#Article Debut Challenge##Character Story##Transnational Marriage##Overseas Struggle##Finland##国外定居#
This is the 3,150th real story we have told
When I was working as a teaching assistant in Finland, I never thought that my independence would be killed by an 8-year-old Finnish girl.
It is said that life is like tea, and only after experiencing it can you gain some knowledge.
(Sunset, me and my paddle board)
My name is Pei Yao, born in 95, nickname: Yao to Grandma Bridge, a native of Hong Kong, and his ancestral home is Chongqing.
When I was 9 months old, my father passed away in a car accident, and in order to make a living, my mother went to Shenzhen to work.
I grew up with my grandfather, grandmother, and uncle, and their love for me since I was a child made me grow into a cheerful and laughing girl.
It wasn't until she was in the fifth grade of primary school that her mother met a Hong Kong man through a friend's introduction, and she remarried him. Later, I came to Hong Kong with my mother to live with my current father.
In Hong Kong, it is very common for students to work part-time, and after graduating from high school, I also started a part-time career as a waiter in a café.
My first salary in my life was 4,735 Hong Kong dollars. At that time, I did not hesitate to use the money I earned to buy gifts for my family. The watch he bought for his uncle, which he still wears.
(My grandparents and uncle)
I majored in Mathematics at the Education University of Hong Kong, and during my five years at the University, I was able to arrange my own classes except for the compulsory courses.
I used my spare time to do private tutoring, which made a reputation, and many parents also helped me introduce other students.
If you are diligent, you can earn 8,000 to 10,000 Hong Kong dollars a month. So while I was in college, I covered my own living expenses plus the cost of travel.
At that time, the insurance industry in Hong Kong was very prosperous, and I also took the license to work part-time in an insurance company.
There are a lot of training activities in insurance companies, and here I have seen a different world and learned about finance.
I was fortunate that in less than a year, I signed a large order to pay $1 million over five years, which was appreciated by the supervisor and gave me the opportunity to travel to Japan on a cruise. I took my grandparents on a cruise.
(Cruise with grandparents)
In 2017, I came to the University of Tampere in Finland as an exchange student to study Xi to learn more about the country that is "the world's number one in basic education".
Here, I met a Chinese who came to Finland from Beijing to study, and my current husband, who introduced to me the general situation of Finland. After returning to Hong Kong, he kept in touch with me.
In 2018, I graduated from university with a bachelor's degree. I didn't plan to start working right away, and I was going to Europe or Australia for a one-year working holiday.
Because once you become a teacher, you don't have as much time to play.
(Exchange at the University of Tampere, 2017)
Just as I was thinking about it, he proposed that I go to Finland to continue my studies, and there are scholarships at Finnish universities, some of which can cover tuition fees, and studying abroad is equivalent to only having to pay for my own living expenses, and I can also work part-time in my spare time.
So, I flew back to Finland to meet him a few more times, and soon we were in a relationship, which changed the course of my life.
Come to think of it, everything is fate. If I had been working in Hong Kong at the time, I would not have given up my job and come to Finland with the generous treatment of Hong Kong teachers and the prospects for development that are much better than in Finland.
(Xi at the University of Tampere)
In 2019, I came to Helsinki, Finland again, and soon we got married and had two sons, now 4 years old and almost 2 years old.
When you first settle in Finland, you will have a lot of discomfort. For example, the weather is cold and the winters are long, from November to March of the following year, so the skin and lips are very dry, and no matter how thick the moisturizer is, it will not work.
There is no snow in Chongqing and Hong Kong in winter, but when I came to Finland, I was very fresh and excited to see the snow, and I liked the feeling of shoveling snow in the ice and snow. Also, you can occasionally see the Northern Lights here.
(Aurora in Finland)
Helsinki is located in the south of Finland, and it is important to have your own interests because it has less than seven hours of sunshine in winter, and it gets dark around 4 p.m., and it is cold outside, so you spend most of your time indoors.
In my free time, I learned to bake, skate, and ski.
Summer is very short, from June to August, which is particularly precious.
Finns usually take a long summer holiday with their family to a holiday home in the forest. In summer, the average sunshine hours are up to 20 hours, and it doesn't get dark until 11 p.m. We often lose track of time and come home late to play.
In terms of diet, I am not a picky eater, although I like to eat local food, I missed domestic cuisine very much for a long time, and even started researching recipes myself.
I went from not being a cook to becoming a chef. But in the past few years, I have gradually become Xi to the local food, and now even Yachao rarely goes.
(Birthday cake for kids)
Life in Finland is more casual and slow-paced, which is very different from the fast-paced life in Hong Kong.
Living in Hong Kong is a cosmopolitan city that has taught me to learn about different cultures and to respect them.
Life in Hong Kong is hectic, and Hong Kong people pay attention to efficiency, do things quickly, speak and walk quickly.
