support from their families.
Before and after childbirth, the pain that women endure is enormous.
It's not something that can be easily adhered to.
It needs two people to bear and take care of it, so that life can grow safely in the arms of the mother.
Therefore, on this road with a long way to go, may someone understand you and warm you.
Just like Jia Jingwen, Xie Na, and Zhang Xinyi, some people understand, some encourage, and some protect.
Epilogue:
Women cannot be expected to be strong as mothers, and must be able to cope and endure everything.
On the contrary, they also have moments of weakness and vulnerability, and they also need the support of their families.
Therefore, women need to be treated gently.
This is not the privilege of the weak, but the nature of human beings.