At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was smoke everywhere, and there were small circles everywhere, each seeking its own profits.
Cao Cao worked hard to expand his circle of friends, and also said: "Confidants are dead and forgetful." ”
He also said, "Are there any people in the world who wear coarse cloth clothes, but who are really talented and learned? They should be like Jiang Ziya." Recommend all these people to me. ”
He established Tongquetai in Yecheng, organized the establishment of the "Ye Wenren Group", and made friends with elegant people.
However, the more you go on, the more you understand that it is not up to you to gather and disperse, and those who come with utilitarianism will eventually go with utilitarianism.
The interpersonal communication of middle-aged people is like what is said in "Let's Listen to the Wind": "If you don't have any friends, then congratulations, it proves that you have matured." ”
In the end, I learned to be a gregarious person who no longer made friends.
01
When people reach middle age, no one is simple.
The thinker Belinsky said: "True friends do not pay lip service to friendship, they do not demand anything from each other for the sake of friendship, but do everything they can for each other." ”
When we were children, we were very naïve, we were good with our playmates, we just held hands and walked together, even if we broke up, at most we said "I won't play with you", and after a few days, we were reconciled again.
It's different in middle age, friends break up, they don't get along with each other, and they even become enemies.
Cao Cao and Yuan Shao have been trick-or-treating together since childhood, and they also went to rob the bride.
In order to crusade against Dong Zhuo, Yuan Shao and a group of princes gathered, and Cao Cao was also mixed in.
But the princes only drank and had fun, and no one was willing to charge.
Cao Cao said: "What are you hesitating about? ”
No one responded to Cao Cao, and Yuan Shao, as the head of the princes, was also indifferent.
As a last resort, Cao Cao led a group of his men to fight with Dong Zhuo's troops in Bianshui, but failed, and he was also shot by an arrow.
Later, the Battle of Guandu broke out, and Cao Cao and Yuan Shao faced each other across the river.
After Yuan Shao was defeated by Cao Cao, he died of illness not long after. Cao Cao walked to Yuan Shao's grave and wept bitterly.
"The boat of friendship will be overturned", it is not who does not value love and righteousness, it is not who does not remember the beauty of childhood, but they are running around for life, standing on different positions and having different ideas.
"When we grow up, we are still friends", this sentence is a joke in the end. When you reach middle age, you basically don't count, no one is naïve, and you don't know what to say.
02
When people reach middle age, everyone pursues profits.
In "Krylov's Fables", it is said: "You must be cautious when choosing friends! Authentic selfishness will put on the mask of friendship, but set a trap to trap you." ”
Yes, sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference between friend and foe.
In other words, one moment is a friend, the other is an enemy, people's identities are changing, people's social relationships are changing.
When people reach middle age, they no longer live for themselves, they have to protect the interests of the circle, and they must take into account the "ambition" of the family, as well as the "ambition" in their hearts.
His father, Cao Song, was murdered by Mu Taoqian in Xuzhou, and Cao Cao always remembered this hatred.
When Cao Cao attacked Xuzhou and wanted to eliminate Tao Qian, Liu Bei was Tao Qian's subordinate.
After Tao Qian passed away, Liu Bei became a pastor in Xuzhou, and Lu Bu, who was like a lost dog, also took refuge in Liu Bei.
Lu Bu is a person with changeable character, and after recuperating on Liu Bei's territory, he sneaked up on Liu Bei.
Liu Bei, who was desperate, took refuge in Cao Cao.
Many people suggested that Liu Bei be killed immediately.
Cao Cao smiled and said, "It's the time to recruit heroes, how can you do this?"
Later, Liu Bei found an opportunity to break away from Cao Cao and defend Pei County. Cao Cao personally led his troops to attack, Liu Bei was defeated and fled, and his sworn brother Guan Yu and Liu Bei's wife and children were captured.
Later, Liu Bei occupied Jingzhou, and Cao and Liu met in Chibi, contributing to a three-legged pattern.
Cao Cao regarded Guan Yu as a hero, and also used Guan Yu to kill Yan Liang, the general under Yuan Shao.
It's a pity that Guan Yu still left, and Cao Cao saw him off.
"The Tao is not the same", this sentence is vividly reflected in middle-aged people.
Cao Cao cherished the hero Guan Yu, but Guan Yu was Liu Bei's brother.
When people reach middle age, they are panicked, not for a few taels of silver, but for a good position. There is a period of time, you will meet people who pursue profit together, but after getting benefits, or when you are in a different position, you will have to part ways.
Don't bother with any friends, it's just a group of people under the banner of friends, seeking benefits. Those who push the cup and change the lamp, keep saying "brother", you don't take it seriously. Put down your glasses and take your seats.
03
When people reach middle age, no one can help themselves.
How many people are helpless, but still have to be relied on by their relatives?
There are old and young, and if you have a little trouble, you will have to involve a group of people.
Bi Chen, who was beside Cao Cao, learned that his wife and children were kidnapped by Zhang Miao, so he hurriedly resigned, saying: "I want to go to Zhang Miao......"
At that time, Zhang Miao was Cao Cao's opponent, and if Cao Cao succeeded in letting Bi Chen resign, he thought that his opponent would be like a tiger, but Cao Cao nodded and agreed, saying: "Filial piety is great." There you go. ”
After Zhang Miao was defeated by Cao Cao, Bi Chen was captured alive.
Cao Cao said: "A person who is filial to his parents is exactly the person we need." I don't blame the past. ”
There are also Wei Chong, Zhang Xiu and others, although they betrayed Cao Cao, they were forgiven in the end.
When people reach middle age, whether in the workplace or in the business field, they often face the problem of standing in line. One moment an enemy, another a friend, another a stranger. But no matter what the role, you have to be tolerant.
Running for life, no one can escape. If you are demanding to have friends, it will be difficult for you to be strong.
Only by empathizing and understanding the difficulties of others can you accept the mistakes of others, and even hurt you, which is the so-called "empathy".
04
Writer Yishu said: "To be a friend is about merit and demerit, and in the days of acquaintance, if you add up to more merit than demerits, this friend can still be maintained." ”
Not all friendships last forever. If you walk and walk, you will disperse, and you don't have to worry about it.
When you reach middle age, no one's life is easy, and when you mix in the social circle, you just want to ask for something, how can you have the heart to make friends.
After middle age, if there are still people who contact you and catch up together, it is good enough.
Since you are destined to have no friends, then don't force it, people, in the end, rely on yourself.
Cao Cao Youyun: "How long the world is, how short is humanity." ”
People in heaven and earth are just moments, they care too much, they are too tired.
No matter who you meet, it's enough.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.
Reference: Romance of the Three Kingdoms.