When the editor saw this news in the morning, his first reaction was not to believe it: Isn't this already on winter vacation, how can this kind of thing happen? "Double reduction" has been more than two years, is the homework burden still so heavy?
It wasn't until I heard the story of the author Rosalie tutoring her kindergarten daughter to do her homework in Hong Kong, that I felt that it might not have much to do with whether or not to take a holiday or reduce the burden, but that the parent's tutoring homework itself is a big problem, and if you are not careful, you will fall into the "dead loop" of education, and the more responsible the parent who tutors, the greater the frustration.
In Rosalie's view, people who have never tutored their homework should not think that tutoring can be solved just by relaxing their minds and silently reciting "my own", but a real practice.
Looking up at my watch, it was already half past ten in the evening. Look at my four-and-a-half-year-old daughter, who has not yet started writing the school homework spread out in front of her.
At my current age, I am not a "tutor" homework, at best it is just a supervised writing homework, and the content of the homework is simply the copying of Chinese characters.
My baby sat at the table, her dad sat next to her, and I sat across from her, smiling and smiling. She looked at me, and then at her watch:
"Why does that second hand turn so fast? It spins in circles as soon as we speak!"
I try to keep smiling:
"Because time doesn't stop moving forward. The second hand turns the fastest, and the hour hand turns the fattest and slower. I guess you'll be able to write this line in one turn. ”
I pointed my finger at the workbook and tried to pull the topic back to homework.
She turned to her head again and asked:
"Was there a red rainstorm warning yesterday?"
Dad: "Yesterday was a black rainstorm warning. ”
"Why was there a black rainstorm warning yesterday?"
Dad: "It's raining so hard. ”
"What was yesterday's yesterday, Dad?"
Dad: "It was the day before yesterday. ”
"How did we build our house?" "Dad, Dad, will our house collapse if there is a typhoon?" "What is online class?" "What is that's right?" ......
There was no answer to a topic that would pull her back to her homework.
Her father and I chattered, both soft and hard: "Hurry up and write!"
"Why do you want to write quickly? I want to write slowly!"
finally took half an hour to write a word, and began to slip again: "You guys stop talking, I'm checking the pen!"
Remove all caps to check the pen
Her dad and I had an idea and connected with my grandma via video. The daughter likes her grandmother the most, and asks her to accompany her to do her homework to see if she can write it down.
Connecting with my grandmother to take over the responsibility, her father and I quietly retreated to the side to observe secretly. Grandma came up with a new idea: "Let's compete, see who can write fast!" Grandma began to write in the video.
Grandma is really human, she really writes.
Grandma finished writing and said to her granddaughter in the video, "Why are you writing so slowly? ”
Her granddaughter: "I'm checking the pen, I'm just looking to see which one is broken." ”
After a while: "I'm starting to write now! Hey, where's the pencil? I'll look for the pencil again." ”
Finding her, she started singing again. Half a day passed, and he said to the other side of the video: "Grandma, but, I haven't written a single one." ”
At this time, she looked at her father and me, who were staring at the situation on the couch next to her, and said to me, "Can you play with what you have in your hand?" "Then I'll get it myself." ”......
A while ago, I got my recent medical examination report and found that my thyroid gland had nodules.
Although it is not necessarily a pot for tutoring homework, there are really a lot of mothers recruited because of tutoring homework:
"I just started the first grade, and this month I have direct breast hyperplasia. ”
"My eldest aunt left angrily. ”
"Our family is all kinds of rotten, unmotivated, and today I was so angry that I broke down and cried, I really want to die with her. ”
Seriously, I want to play 800 times a day, and if I am better, I cooperate with the assigned tasks, but it is cumbersome and time-consuming to do, and even parents fall into self-doubt, I don't know if I am too demanding.
When I was young, it was useful to motivate my child and even scare and reward various methods, but when I went to junior high school, I didn't work!
