-01
No more "whining" to people
Mr. Lu Xun said:
"Human emotions are not interconnected, I just think they are noisy. ”
You need to understand that in this world, empathy is always a scarce quality.
Those who can empathize are always in awe;
For most people, the inability to empathize is the norm.
There's nothing inherently wrong with complaining about it.
Everyone needs to have an emotional outlet.
When I encounter difficulties, worries, and troubles, I share them with my family and friends;
In the process of complaining, a person can relieve their stress and also crave understanding and comfort.
But what about the reality?
Not only will your complaints go unnoticed, but they will also be despised by others.
"What's the big deal, are you like that?"
"You can't stand such a small setback anymore, can you?"
The more people you meet, the more you'll understand:
In this world, there is really no compassion.
Truly enlightened people vent their frustrations in other ways than sharing them with others.
In other words:
When you are able to suppress your desire to complain, your mindset changes.
-02
The relationship with TA personnel will be re-evaluated
Social Truth:
The stability of your relationships with others does not depend on how long you know each other or how good your relationship is;
It just depends on the value of a person.
The higher the utilization value, the more they can meet each other's needs, and the more stable the relationship will be.
Human socialization can be divided into "utilitarian socialization" and "emotional socialization".
People who live in idealism tend to be more inclined to "emotional socialization";
Talk about friendship, loyalty, and devotion.
Enlightened people are more inclined to think about "utilitarian socialization";
Talk about values, talk about circles, talk about everyone taking what they need.
The truth is the same.
Even if you and the other person are friends who grew up together, the relationship will fade away;
Unless you have a mutually beneficial relationship, you can ensure a win-win situation for each other.
Reevaluate your relationships with others.
Don't think that others will help you unconditionally and meet your needs;
Don't overestimate your own importance in the hearts of others.
Whether you are important or not depends entirely on whether you are worth a lot or not.
Because human beings themselves are lonely and have to face everything alone.
-03
Doesn't care about what others say
In Adler's psychology, there is a famous theory called "topic separation".
Include:
The separation of love, the separation of society, the separation of families.
Separate your affairs from those of the other party;
separating oneself from others;
Separate your boundaries from those of others.
The core is:
Respect yourself and others;
Protect yourself and establish boundaries.
Even if the other person is your parent or child;
You should also respect each other and not forcibly interfere with each other's wishes and lives.
Your life is you, you are you;
Other people's lives are theirs, and how you make decisions is none of your business.
Enlightened people understand:
There is no point in caring about the opinions and evaluations of others;
Outside voices will only affect your correct judgment.
What do you do, what do you like, and what does it have to do with others?
-04
Abandon the "help complex"
What is the "Help Complex"?
In fact, it is also a desire for redemption, a manifestation of personal heroism.
For example:
Always want to make decisions on behalf of others and believe that you are right;
Always want to change other people's living habits and regulate their lives;
Always want others to live their lives according to their own wishes;
Seeing others in trouble, he is particularly enthusiastic;
If others don't take the initiative to ask, he will also take the initiative to help.
What is the result?
Unable to change the other party, falling into internal friction;
In the process of changing the other side, the strong resistance of the TA led to the creation of contradictions.
The greatest tragedy of humanity is:
I haven't figured out my own life yet, so I'm busy researching other people's lives.
I want to interfere in other people's affairs until I'm done solving my own problems.
Everyone is an individual.
There are advantages and disadvantages;
There are good and bad sides.
Both the good and the bad are factors that make up the integrity of others.
Enlightened people have long since let go of the "help complex".
People need introspection to gain great freedom.