The small dishes in the foam box on the balcony are the treasures of old Zheng who lives in a row house in Hangzhou.
Old Zheng, who has come to Hangzhou to help his son with his baby for 16 years and is about to celebrate his 80th birthday, has a thought that is getting stronger and stronger.
Go back to your hometown.
Being an old drifter in Hangzhou for so many years is a choice that old Zheng is both willing and entangled. The little son who came to Hangzhou to help this baby was old Zheng himself.
The younger son was excellent.
Coming out of the countryside, working hard in Hangzhou, marrying and having children by his own ability, buying a house and changing a row house, "I didn't help him except for college."
To help with the baby, Lao Zheng felt obliged.
But he didn't expect that this gang had been 16 years.
The neighbors in his hometown are envious of him: Hangzhou is such a good house to live in, go out is the Qiantang River, sons and grandchildren are around, how good.
Whenever he hears this, Old Zheng always laughs: Hangzhou is really good.
But the next half of the sentence he hid in his heart: No matter how good Hangzhou is, he still wants to go back to his hometown.
Why doesn't Hangzhou have a good hometown?
Old Zheng thought about it for a long time, and the answer did not seem to be very clear.
He finally gave two words: free.
"We're a bunch of people who don't even have roots." Aunt Wu, who has been in Hangzhou from Jinhua for 14 years, feels that her life seems to be able to see at a glance.
She had three children, two sons and a daughter, and each of them had a grandchild, and a daughter was born. "I brought up this, and then I brought up that, the eldest grandson of the daughter's family has gone to the third year of junior high school, I think I always have to be liberated, but she gave birth to a second child a few years ago, and now the little grandson has just entered kindergarten." 」
Aunt Wu's life of hanging drift has thus been lengthened.
And what she knew more clearly in her heart was that the hometown she had thought about going back to a million times was no longer the original hometown.
For her, staying in Hangzhou in the future seems more realistic than staying in Hangzhou in her hometown. Although she still remembers her hometown to this day.
45%。 This is the latest statistics of the Wanjia Xingcheng community in Dongxin Street, Gongshu District, Hangzhou, on the elderly in the community.
More than 45% of the elderly who live in this community with an average price of more than 50,000 square meters are old drifters like Lao Zheng.
They transport their grandchildren to and from school, prepare three meals a day at home, and always seem to be busy.
What do they crave and worry about? What are you afraid of? What is happening between them and their children and grandchildren, between their new neighbors, and between the city of Hangzhou?
Old Zheng, 80 years old, Hang Drift for 16 years
He lives in a mansion by the Qiantang River, but he wants to return to his hometown more and more
In addition to finding circles,
There is also the question of how to get along with my son day and night
Loneliness slowly disappears after finding the circle, but another problem arises: how to get along with children day and night.
When he was old, he was the head of the family in his hometown, and when he arrived at his son's house, everything changed. His former values, ways of doing things, living habits, parenting concepts, etc. are all facing practical challenges in his daily life.
The nearly 80-year-old Zheng lives in a mansion by his son's Qiantang River, but he wants to go back to his hometown more and more.
After his son, Mr. Zheng, saw the report of the hourly news, he called the hourly news.
"Returning to his hometown is actually just what he thinks he is comfortable with, and with the change of the objective environment, people's mentality has also changed." Mr. Zheng said that originally let his father come to Hangzhou, he really wanted them to enjoy happiness: "My parents are people who have worked hard for most of their lives, and we also invited our aunt to do sanitation at home. ”
The original intention is good, but the reality is all kinds of fine friction.
Leaving aside for a moment the great differences in educational concepts, the mere inconsistency of views on life has exhausted both fathers and sons.
For example, the use of the tv remote control, in addition to the switch, FM key, the old man knows nothing, inadvertently touched a button, the TV appeared snowflakes. I have taught it many times, but I still can't learn it.
For example, in the past two years, the family has used chopsticks for eating, and the old man still likes to use his chopsticks directly to pick and choose in the vegetable bowl.
These are not major events, and what makes Mr. Zheng chafy is Old Zheng's attitude.
Whenever such a small friction appeared, as soon as Mr. Zheng opened his mouth, Old Zheng would exhale and say, "I want to go back." ”
Mr. Zheng was full of gratitude for the efforts of his parents to leave their hometown, but the old father did this three or four times, and Mr. Zheng also felt tired.
He interpreted his father's behavior as "willful." "As I get older, people's abilities are declining, and they can't do everything as well as before. Gradually, there were many constraints around me, but everyone yearned for freedom, so contradictions appeared. ”
When Old Zheng turned "going back to his hometown" into a mantra, Mr. Zheng was also thinking in his heart: Can he really go back? Will you be able to have the "ease" he wants when you go back?