I don't care about anything, and I find out that they really don't do their homework. At the end of the day, because children are not "forward-looking", they just want to have fun in time. As a parent, if you are not strict, you will be pinched, and if you are too strict, you are afraid that your child will lack love.
In order to cultivate children's self-motivation and internal drive, parents have discussed everything that should be discussed, and they have exhausted all the methods.
Some people say that as soon as the network cable is pulled, the book will be picked up, and the homework will become active. As soon as the air conditioner was turned off, there was more time for outdoor activities, and I took the initiative to attend interest classes.
Some people think that children still have not suffered from life because their lives are too comfortable.
It's okay not to do homework, take them to hike, go to the mountains, do some things that need to be persistent, if you can't stick to it, then obediently go to do your homework, find more things that are difficult to stick to, and they will find that it is still easy to write homework.
The tug-of-war lasted until half past 12 in the middle of the night, and my daughter's homework was finally finished. Her father looked up to the sky and shouted: "I have one requirement for choosing a primary school - no homework!"
"The 38-year-old mother of the second child was angry to death in tutoring homework", I definitely didn't understand it before I had children, and I couldn't understand it at all.
But since I started tutoring homework, I understand.
I don't want to be angry with my child to do her homework, and I don't expect her to write well, but I just can't help but be anxious.
It's like falling out of love, I understand the truth, and I know that some things are not worth it, but I can't help but be sad.
The old sister complained in the group that her 5-and-a-half-year-old daughter wrote mathematics:
"Originally, 10 + 10 + 10 = 10 was already very broken, and I passed away on the spot after the change. ”
The group members below wanted to be comforted, but they stopped halfway through the conversation, and they really couldn't find a breakthrough point that could be comforted.
Recently, it has become popular to let chatGPT draw a picture, if you let chatGPT draw a tutoring child to write homework, vividly depict the filial piety of the mother and son without tutoring homework, and the chicken flies and the dog jumps when writing homework:
The above are all chatGPT drawings
Topics between the two of us adults:
3+5x7=?A:"56?"B:"No, it should be 38, multiply and divide first, then add and subtract." Five-seven-thirty-five, plus three, isn't that thirty-eight?" A: "Oh, I see. Thanks a lot. ”
Topics for adults and children:
3+5x7=?Child: Bite the pen to read the topic, look up at you again, and don't speak.
After two minutes, your blood pressure rises: "Don't look at me!
You suppress your emotions and say to yourself, he's just a kid, I have to be patient.
You: "Isn't the school teaching? You try to give an answer first, it's okay if you're wrong!" The child hesitated, and under your encouraging eyes, he thought for a long time, and cautiously tested: "19?"
Your blood pressure spikes instantly: "19!?How can it be 19!?Can you tell me how to calculate 19?"
The child looked at the question for a long time, then looked at you, and continued to probe: "21?"
Your blood pressure continues to soar: "21?!Why don't you guess 23!?"
The child breathed a sigh of relief and immediately wrote the answer: "23." ”......
Why is it easy to be anxious to help children with homework?
One day you get caught on a spaceship by aliens. You're well fed and clothed on the spaceship, and the aliens seem to be nice to you.
You can't understand what they're saying, you can't understand their instruments, you can't understand what they're doing, you just know that they're better than everyone you know.
One day, one of the aliens comes to you and says, "Come here, I've got to teach you something." "You were very suspicious, but you couldn't beat him, so you obediently stepped forward.
"I'm going to teach you the simplest today: enter the space of Ikbarved and modify the Arian Arkham cosmological constant by changing the Currij rate. ”
You're dumbfounded, these terms are unheard of by you.
The alien was surprised to see that you didn't move: "I didn't expect you to be so stupid, you can't even do this! Forget it, I'll demonstrate." He held out a hand, and immediately a bunch of things appeared out of thin air around him that you hadn't seen before.
Countless equally strange graphics flew out of it, each with a dazzling amount of detail that you didn't know anything about......
