01 Jue said
Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" begins with the words: "Happy families are all alike, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes." ”
This sentence later evolved into "A happy life is the same, and an unhappy life has its own sorrows." That seems to make more sense.
Today I also want to paraphrase this sentence and talk about a woman's life.
A happy life is the same, but happiness is different from a woman, such as career, family, beauty, personality, and even friends and girlfriends, etc., the consummation of any one of them will make women who are easy to satisfy ignore other feelings of luck.
But the vast majority of women's misfortunes come from the family environment, and they almost always can't escape the words lover, children, and in-laws.
Regardless of whether a married woman is successful in her career or not, her lover, children, and relationship with her parents and in-laws will always be tightly entangled around her, including the misfortune caused by domestic violence, the misfortune caused by financial difficulties, the unhappiness caused by the inability to have children, and the unhappiness caused by the conflict between her in-laws......
So, can women jump out of these inevitable quagmires throughout their lives?
I hurriedly flipped through Carnegie's two books on how women can be happy in life, one is "The Complete Works of Carnegie's Happiness Code for Women" translated by Han Hong, the other is "Carnegie's Complete Works for Women" translated by Duff, and the other is "Carnegie's Advice to Women for a Life's Happiness" translated by Su Wenyuan.
According to the statistics of WeChat reading, the first book "The Complete Works of Carnegie's Happiness Code for Women" has the highest score, but the completion rate of the number of readers is not as good as the second-ranked "Carnegie Writes to Women", as for the last book, there are many people who are actually reading, but there is no reading data, and the score is directly given to the words "mixed".
And my own roughly reading summary is that, like all of Carnegie's other writings, classics are classics, and inspirational are inspirational.
But the author is a foreigner after all, so he still thinks about foreigners. And most importantly, these books are almost all about teaching women how to perfect themselves, but where in the world is there a perfect woman? So in the end, it's hard to say brilliantly.
Moreover, when a woman deeply feels unlucky, most of them are almost middle-aged or already middle-aged, the most embarrassing time in life and the longest age group, is the stage when responsibility is overwhelming, how many women can have the energy, time, and patience to reinvent themselves delicately during this period?
But if you want to get out of the quagmire, you can only choose to change, this is the only way out.
It's just that countless sleepless days in the middle of the night, countless days of trying to change failed, and the result of my thinking experiment is that change does not have to change oneself in the direction of becoming more and more perfect, because it is difficult for someone to do it completely.
Since I can't do other people's methods, then I try to use my own methods to make changes that I can do, and the final conclusion is that although my methods are rough and simple, they are also effective, and I will introduce my experience and insights in the future.
Now let's summarize it roughly, that is: women are like flowers, delicate and gorgeous, if they are born at the wrong time, they must first love and narcissism.
02 Iji
No one can choose whether a woman is born, her childhood, or the happiness or misfortune of her childhood. But the experience of this beginning of life is as important as the adolescent years, and it can affect a person's whole life, even if the memory and understanding at this stage are still vague and intermittent.
I come from a rural area, a place with a very strong hometown accent, and the people who come out of us are scattered all over the country, but no matter how many years they have lived abroad, no matter how high their level of education is, and how many years they have spoken Mandarin, 80% of them can still come out with that kind of local accent, which is not easy to change.
But I'm not the same in the few 20 percent. From the first time I came to the "big" city, no one had ever heard my native accent, because my childhood was different.
At that time, the kindergarten in the village was not called a kindergarten, but a red class, and it was also divided into large and small classes, and the large class was the preschool.
The so-called Yuhong class in our village is actually that the village has entrusted a middle-aged woman with a bit of culture and patience to be a "teacher" to take care of some school-age children whose parents can't take care of them, so as not to have problems at home alone.
It's a pity that I was too thin at that time, and the teacher of the Yuhong class didn't want to accept me very much, so I only remember the scene of the Yuhong class, that is, after a rain, the female teacher took us to look for mushrooms in the corner of the wall, and then I found a thick mushroom that was quite big and white similar to the mushroom, and when I went back, my mother added some cottonseed oil and eggs with an iron spoon and fried it, and the unfinished fragrance was the origin of my love for all kinds of mushrooms.
Leaving aside this insignificant memory, more images remain in my mind of sitting under the eaves and listening to a delicate radio with sunflower patterns as golden as sunflowers, one is a small trumpet program, and the other is a star torch program that follows.
"Children's little speaker broadcast has begun!" ~ Tick Tick ~ is the opening of the small speaker program, "Star Torch Now Begins" is the beginning of the Star Torch program, and these two voices are still entwined in the ears and have never been distorted.
It was at this time that I began to learn Mandarin, and I still put it into practice, and when I was about four or five years old when I was about four or five years old, I had the courage to use Mandarin to communicate with Mandarin-speaking workers from the city.
Therefore, my self-study since childhood has served me all my life, and Mandarin, which has never been ridiculed as a "hillbilly", is also a tributary of happiness.
The nagging thing is actually to tell the sisters who are experiencing it that change is not necessarily deliberately forbearant and painful, and change can exist in a moisturizing and silent form.
At the same time, I also want the sisters to pay attention to the problems of children's early childhood education. Our past cannot be changed, but maybe at this time, you have the time and ability to pave a better future for your children, so whether you are suffering from luck or misfortune at this time, please leave your children with a certain amount of patience and love, after all, sowing hope is also cultivating happiness.
Now that we're talking about sowing hope, let's let change begin from here! Now, let's solemnly plant together the seeds of hope that will make us happy for the rest of our lives.
From now on, every determination we make is a fertilization, and every change is a watering, let us work together to maintain ourselves until they are in full bloom and bright.