In the past 16 years, the rural environment has also changed, and many of my father's childhood friends have passed away, and they can no longer talk with people in the same village. "In fact, he is used to life in Hangzhou." Mr. Zheng said that his father walked around the community every day after dinner, chatted with the neighbor's old man about national events, and often returned home with fun.
Father really wants to return to his hometown, facing a new integration, and once the elderly live alone, the quality of life will decline sharply, "three meals are OK, health is not exquisite." ”
Mr. Zheng himself is almost 50 years old.
The eyes start to age, and the things are not so clear.
He also truly understood that his father often lost everything and was not so hygienic, all because he was unable to do so.
If you don't obey the old, you will naturally have a confrontation with life.
Mr. Zheng feels that this is not a problem of his father and himself, but a problem of the whole society. "How to let the elderly grow old gracefully, I think the elderly should correctly understand aging, conform to this law, and let go of themselves, do not compete with themselves, it is very important to serve the elderly."
Old Cha, 66 years old, hang drifted for 11 years
Such a small matter as taking the bus is enough to repel the confidence of being in the hometown
From Anhui to Hangzhou:
My generation runs with our children
Compared with Lao Zheng, who lives in a row house, 66-year-old Zha Qingyun has a shorter career in Hangzhou.
This year is his eleventh year in Hangzhou from Anhui.
In 2010, 55-year-old Zha Qingyun retired from the Huaining branch of Sinopec Anhui Anqing Petroleum Company and came to Hangzhou with his wife to prepare for the new life that was about to be ushered in.
"My generation is running with our children."
The son and daughter-in-law are dual-career families, usually busy at work, and want them to come to Hangzhou in advance to help the lining.
From the small county town of Anqing in Anhui Province to the rapid development of Hangzhou, Zha Qingyun is very uncomfortable. "In Anhui hometown is very idle, coming to Hangzhou is a new environment and new things."
Such a small thing as taking a bus is enough to repel Zha Qingyun's self-confidence in his hometown.
"Once I took a bus to Santang, in fact, it was only nine kilometers away, but I sat for two hours, and when I first came, I was not familiar with it, and I felt that the bus was very complicated to sit on, unlike our small place."
After staying in his hometown in Anhui for decades, and suddenly came to Hangzhou, where he was not familiar with life, Zha Qingyun did not dare to chat with others in the community at first, "I myself did not speak Mandarin well, communication was not very convenient, and I did not dare to talk casually." ”
Finding the fulcrum of a new life:
Find a circle and fill yourself up
The eldest granddaughter was born in 2011 and is now in the fourth grade of primary school; the younger granddaughter born in 2018 is also in kindergarten.
Zha Qingyun and his wife live in Wanjia Star City. The family and mother also live in Hangzhou. A few years ago, my son and daughter-in-law took my granddaughter to live at both ends, one week to live in my grandparents' house, and one week to live with my grandparents: "Now that the granddaughters are studying, it has become that the four of us old people take turns to go to our son's house to take the grandchildren." ”
In Zha Qingyun's view, he was already relatively lucky in the old Hangzhou drift.
Zha Qingyun likes to play tai chi, and when he first came to Hangzhou to live near the sports park, he silently followed behind the crowd.
After moving into Wanjia Star City in 2013, Zha Qingyun also insisted on practicing tai chi every morning, and gradually, a second and third person joined in, and now, the community tai chi team has more than a dozen members: "I later took the initiative to chat with them, and there were also people who let me teach tai chi, so let's exercise together." ”
After having a circle in Hangzhou, Zha Qingyun gradually regained his vitality.
He still has a video of leading the community Tai Chi team to participate in the competition last year on his mobile phone, "I won the first prize, everyone is very happy." ”
Playing tai chi is the first step, and Zha Qingyun, who can't sit idle, is still forcing himself to learn new things, "to enrich himself."
When Zha Qingyun first came to Hangzhou, he found a job in file management. The work content is all learned from scratch, but he is very happy to learn, "it is good to be exposed to new knowledge and young colleagues, and to pick up his granddaughter when he leaves work."
The son and daughter-in-law often advised Zha Qingyun to let him rest at home, but Zha Qingyun felt that these exchanges were an important part of his life in Hangzhou, "Now the little granddaughter does not have to bring it during the day, at night my wife picks me up, I am a character who can't get idle, and I am still very happy and valuable to hear others call me 'Teacher Cha'." ”
Now 66-year-old Zha Qingyun has moved his hukou to Gongshu District, "which is also half old Hangzhou."
Zha Qingyun and his wife both like Hangzhou and like the environment and personnel here. "Every time we go home, the villagers are very envious that we can follow our children to Hangzhou, because the city has a high degree of civilization and good development."
Nostalgia still often lingers in Zha Qingyun's mind.
He couldn't let go of his old mother from his hometown. "I go back to Anhui three or four times a year, at least once in the Qingming Dynasty, once after the new year, and once on National Day."