"Alright, done. Simple, let's do it!"
For the first time, you are faced with such a huge amount of incomprehensible information, and your brain is rushed, and you are stammered, and you don't know what to do. "What's the matter, dumb, do it for me! idiot!"
The alien shoots an angry laser that burns you all over.
"Ah, this, uh, don't be angry, how, how did you get into that space? I really listened, I ...... it."
"Fool! use your Rachmol power!"
First of all, by perturbing the giant energy dark ions, the new moment changes, and when the linear ratio of 0.1145141919810 is reached, the tightly coupled membrane can reach the critical point of the all-homogeneous width cone. Do you understand?"
"I ......" you don't understand a word, but you smell your own meat being scorched by the laser. So you say, "I understand." "Then you learn to do it. ”
There was a long silence again. "You won't?" the alien broke the silence. The tone is very gentle, you think the storm has passed, but the next second you realize that you are wrong.
"Then you said you understood?!Did you know that I taught you this for your good??I think you kid is so ungrateful!Do you know how hard it was for me to get you on the ship?!"......
In fact, many adults think that things that are common sense, but children do not understand.
When children listen to our lectures, they actually feel the same way we feel when we face aliens. We think it's so simple that we don't need to explain it, and we don't understand it when we try our best for our children.
Because the cognition of both parties is not on the same level, we cannot use our own level to be strict with our children.
A child's world is never self-explanatory, everything has to be learned from scratch. When we want to get angry, we have to think that the child never asked us to take him on the boat.
The process of lecturing is a process of accompaniment, communication, and exploration, which requires patience, methods, and time. In this way, when I became a parent, I found out that the nine-year compulsory education was actually educating me.
After a few rushes in my homework, I found that things were stuck in a loop.
The more irritable I became, the worse the child's mood became, and the two of them were angry at each other, let alone doing homework, and couldn't do anything.
It wasn't until I heard the word: "resilience", someone who studied resilience after it showed:
A child's resilience depends on the resilience of their primary caregiver. To love children, you must first take care of yourself. An exhausted parent is unlikely to do the child any good.
Because parents are "too responsible" in the matter of tutoring homework. Too responsible "supervision" makes the child feel worse.
Children also often misinterpret parental stress and impatience and reinforce the belief that there must be something wrong with them and fall into doubts about their self-worth.
I gave my daughter math enlightenment, taught her for a long time, and asked her how much 5+3 is, and I had to spread my two little fat hands on the table and count them one by one. I didn't even dare to take the test with more than 10 fingers.
I simply enrolled her in a math class, and the teacher told me that their method was:
The number "1" corresponds to one point, "2" corresponds to two points, and "3" is three points......
As he spoke, the teacher poked a pen next to the numbers with the corresponding number of dots.
After a few lessons with this method, my daughter can start brushing the questions when she comes home, and she won't stretch out her fingers to count.
Look, sometimes it's just a professional person who can do professional things.
This kind of abstract thinking stuff, sometimes we can't learn it clearly after shouting and teaching it all night, but the teacher will understand it in a few minutes.
So let's leave the learning to the teacher, some money should be earned by others, and we are responsible for the tuition.
In addition to teaching children how to calculate, the teacher also had two sentences that made me a little stunned as an adult. He said:
"Mathematics is the subject that sees the fastest results (probably just at the elementary level). ”
"Math is all about practice. ”
If I had met this teacher earlier and understood the essence of these two sentences, I would not have failed the math test in school.
Today's school Chinese homework, my daughter wrote a not-so-beautiful Chinese character, and I can see that she is not particularly satisfied with that character.
She looked at me, and I knew she wanted to erase the word, so I helped her erase the unsightly word.
Unexpectedly, she was very grateful, suddenly came over and hugged me, and said happily, "Mom!"
I just erased an ugly word for her, insignificant, and she reacted like I had done something great for her. It seems that the matter of tutoring homework, the honey of A and the arsenic of B, is not all sad.