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Ding Yongdai is an experienced actor who has struggled in the film and television industry for many years. In the hit drama "The World", he successfully played the role of Zhou Zhigang, and won the honor of Best Supporting Actor at the Magnolia Award at the Shanghai TV Festival, which also attracted more attention.
Although Ding Yongdai has played various father roles through excellent acting skills, his relationship with his biological son Ding Ning is not as harmonious and beautiful as his performance on the screen.
There are irreconcilable differences between his father and him, and this issue has always been an unspeakable knot in his heart behind Ding Yongdai's success.
Ding Yongdai's education method for his son Ding Ning was extremely strict and old-fashioned, he not only used corporal punishment, but also often used words to humiliate his son to achieve educational results. For example, when Ding Ning was playful and didn't want to go home, he would become very angry and directly slapped his son.
Ding Ning's body was relatively thin, and Ding Yongdai humiliated him for this, calling him "short" and forcing him to get up early every day to exercise. This practice was widespread at the time, but it had a certain negative impact on Ding Ning's growth.
Ding Ning has lacked the companionship and love of his parents since he was a child, and his personality has gradually become withdrawn and introverted. Ding Yongdai's stern style exacerbated his son's low self-esteem and made the relationship between father and son more and more estranged.
After Ding Ning was admitted to a Canadian university when he grew up and developed his career there, his father Ding Yongdai asked him to give up his achievements and return to China for development, but Ding Ning refused. This makes Ding Yongdai's strong fatherly love become a deep-rooted knot in the relationship between the two.
Ding Yongdai successfully played the role of a loving father in the TV series, but in the family, he has a tense relationship with his biological son. He longs for his son to conform to his arrangement, but the overly strict paternal love does not have the desired effect.
If he can put aside his prejudices and understand his son's thoughts, perhaps the father and son will still have the possibility to resolve their differences. But now, the son's antipathy for his father has brought their relationship to an insurmountable chasm.
This experience also filled Ding Yongdai's life with unspeakable regrets.
The love story of Ding Yongdai and his wife Zhao Xuehua is simple and straightforward, without a gorgeous appearance, but their relationship is firm and solid.
Their first encounter was not romantic. Ding Yongdai is introverted, and Zhao Xuehua only felt "big difficulty" when he first met him. It wasn't until one day that Zhao Xuehua appeared in a pair of gorgeous red shoes, and Ding Yongdai changed his opinion of her and took the initiative to approach.
His way of pursuing Zhao Xuehua is simple and straight, such as making a pot of unpalatable black steamed buns for her with his own hands. However, his sincere pursuit gradually moved Zhao Xuehua. The two quickly established a relationship, and then quickly got married, without any sense of ceremony, just a simple dinner party to celebrate.
Although their start was very simple, this did not affect the warming of their relationship. When Ding Yongdai succeeded in his career, his feelings for Zhao Xuehua never changed, and he always loved her deeply. In order to take better care of the family, Zhao Xuehua resolutely gave up her job and became a full-time housewife.
Even in middle age, the relationship between the two is still very stable, and there have never been any scandals. This kind of simple and profound emotion is particularly valuable in the entertainment industry.
Ding Yongdai has always been troubled because Ding Ning chose to stay in Canada instead of returning to China to develop his career.
While attending university in Canada, Ding Ning made a name for himself in the local film industry with his own efforts, and his achievements gradually became prominent. However, Ding Yongdai repeatedly persuaded his son to give up the development opportunities in Canada and return to China to develop in the entertainment industry with the help of his identity as a "second generation star".
But Tinning wanted to be independent and not rely on his father's influence to get ahead, so he insisted on forging his own path in Canada.
Now Ding Ning is 36 years old, still insisting on living and working alone in Canada, and did not follow his father's request to return to China. The differences between father and son are still irreconcilable.
This has become a knot in Ding Yongdai's heart. He is also worried, because Ding Ning is still unmarried, and he cannot meet his request that "he must marry a Chinese girl".
Ding Yongdai often blames himself, if he was not so strict with his son back then, maybe his son would trust and rely on him more, and be more likely to obey his expectations.
Although he succeeded in establishing a happy married life, he had difficulty controlling the situation when it came to guiding his son to start a family. His son's marriage became a knot in his life that was difficult to untie.
When Ding Yongdai was facing the beauty of his career and marriage, he was never able to reconcile the estrangement from his biological son, which made him feel painful in his heart.
As a father, Ding Yongdai worked hard to support his family, but his excessively strict education method caused his son to not feel his love and unable to communicate and understand, and finally his son chose to go away from home to support himself.
If Ding Yongdai hadn't resorted to corporal punishment and reduced criticism and humiliation to his son, his son might not have felt so much disgust towards him, and their relationship would not have become so awkward and indifferent.
Paternal love should not be based on punishment and power, but should be filled with warmth, encouragement, and understanding.
When children become adults, they also need their own life plans. Therefore, parents need to learn to let go and give their children room to grow. It is not appropriate to force children to do what they want.
Ding Ning chose to develop in Canada because of his specific considerations. His father should not force him to give up his career and return to China.
The tragedy of the father-son relationship is worth pondering for every father, not only in terms of material support, but also in the need for spiritual communication. At the same time, parents need to learn to switch roles when their children become adults, becoming life coaches rather than issuing orders.
The relationship between Ding Yongdai and Ding Ning may still be eased, and time will make them gradually forget the original trauma. I believe that Ding Yongdai will gradually accept his son's choice.
The most important thing is that these two people need to open their hearts, use tolerance and understanding to heal the past hurts, and re-establish a father-son relationship that transcends time and space.
Ding Yongdai's life experience is worth pondering for every parent. The father-son relationship, whose blood is thicker than water, needs to be nourished with love in the accumulated interactions, rather than relying on punishment and power to maintain it.
Parents need to learn to put themselves in their children's shoes and put themselves in their shoes.
Life is a long road, I believe that Ding Yongdai and Ding Ning can find the right way to resolve the pain of the past, rebuild family affection, and understand and encourage each other. Time is able to heal the rift between them and allow them to rediscover the emotional harmony between father and son.