Zhou Liying, 69 years old, Hang Drift for 5 years
The "strong woman" who ran the factory in her hometown came to Hangzhou to take the baby
"It's just feeling tired, that kind of tiredness of being trapped"
Into
It is the first problem encountered by "strong women"
Zhou Liying, dressed in red, happened to be "working" at the neighborhood committee.
Last year, through the election, she became a member of the Wanjia Xingcheng Community Neighborhood Committee, and every weekday, she had to work half-day shifts. The work content is small and tedious, and the residents can find her for big and small things, but she enjoys it.
Although Mandarin is not standard, she is quite confident, and when she encounters unspeakable vocabulary, she will write it down. It's not easy for a 69-year-old.
Zhou Liying is also a member of the old drift.
She is a Zhuji person, seven brothers and sisters in the family, and she is in the middle of the line. Don't look at her only junior high school education, but do things seriously, dare to dare to do, when she was young, she was a technical expert in the local machinery factory, and later followed the old open factory, from the hardware business to the sock factory to the sizing factory, the largest time, there were more than 40 workers under it.
Zhou Liying is responsible for external procurement and liaison, and is a veritable "strong woman" in the 80s and 90s of the last century.
Her three children, who grew up in the factory, saw the hardships of their parents. After working for two years, the eldest daughter opened a company in Hangzhou. Zhou Liying closed her factory to help her daughter manage it.
Five years ago, she completely dropped off her job and returned to her family. "My sons and daughters didn't let me do it, and at that time, when my little grandson was born, I came back to take the child."
The house of Wanjia Xingcheng is the younger son's, the daughter-in-law is a Hangzhou Zhuantang person, very easy to get along with, and there is an aunt in the family. "Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children are all things that take care of the handle, but they are tired, and I don't feel tired in the factory before."
Accustomed to going south and north, suddenly trapped by family trivia, Zhou Liying is indeed not adaptable. His wife likes to read books and newspapers, and no matter how long she is, she enjoys it, but the lively Zhou Liying feels trapped.
"No one knows you when you go out. I speak Mandarin also in standard. ”
The 64-year-old Zhou Liying suddenly had the feeling of her grandson's first day of kindergarten: strange, uneasy, and lonely.
Everywhere in the country are people who know each other, and you can chat for half a day when you enter a house, but it is different here.
Integration, when the strong woman Zhou Liying becomes the old drifter Zhou Liying, it is also a problem.
Hangzhou dialect is very well spoken,
But she said, "Hangzhou is no better than the hometown."
You can't concede defeat so easily.
Zhou Liying began to carry her grandson downstairs.
In the process of "shaking the child", she met many peers. "Some chat a few words, quite a good deal, I took the initiative to add people's WeChat." Some of them were added to me first, and a few of them were our fellow villagers. ”
Zhou Liying's current mobile phone, WeChat groups have more than a dozen, community groups, activity groups, messages one after another jumped out. Where there are cheap dishes to buy, where there are activities to receive gifts, everyone shouts in the group, she participates, very fulfilled.
In addition to "going to work", she also volunteers, works as a traffic controller twice a week, supervises garbage sorting, and participates in various activities organized by the community, such as learning to speak Hangzhou dialect and learning to cook Hangzhou cuisine. Now not only will you make sweet and sour ribs, West Lake vinegar fish, fried bells and other Hangzhou dishes, but also pop out of the Hangzhou dialect from time to time.
Despite this, when it comes to the house in her hometown, her eyes will glow, "Hangzhou is no better than the hometown." The small building of our house is three stories high, and the height of the first floor is 3.8 meters, which is big. "Although the house in Hangzhou is now 138 square meters, the grandchildren have grown up and their clothes have nowhere to go."
As long as she returned to her hometown, she called in advance, and the old sisters would gather at home, and everywhere they went, they would be able to say hello. "I lived in Zhuji with my wife and children for half a month, learned to dance square dance and play waist drums, and didn't want to go back to Hangzhou when I went."
Zhou Liying is also very clear in her heart, "Most of our generation is working hard for the next generation, my three children are in Hangzhou, and they will definitely follow hangzhou." ”
Zhou Liying learned Alipay and WeChat, and even online ride-hailing will play. Before the epidemic, every Spring Festival, she and her wife would spend abroad with their children.
"My old man said that he was going back to his hometown in the future. I can't say for sure. Zhou Liying finally said.
Source: Qianjiang Evening News Hourly News Reporter Yang Qian Trainee Reporter Pan Lu Correspondent Zhao Jiyan and Yang Baby
Column Editor-in-Chief: Zhang Wu Text Editor: Li Linwei Title Image Source: Figure Worm Image Editor: Su Wei
Source: Author: Qianjiang Evening News