#我来唠家常#
A happy marriage is like the warm sun in winter, which can make people feel like a spring breeze in the cold season.
A happy marriage is a harbor for a woman's feelings, allowing people to live in peace after experiencing storms.
People's wishes for a happy marriage are made when they are in love, expecting that a beautiful love will bear sweet fruits.
However, the harsh reality of marriage is often contrary to people's expectations of love, and love and marriage may never be the same thing.
01
Yu Xiaoyuan was half a female literary youth when she was young, she loved to read Qiong Yao's novels and watch idol dramas, and she was often moved to tears by the love in novels and plays, and she couldn't sleep all night.
In college, she also had a few relationships, both handsome guys and literary men, romantic and chic, but none of them were unforgettable, and they didn't work out.
In his senior year, Yu Xiaoyuan and Qi Dejun met and fell in love, and they talked about it earth-shattering, he would write a letter to Xiaoyuan every day, and Xiaoyuan often sat in the mosquito net and read it to tears.
The roommates thought something big had happened, but Xiao Yuan read the sensational text in Qi Dejun's letter to them, and everyone knew that Xiao Yuan was moved by the love letter.
Qi Dejun can write poems, write good articles, and is also a literary and artistic young man, and his roommates don't look down on them and feel that they are extremely incompatible: Yu Xiaoyuan is a class flower, and Qi Dejun is not good-looking, far worse than her ex-boyfriends.
02
The roommates also believe that Qi Dejun's family is in the countryside, his parents are farming in the local area, there are 5 brothers and sisters, the family conditions are not very good, he is the eldest at home, and the pressure is on his shoulders.
Yu Xiaoyuan's family is well-off, his parents are intellectuals, and the sisters are favored by their parents, and they have been living a petty bourgeois life, and Qi Dejun's family is almost the same as heaven and earth.
But Yu Xiaoyuan doesn't care about these, she thinks that love should be very pure, and should not be affected by appearance, material, and region, she believes that their love can overcome all this.
Yu Xiaoyuan and Qi Dejun are not from the same place, one south and one north, it is rare for the two of them to withstand the test of the graduation season is the breakup season, Qi Dejun followed Yu Xiaoyuan to her hometown to settle down and get married.
Yu Xiaoyuan and Qi Dejun's love marriage also did not have the affirmation and blessing of their parents, Yu Xiaoyuan's parents didn't look down on Qi Dejun at all, and felt that he had nothing to do except be a sour literati.
Qi Dejun's parents felt that the pillar of the family should have returned to his hometown to glorify the lintel and support his younger siblings, but he was abducted by Yu Xiaoyuan and could not bring any help and benefits to the family.
03
In the first two years of marriage, Yu Xiaoyuan and Qi Dejun were affectionate and loving, you and me, living like a fairy couple, which also made the roommates envious, as if they believed in love again.
However, after having a child, it seems that life is completely different, and the economy is stretched, Qi Dejun resigned and came out to start a business, wanting to provide a better living environment for his wife and children.
Engaged in food wholesale business in the food city, although Yu Xiaoyuan's parents did not wait to see this son-in-law, they would not watch their daughter live a poor life, and helped Qi Dejun apply for an endorsement license, and the business was doing well at the beginning.
However, in less than two years, some people in the surrounding merchants felt that Qi Dejun, an outsider, had robbed them of their business, and united to report to the Food Supervision Bureau, saying that Qi Dejun sold "three nos" food.
In this food wholesale market, who can guarantee that their goods have been strictly inspected? Which one does not have the "three nos" food to sell? Selling this kind of food is highly profitable and risky, and if it is not caught, it will make a fortune, and if it is caught, it will be punished, and it may be punished and the family will be ruined.
After all, Qi Dejun had too much of a literati on his body, and he usually did not interact with the higher-level authorities, and he was not familiar with the relationship; after the accident, he would not bow his head to those merchants who sued him, but pointed out that the witnesses sold more counterfeit goods than him.
As a result, these old local business owners saw that this foreigner was so ignorant of current affairs, and united with the owner of the mall to raise the rent, and forced Qi Dejun out of the mall.
04
Yu Xiaoyuan's parents are intellectuals, and they don't have many business connections, and when they find someone around the corner, they are no longer able to return to the sky, Qi Dejun has also paid the fine, and the store has been cancelled.
Qi Dejun not only lost all the money he earned before, but also went home and asked Yu Xiaoyuan for the money he had saved for his children's schooling, and he also posted it and returned to the pre-liberation period overnight.
The sponsorship fee and tuition fee for the child's school are also subsidized by Yu Xiaoyuan's parents, and Qi Dejun's family has cut off contact with him since he settled in another country, and even if he has contact, it is impossible to come up with money to fund them.
Yu Xiaoyuan's parents hated that iron could not become steel, and sighed all day long; Yu Xiaoyuan himself washed his face with tears every day, hugged his child and cried bitterly; Qi Dejun was depressed and found a place outside, smoked and drank, and came back very late.
Yu Xiaoyuan looked back at his sister, who also graduated from college, talked about a boyfriend from a local family with a solid family, worked as a teacher in a vocational school, and with the connections of his wife's parents, he had already become the director of the school's moral education department.
Getting married, having children, buying a house, buying a car, the man's family has a lot of subsidies, the couple gives the children good schools, off-campus tutoring classes, and the funds are at ease, and the couple will take the children to travel twice a year during the winter and summer vacations.
05
In contrast, Yu Xiaoyuan realized at this time that the love that his roommates were not optimistic about and the marriage that his parents did not bless may really be a mistake.
She didn't dare to admit that she had regretted this marriage, feeling that this was a denial of the beautiful and innocent relationship of their youth.
But she also can't deny that if she had listened to her parents' opinions, she and her children would definitely live a much better life than they have now, and Qi Dejun, who returned to his hometown to work and live, would not face such a predicament as today.
But what's wrong with a person who values feelings, not material things, and doesn't worship money? Why doesn't God match a happy marriage with a beautiful love?
This is a real love and marriage story of the post-70s, the marital status of the hero and heroine of the story is embarrassing, are they wrong?
From the perspective of modern people, there may be the following problems in this marriage from the beginning, if it is detected as soon as possible, it can be stopped in time:
1. Love brain, love and marriage are mixed up
Love brain, love is greater than the sky, there is nothing wrong with being young, you can love and kill each other by looking at the right eyes and hormones.
However, if you want to enter into marriage, you must seriously consider and carefully match, and prepare for future family life.
Before his daughter got married, Marx also investigated the family property status of his prospective son-in-law before deciding whether to marry his daughter to him.
It can be seen that love can fly willfully on the spiritual level, and marriage must be rationally stable on the material level.
Second, do not pay attention to the right family, marriage and family disharmony
It makes sense for the ancients to pay attention to the right marriage in marriage.
Families of different social strata will have different life plans because of their different views, and families with unmatched conditions will have conflicts due to economic problems.
Poor families face problems of survival and livelihood, while rich families face problems of development and upgrading.
At different starting points, some people's end points are others' starting points, and the distance will get bigger and bigger.
On different tracks, the goals are not the same, and even if they are parallel, they often diverge from each other and never intersect.
3. A marriage that is not blessed by the family will not be happy
When I was young, I felt that my parents didn't understand love, but when I was older, I felt that I didn't understand marriage.
Marriage is not simply the union of two people, but the merging of two families or even clans.
If the family strongly opposes the marriage, it is better to stop and think again, and do not be hot-headed and trapped by love, and be tough with the family.
A harmonious and matched marriage should be recognized by family and friends, and most marriages that are not blessed by their families will not be too happy.
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