Preface
In December 2023, Erika, a girl living alone in Shanghai, said in an interview with the camera: "I'm not unfilial, I'm just doing my filial piety in a very alternative way, why do I want a person who is on the verge of death to live so painfully?
At the beginning of 2023, her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was suffering from illness every day, and because she did not want to watch his father suffer from illness every day, she sent him to the "hospice ward" without telling his father and provided him with painless hospice care.
So what kind of experience can make a daughter make such a choice about her father's illness?
Bad news has arrived
At the beginning of 2023, it may be a new beginning for many people, who are planning their new plans for the year and working hard for their dreams.
But for Erika, a girl in Shanghai, this year was the beginning of her nightmare, because in this year, her father began to have a series of physical problems after a high fever, frequent toilet visits and insomnia have been bothering her father, and Erika, who lives with her, sees all this in her eyes. So she planned to take her father to the hospital for a check-up.
It doesn't matter if you don't check it, my father was found to have prostate cancer during this check. As early as 9 years ago, her mother died of cancer, and now the news that her father is suffering from cancer is coming again, which will be a bolt from the blue for any family, not to mention, it is a weak woman who faces all this.
However, Erika was not discouraged or frightened in the slightest, and actively began to prepare for the treatment of her father. She brought her father to the best oncologist in Shanghai, hoping to find a way for him to be treated.
However, after a consultation and a second evaluation, the specialist told Erika that her father's cancer had worsened, but because he was suffering from severe anemia, he was not advised to undergo surgery. Because the chemotherapy after the surgery was too depleting for my father, who also suffered from anemia, it was too dangerous.
The hospital finally informed him that his father had less than half a year left, but Erika did not give up on this, and he began to privately look up cases similar to his father on the Internet, hoping to find a breakthrough from those patients and bring hope for his father's survival.
After reading a large number of similar cases on the Internet, Erika found that this disease is indeed a very difficult problem, not only has little hope of cure, but also until the patient dies, he will be tormented by the disease, and the patient will suffer from insomnia almost every day, because he can't sleep and sweat profusely.
At this moment, Erika seemed to be completely desperate, he didn't know how to tell his father the news, and in the midst of repeated entanglements, he finally made an important decision, that is, to send his father to the "hospice ward".
Her decision, not to mention what her father thinks, but undoubtedly pushed herself into the abyss, because she is likely to face the responsibilities of relatives and friends, and the people around her may not understand her, but he understands that "making my father live comfortably and painless in his last days is the best care and respect for him".
So Erika chose to hide his illness from her father, and in addition, she also told her father one last lie, that is, she told his father: "The doctor said that your treatment plan is down, and we will go to the Chinese medicine hospital to adjust the red blood cell and protein index first, so that we can go to chemotherapy." ”
When my father heard it, his feelings were good, and being able to do chemotherapy meant that his disease had been cured, so he was very happy, but he didn't know that this was the countdown to his life.
Days in the hospice ward
Because entering the hospice ward is tantamount to giving up treatment, the facilities inside are even more rudimentary than the ordinary wards outside. The patients in it are basically in a state of waiting for death, and what the hospital can do is to make these patients live comfortably at the last moment of their lives.
Many of the elderly people are accompanied by their spouses, but Erika's father is alone, so she visits his father almost every day.
According to Erika, his father's illness was the most serious among all the patients in the ward, and in order to make him have a good attitude and not be so painful, he would talk to him every day.
But as time went by, my father's condition did not improve, and my father slowly felt that something was wrong, so he asked her every day why her illness did not improve but became more and more serious?
In fact, long before entering the ward, Erika had already told her father what to do if she was diagnosed with cancer, and her father's general meaning was that if it was advanced, he would not have chemotherapy or surgery. However, under the torture of illness, the patient's desire to survive will become very strong.
So, after a short discussion with her aunt, she decided to let her aunt go in and remind her father of his illness, which seemed to understand at the time, but was completely unwilling to accept this fact.
We all know that waiting for the day of death must be very painful, so in the following days, Erika's father has been reticent, never willing to say a word to himself, but more often than not, he has no energy to be tortured by the disease.
In this way, in the day and day of waiting, Erika's father passed away quietly in July of the same year, before his father left, Erika quietly whispered the last words to his father in his father's ear: "Dad, you are already very brave, your illness is actually very, very serious, but you have never been in pain, very remarkable, don't worry." ”
Criticized by netizens and relatives
In an interview with reporters afterwards, Erika said, "The mentality of cancer between giving up and surviving is very torturous, and my father told me in the end, you didn't treat me." "But this disease is a disease, he can't cure it, who can you blame?
But her approach also caused an uproar on the Internet for a while, and some people thought that her approach was a bit too decisive and deprived her father of the right to fight for medical treatment, and her so-called hospice care and dignified death were just excuses for depriving her father of the right to live.
Some people also think that Erika is afraid of spending money on his father's treatment, and then he can't cure it, so he can only leave a deposit for himself if he gives up. Therefore, they don't think it's for the good of their father, and even feel that as a daughter, her approach is even a little cruel.
Erika herself said that before her father died, a relative said to herself: "You must keep your father, otherwise you will have nothing to worry about in this world." ”
But Erika also has her own opinion on this, that is, why do you have to let a person who is on the verge of death live so painfully? As for what relatives and friends love to say about themselves behind their backs in the future, whether they feel like their relatives or not, whether they feel that they are white-eyed wolves, etc., it doesn't matter.
But while some people are skeptical, there are also people who understand her approach, because only by experiencing the pain of others can we appreciate how bad the quality of life of cancer patients is.
In the end, she herself said that at the moment when her father was diagnosed with cancer, she had made comprehensive preparations, including money, but this disease could not be cured with money, and she had no choice.
summary
It is said that they pity the hearts of parents all over the world, but in the face of birth, old age, sickness and death, how can they not be sad as the first child? Many people may not understand Erika's approach, and we cannot judge whether his approach is right or wrong.
Perhaps, as one netizen said, giving up treatment to let his father spend a more peaceful and comfortable time is indeed the best choice, but Erika's mistake was that she did not tell her father the truth in advance, and she silently deprived her father of his right to choose.
So much so that in the end, after knowing that he had not received treatment, his father passively accepted the bad news that he was going to die, so he complained at the last moment of his life: "Why didn't you treat me?"
Source: The official account of the Political and Legal Committee of the Chaoyang District Committee of the Communist Party of China