Xiao Ming gave his nephew 250 yuan for the New Year's money, which caused an embarrassing relationship between the two families
On the morning of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the sun spilled into the house through the gaps in the curtains, and Xiao Ming opened his eyes and looked at the familiar ceiling above his head, and a burst of joy welled up in his heart. Today is Chinese New Year's Eve, and he can finally take his son Xiaohong home for the New Year.
A few months ago, Xiao Ming told his parents that he was going to bring his family home for the holidays, and his mother was so excited that he told him to come. And the father smiled on the other end of the phone, saying that your brother Xiaoqiang has been looking forward to it for a long time, hurry back and let him meet Changjin's nephew.
When packing his luggage, Xiao Ming specially prepared New Year's money for each nephew and niece. The long-awaited Chinese New Year's Eve dinner soon arrived, and the family sat around the table, enjoying themselves.
After dinner, Xiaoqiang happily gave Xiaohong an envelope of 500 yuan for the New Year. Xiao Ming remembered that the Xi at home was to be equal, and immediately decided to give Xiaoqiang's two children 250 yuan each.
However, when Xiao Ming handed over the money to the children, Xiao Qiang and his wife's faces suddenly changed. The room, which had been laughing and laughing a moment ago, fell into an awkward silence in an instant.
Later, Xiao Ming learned that the meaning of 250 yuan here is not simple. It is believed to mean to demean others, and giving children this amount of New Year's money is equivalent to not taking the other person seriously.
Xiao Ming's kindness turned into disrespect for his elders due to the wrong way of expression.
He looked at his parents and Xiaoqiang's family in distress, thinking that this festive Chinese New Year's Eve dinner had broken irretrievably. The opportunity to enhance the relationship during the New Year inadvertently turned into an oolong, which made people sigh.
Pay attention to the "three don'ts" to avoid faux pas
After the embarrassing Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, Xiao Ming sat alone in the courtyard, thinking about this series of oolong incidents.
He realized that giving New Year's money should not only be based on subjective kindness, but also need to pay attention to the way to express that kindness. If you think about it, there are three points that need special attention, which are the "three don'ts".
First, don't sneak around and give New Year's money. Its delivery process also represents the connection between the two families, and it should be above board, not like a thief.
Second, don't discriminate against children of the same generation. If they are treated unfairly, there will inevitably be misunderstandings and perceptions of contempt or discrimination.
Third, don't give old money or make a mistake to press the New Year's money. This is contrary to the intention of the New Year's refreshment, and it can be considered impolite if used incorrectly.
In addition, the impact of the numerical meaning needs to be considered when determining the specific amount. Don't use negative or confusing numbers from your local area.
At the same time, pay attention to local customs and Xi, be consistent with the standards of other elders or peers, and do not break through without authorization.
Acting solely on subjective judgment without regard to the subject's emotions and position, any good intentions will come to naught. You can't just be rigid when you interact with people, but you need to be flexible to get empathy.
The true meaning of New Year's money is to convey a blessing and love through appropriate methods. Only in this way can it become a bond that strengthens the bond between two generations, rather than just completing a ritual.
Kobayashi repeats the same mistake and continues to affect family relationships
After that year, Xiao Ming's younger brother Xiao Lin encountered a similar situation.
Kobayashi took his son to visit a relative's house. The host welcomed them warmly and pressed 500 yuan for Xiaolin's son. Xiaolin still adheres to the principle of "reciprocity" and also gives 250 yuan to each of the two children of the owner's family.
However, what Xiao Lin didn't expect was that this move once again caused the dissatisfaction of his relatives. The New Year's money, which was supposed to enhance the relationship, once again became the source of the knot between the two families.
Afterwards, Kobayashi blamed himself very much. He recognized that once such a misunderstanding had formed, it would be difficult to explain it clearly, because any subsequent explanation might be seen as a round and insincere word.
Through this personal experience, Kobayashi understands that giving New Year's money cannot be just for the sake of form and ritual. What really matters is to be aware of the other person's feelings, rather than just copying your own ways.
Each family and region has its own unique cultural Xi. If we want to get along with them, we need to put aside our preconceptions and actively understand the differences.
At the same time, you also need to pay attention to whether your own practices are appropriate and appropriate compared to your elders or peers. You can't treat others as you are, but learn to think from the perspective of others.
Relationship building requires both parties to work together. The same is true for giving New Year's money, which not only reflects the heart of the giver, but also represents the feelings of the recipient.
Otherwise, even if you spend money, you will only lose your feelings in vain and leave regrets in vain. This is undoubtedly the least desirable outcome.
What New Year's money is most looking forward to is meaning, and cannot be trapped by form
Through the experiences of Xiao Ming and Xiao Lin, we can get a revelation: the most important thing about New Year's money is the goodwill it conveys, not the size of the amount.
If we only rely on our own way and understanding to give New Year's money, without putting ourselves in the other person's shoes, it is easy to cause unnecessary misunderstandings.
In fact, both feelings and relationships need to be built by both parties. Whether we give money or show concern, we all need to feel each other's emotions with our hearts, not just complete a ritual.
Sometimes we get too attached to the superficial rules and lose sight of the original meaning behind the etiquette. We give not only money, but also a heart; What the other party received was not only the amount, but also this heart.
Therefore, what needs to be paid attention to when giving money is not only to follow certain Xi, but to imagine from the perspective of the other party, and to feel the bits and pieces of life with an understanding and tolerant heart.
Every interaction is a new bond in the relationship. If we grasp these opportunities and let the flowers of goodwill bloom quietly, without being confined to superficial forms, we will naturally reap the benefits of friendship and warmth, and resolve the apologies.
Spending money to please needs to understand the meaning, and courtesy is still cherished
To sum up, when we give New Year's money, we must not just enforce certain rules, but understand the meaning of these rules.
For example, the principle of "reciprocity" seems fair, but we must think about whether the intention is sufficient. Only by understanding the meaning behind it can the care we express be fully felt.
Another example is to avoid certain numbers, which contain the expectation of good wishes. We need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and connect closely with the local culture to ensure that we are polite and appropriate.
In addition, we must always keep in mind that the relationship between the two families is the foundation of the New Year's money. Don't be constrained by superficial rules, but actively establish communication and resolve misunderstandings.
New Year's money is a bridge of feelings, and its meaning is maximized when we see it as a bond between two generations, rather than a formality to complete a task.
The new year is just around the corner, so let's continue this wonderful tradition. When giving New Year's money, feel the joy of the festival with a heart that understands and cherishes.
In the spirit of courtesy, we will convey blessings and love, integrate this warmth into our lives, and continue this friendship.