Coupled with the high cost of living and the high price of real estate, people have to spend a lot of time at work and run forward for their livelihood. If you pursue material abundance, you will have a lot less time to try or delve into what you like.
When I came to Finland, I became a stay-at-home mom and I started to have a lot of free time in addition to taking care of my children.
When the pace of life slows down and there is plenty of time, I will look inward and think about what else I like and can Xi.
(Our big baby was born)
In Finland, there is a strong focus on work-life balance. After work or on vacation, I will never pay attention to the company's business.
For example, my husband's working hours are flexible, he can go to work at 8 a.m. and come home from work at 4 p.m. to help take care of the children. If you don't have a meeting, you can go to work at 10 a.m. and leave work at 6 a.m.
As a father, being able to participate in the process of raising children will reduce the burden on mothers, both physically and psychologically. It is also good for children's development.
In Finland's parks, you can see fathers and children everywhere, which is a beautiful sight.
When I gave birth, my husband took 6 weeks off work and he helped take care of the baby, which made me feel very happy.
(Dad learns Xi take care of newborns)
It is said that Nordic is boring and people are easily depressed. But I don't think so, the four seasons in Northern Europe are distinct, and each season has a different color and a different activity.
From January to March, you can roll in the snow, build snowmen, build colorful ice walls, watch snow lanterns and aurora lights, in April, you can ride horses, prune trees and plant flowers, and in April, you can go horseback riding, prune trees and plant flowers, and there are Easter festivals, cherry blossom festivals in May, and samba festivals in June, strawberry picking.
In July and August, I take my children to a holiday house in the forest, pick raspberries and blueberries, get close to nature, start a summer vacation, pick mushrooms and play paddle boarding in the colorful autumn from September to October, Halloween in November, and Christmas in December.
As long as you arrange it well, you can live every day to the fullest and relish.
(Holiday home in the forest)
Once a child is born, the focus of life shifts to the child.
Here, you can feel the importance of children and kindness to mothers everywhere. For example, when entering a shopping mall, if it is not an automatic door, someone will help open the door, even if it is an elementary school student, it will take the initiative to help.
Finnish mothers are very willing to take their babies out because it is easy to walk anywhere, every mall has a nursery room with all the equipment that babies need, and usually there are small free children's play equipment next to the nursery room.
Another reason is that in Finland, when taking the metro, bus, train, or tram, the ticket is 3.1 euros per ticket, and you can transfer within 80 minutes. However, as long as the adult (guardian) is pushing a stroller, both the infant and the stroller holder are free of charge.
(Nursery Room)
Finland values children from the time the mother is pregnant. The hospital is free of charge for pregnant women, and the birth of a child is also free, and you only need to pay about 70 euros per day for the bed in the hospital, and 90 euros per day for the family room.
Maternity leave in Finland is called family maternity leave, which is divided into pregnancy leave, special pregnancy leave, family parental leave and parental leave.
Pregnancy leave totals 40 working days, usually starting 30 days before the expected date of delivery, but in industries where there is a risk of damage to the mother or the fetus, special pregnancy leave can begin as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed.
If the employer does not pay you during the pregnancy leave, the social welfare department will pay you a pregnancy allowance.
After the birth of a child, both parents are entitled to parental leave for a total of 320 working days, about 14 months, and the guardian can take turns to use the parental leave, which cannot be used at the same time. However, 18 working days of family maternity leave can be used at the same time.
This is where the child allowance is paid at around 100 euros per month until the child reaches the age of 17.
(Me on the Paddleboard)
After the parental leave ends, you can take parental leave to stay at home and care for the child until the child reaches the age of three. A home care allowance of about 280 euros per month will be given until the child goes to kindergarten.
It is officially announced that children can enter kindergarten after nine months, but it is common in Finns to send children to kindergarten when they are one and a half to two years old.
Both of my children were sent to kindergarten at 1 year and 8 months old. I drop my sons off at 8 a.m. and take them home at 4 p.m. every day, and the kindergarten takes care of breakfast and lunch.
In kindergarten, from 9 months to under 3 years old, 1 teacher can take care of 4 children, and 3-5 years old, 1 teacher can take care of 7 children. Children attend preschool at the age of 6 and can only enter primary school when they are 7 years old.
(I'm skiing)
The kindergarten pays great attention to the cultivation of children's self-care ability, my child will wear socks after a month of kindergarten, and after a month, he will wear gloves again, and at the age of three and a half, he can wear all the clothes by himself, and his self-care ability is very strong.
Every day the kindergarten will have a theme, such as doing crafts on Monday, music on Tuesday, going to the forest on Wednesday, sports on Thursday, and you can bring a toy to school on Friday.
For children whose mother tongue is not Finnish, Kindergarten offers an additional day of Finnish language Xi. Our eldest son can now speak long sentences in Finnish.
(A loving brother taking care of his younger brother)
Most Finnish children are very independent. In primary school, there are handicraft and carpentry classes, where teachers teach children how to use a sewing machine and do some needlework.
