做人，三年学说话，一生学闭嘴。
When we reach the age of 50, we are the head of the family, and we are looking forward to what the family will do.
On the one hand, we must think about retirement, and on the other hand, we must arrange the future of our children, there are enough things, and we must not make extraneous complications and put the family in a difficult situation.
Therefore, when you go out, you must understand: if you don't say three things to people, you will have nothing to do in the world.
01
Don't talk about unfinished things: children are looking for a partner, but they have not yet succeeded, and if they say it, they will make jokes and be easily ruined.
There is a saying: "I haven't skimmed the eight characters yet." ”
Yes, too many things are just premeditated, or there are only a few signs, and if you look at things as "results", you are deceiving yourself.
As a parent, the biggest thing is the marriage of children. I really hope that my children will find a good person to be with them for a lifetime.
If the children are married and have a career, and their parents are old, they will have a certain amount of support, at least they will be very happy.
Many people wish everyone in the world knew that their children had found a partner and their lives were thriving. Actually, it's bragging, showing off.
You have to understand that what you show off, what you lack, what you will probably lose.
There is a saying in "Han Feizi: Difficult to Say": "The husband is made by secret, and the words are defeated." It may not be that his body is discharged, but that he is in danger of talking about what he is hiding. ”
If things don't work out, you just talk about it, and that's going to do harm.
My aunt has two sons at home, the eldest son is in his thirties and has not yet married, so he is anxious about the family.
Last winter, the eldest son found a divorced woman and the conversation was in full swing.
In front of the villagers, the aunt straightened her waist and said, "Look, my son has not beaten a bachelor after all." ”
Some villagers had a holiday with their aunt, so they secretly inquired about the situation, and went to the aunt's prospective daughter-in-law's house and said all the bad things.
After a while, the aunt found out that the prospective daughter-in-law went to Dongguan to work, and said, "I don't plan to get married all these years."
Human nature cannot be looked at directly, and my aunt suffered a dumb loss because of this.
Someone else ridiculed the aunt: "Your son is so useless, he can't even handle a divorced woman." ”
Since then, my aunt doesn't know how to raise her head and behave.
When the day of the marriage of the children is about to be married, they will invite relatives and friends to a banquet and make it public; it is good to know how the marriage of the children is, don't complain about bad things, don't exaggerate good things, outsiders will know very little, and there will be fewer "stalks" of all kinds.
02
Don't talk about privacy: family scandals, handled at home, if you say it, you will become a laughing stock, and you will be pinched by people.
Liu Bowen said: "The gold and jade are outside, and the defeat is in it." ”
This sentence has two meanings: one is that something that looks good on the outside may be tattered on the inside, such as "embroidered pillows and fabric sofas"; and the other is that no matter how embarrassing it is inside, it is still necessary to be decent for outsiders.
As a family, you should show a good image to outsiders and try to be as kind as possible. In this way, outsiders will help because of a good impression.
After all, no one wants to help a "broken" family. Especially when it comes to borrowing money, who wants to lend money to a family that is about to break up? It will be difficult to collect debts in the future.
People in their fifties will find scandals between husband and wife, scandals in the small families of their children, conflicts between in-laws, scandals in their workplaces, etc.
You must not show up the ugliness yourself, this is the privacy of life.
For a while, a female netizen named "Arctic Catfish" posted about her grandfather's life, and said that her grandfather might be corrupt, and after a while, she told fans that she had a nine-figure deposit at home.
"One stone stirs up a thousand waves", everyone suspects that the netizen's family is really corrupt, and they also dig out the people in the family, who works in the unit, who is studying, and what industry they have.
The power of the Internet has plunged netizens' families into a state of chaos. Regardless of the ending, it's terrible.
On platforms such as "Beijing Youth Daily", it is said that Zhao Qingshu and Fan Dandan, a couple born in the 90s, set up a stall in Yiwu and earn 9,000 a day.
Countless netizens questioned it, and relevant departments also intervened in the investigation. As a last resort, the couple changed their minds, only occasionally for a day or two, with so much income, and it was gross income...... The cost price is also very high, and employees are hired and wages are paid.
When you find that someone is attacking your "soft underbelly", it is actually you who show your "soft underbelly".
People, really don't humiliate yourself, but show the positive energy of life and reflect the happiness of your family. If there is no need, keep a low profile, there are good things in the family, steal the fun, and if there are bad things, get through.
03
Don't say what is right and wrong: the right and wrong outside have nothing to do with you, and if you say it, you will get involved in it, and you will also worry about your family.
In rural areas, many villagers will ask for "middlemen" when they have conflicts.
Once the respected people in the family and the village party secretary intervened in the contradiction and said a few fair words, everyone was convinced, and the contradiction dissipated.
People over 50 are parents and mature people, if there is an opportunity to be a middleman, you must be cautious and don't be thankless.
As a last resort, don't mess with other people's troubles, or stay away.
In "Sun Tzu", it is written: "Giving words to others is more important than pearls and jades, and hurting words is more important than swords." ”
If you don't grasp the scale of words well, it will become a sword, destroy the relationship, and make people resent you.
For example, if someone wants to borrow money, and you guarantee it, which is a good thing at the time, but then someone else doesn't pay back the money, you have to take responsibility for shooting yourself in the foot.
The most heart-wrenching thing is that your affairs are not handled properly, and your family will be unlucky with you. There is a severality.
For the sake of the stability of your family, you don't have to worry about it, and it's redundant to join in the fun.
04
Jia Pingwa wrote in the article: "When you are fifty years old, you will understand that people can't do a few things in their lives, and everything they do is to find their own place. ”
Yes, change according to your age, reorient, and be a place-fitting.
Are you a parent, a grandparent, a parent, a colleague at work, someone else's relatives and friends, a member of the community, or a villager...... Where to go, what song to sing.
If you don't know what to say, just keep silent and laugh it off.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.