In the carpentry class, the children will learn to use saws and screwdrivers, and the school pays special attention to the cultivation of children's hands-on ability. Don't be surprised to see a middle school student assembling furniture alone.
Finnish schools are evenly distributed, and it is not uncommon to hear Finns say, "The nearest school is the best school." ”
The school is convenient and the best about three to five kilometers away from home. To a certain extent, it also saves parents the trouble of finding a school. Because the school is close to home, children can walk or cycle to school on their own in the second and third grades.
(Halloween at school)
I remember one day, in the early morning of the light rain, a girl about 8 years old, wearing a pink helmet, rode a bicycle to go to school by herself.
I remember that after arriving at the station by bus yesterday afternoon, it would take me a few minutes to walk home, and I kept being angry that my husband didn't pick me up with an umbrella. When I saw this girl, I instantly felt that I had been killed in an instant, and I was really ashamed.
Education in Finland is more focused on the child's own choices, and there are elective subjects from the beginning of primary school. Language, art, physical education, art, and music are all selected according to the child's wishes.
The teachers at the school also know how to respect children's ideas, such as the children rehearsing a performance for the celebration of Finland's Independence Day, the sixth-grade children dancing Cicapo (an ancient dance), and some boys are reluctant to touch the girls' hands or even refuse to stand next to them.
(Cicapo on Independence Day)
If in the country, the teachers may educate the children in various ways or ask them to obey the needs of the team.
In Finland, however, teachers respect the children's wishes and do not force them. Maybe after two times, he couldn't participate in it, and when he rehearsed again, he was willing to try.
In Finland, even primary school teachers must be graduates of a bachelor's and master's degree in education, and only about 10% of the country's admission rate can become teachers, which is very challenging even for locals.
The system of teachers in Finland is different from that in China. The primary school is divided into a homeroom teacher and a language teacher. Language teachers are teachers who teach their mother tongue, first language and other foreign languages.
However, the class teacher has a very big responsibility, in addition to being responsible for the daily affairs of the class, she must also teach different subjects at the same time, such as mathematics, visual arts, etc., and have sufficient knowledge.
Even if you have mastered Finnish, it is difficult to become a primary school teacher in Finland.
(Graduated from a bachelor's degree in education)
If Chinese want to become a teacher in a Finnish primary school, Finnish is a must-pass. This is because, according to the qualifications for teaching staff, teachers of basic education must have excellent Finnish oral and written skills.
I think there are two possibilities, either to be a language teacher of Chinese, English or other languages, but each school must have more than 8 people to elect before the class will open, and there are not many positions.
Either as a teaching assistant, you need a teaching assistant teacher for each grade. Or maybe there are some special students in the class.
For example, there is a student in my teaching assistant class who has normal intelligence, but because of his illness, his hands will keep shaking. I will tremble when I write, I can't hold the plate when I am cooking, and if I need special help, I will arrange a teaching assistant.
(Colored ice wall)
When we compare the education styles of children in China and Finland, we will choose a compromise.
Education in China is too strict and stressful, which is not conducive to the development of children's innovative and creative thinking, but Finnish education is too loose, and children tend to become lazy and may miss some of the best opportunities for learning and Xi.
We are ready to combine the strengths of both domestic and foreign countries to guide the growth of children. Discover their interests, focus on one or two hobbies, and let them do what they love. It's not too chicken, but it's not completely unconstrained.
(Friends I met in the language class)
Parents should grow up with their children. Finland is a place where you can learn Xi for life, and if you want to, you can start all over again, and it's never too late.
The midwife who accompanied me when I gave birth to my second child told me that she used to be an assistant in a veterinary clinic, and after giving birth to two children and sending them to kindergarten (about 40 years old), she wanted to change careers, so she went back to school to study Xi midwifery and only went to work in the hospital after graduation.
In Finland, some women re-examine their career plans after giving birth.
Finland's policy for the unemployed is also very strong, if you choose to study, even if it is three or five years, you do not need to pay any tuition fees, only to pay living expenses. In this way, people's choices are possible.
Here, people in their forties and fifties can choose a new track, and there are infinite possibilities in life.
(I love the snow)
Inspired by my midwifery, I realised that each stage of life has different tasks and goals.
At the moment, I am content with my current life and have enough time to spend with my children, and I will not miss every moment of their growth. Having your own hobbies and friends in your spare time is a happy life.
As for work, I want to learn Xi Finnish so that when my children grow up, I plan to study again and go to graduate school in Finland to find a job that interests me more and realize my dreams in life.
I am always willing to maintain a sense of relaxation in life, and I want to see how the flowers bloom, how the water flows, experience some interesting people and things, and experience life, so as to try to live an unhurried and vivid life.
(My account: Yao to Grandma Bridge)
[Dictation: Pei Yao]
[Editor: Beacon Flame]
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