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My name is Liu Qing and I come from an ordinary rural family in Shanxi. When I was a child, my family was poor, and I, an only child, knew from a young age that I had to study hard to change my fate. Although our family of three lives in a mud house of only a dozen square meters, my parents always cut back on food and clothing, just to be able to provide for me to go to school. I am very grateful to them and know that I have a responsibility on my shoulders to change this family.
"Qingqing, I will give you a happy and happy life. Stay with me. That's what Zhang Zhang said at the time.
A shy smile bloomed on my face, and then I heard myself say softly, "Okay." ”
In this way, at the age of 20, I married Zhang Zhang and started a new life. After I got married, I dropped out of school to concentrate on my husband and children, and my job was very stable, and we lived in a high-rise residential area in the provincial capital. Zhang Li's mother gradually accepted me as a daughter-in-law from Shanxi.
"Daughter-in-law, you have worked hard, just live a good life as a family. "My mother-in-law always told me that.
My mother-in-law is a kind old man, and I serve her with all my heart. Zhang Li is also very good to me, except that when I am busy at work, my feet do not touch the ground, and when I come home from work, it is like a different person, helping me wash vegetables and cook, and often buy flowers for me.
"Wife, I'm back, how is it today?" Zhang Li put down his briefcase and teased me jokingly.
"It's okay, I made a fragrant fish soup, you go wash the handles first. I responded with a smile.
We also used to go out to the movies and go for a walk or something, and we had a very sweet time. After marriage, I gave birth to a lovely son named Zhang Tianming. Tianming is smart and clever, and he is our treasure. At that time, I felt that I was living a happy and fulfilled life, which was the life I wanted.
On her 80th birthday, my mother-in-law suddenly suffered a stroke and died, and both of us were very sad. Only then did Zhang Li remember that there was a father who was far away from his hometown, and he had passed the age of sixties.
"Qingqing, I think you should go back to your hometown to take care of my father. Zhang Li said to me.
"Tianming is still young, and it is the season when I need my mother. It's hard for you to take him alone. I said with a wry smile.
"I can get someone to take care of him. You can go back to the old man's house, and when he gets better, or when he goes to junior high school in the morning, you can come back. "Tension began to persuade me.
I hesitated. Although I knew in my heart that my father-in-law had passed the age of the sixtieth birthday and needed someone to take care of him, I was worried about my son's Xi life.
"Tianming, mom may have to go back to her hometown for a while, you're okay alone, right?" I asked my son apprehensively.
"It's okay Mom, I'm already a big kid!" Tianming wiped his nose and pretended to be optimistic.
I looked at his small figure and had mixed feelings. In the past few days, I have repeatedly looked at Zhang Li, maybe because he is older, his face is gradually wrinkled, and he is no longer the energetic young man he was back then. I know, we've all changed.
In the end, under Zhang Li's repeated assurances, I decided to go back to my hometown first.
When I came to my hometown, I saw my father-in-law with a dark and thin face as soon as I got off the train. In addition to the distress, I can't help but think of my parents, I don't know if they are good. As soon as my father-in-law opened his mouth, I fell into an ice cellar.
"Daughter-in-law, you're back. Hurry up and pack up, let's go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register our marriage!" Father-in-law said with a smile.
I was stunned, why didn't Zhang Li mention this to me? I Zhang Li, he said that his father was old and in poor health, and he wanted to find someone to accompany and take care of him, so he made such a request. He told me not to embarrass my father-in-law too much.
I was angry and felt that tension was ill-intentioned. We argued for a long time, and in the end, he was hard at work, and I reluctantly agreed to go back to my hometown to help my father-in-law see a doctor first, and then discuss the matter of marriage.
When I came to my hometown, I found that my father-in-law's savings were hundreds of thousands, and although he was not in good health, he was not poor. I realized that Zhang Zhang wanted my father-in-law to keep his savings for himself, so he asked me to accompany my father-in-law in his old age. I'm disappointed with the tension.
I stayed in my hometown for more than half a year, and my father-in-law's health improved, but I firmly refused to register my marriage with him. Zhang Zhang called me every once in a while to urge me, and I also shirked to take care of my father-in-law and didn't have time to go back. In fact, my life in my hometown was very boring, I missed Tianming, and I was very disgusted by what Zhang Li did.
That day, I got up early to go to the market to buy groceries and prepare to cook some delicious food for my father-in-law in the evening. Walking on a familiar country road, looking at the scenery around me that has not changed much, I suddenly miss Tianming very much. I don't know if he will live well in the provincial capital alone after I leave.
At that moment, I saw a figure behind me! The man was dressed like Zhang Li, and was laughing with a long-haired woman. I looked at it, and it was really tense!
They seemed to be on good terms, and the woman was holding Li's hand affectionately. I was shocked and tried to theorize, but suddenly realized that I was not in a position to do so. Because I haven't been back to the provincial capital for half a year, for Zhang Li, it's like a divorce.
Holding back tears and heartbreak, I turned and fled. Zhang Zhang actually found a new love so quickly, am I so worthless in his heart?
I called Zhang Li and said that there was something important to talk about. Zhang Li readily agreed, and enthusiastically said that he had prepared a celebratory breakfast for me and Tianming. But I know it's just his hypocrisy.
The moment I saw Zhang Li, I asked him with red eyes, "What is your relationship with that woman?"
Zhang Li's face changed drastically, and he was at a loss. After a while, he replied in a low voice: "It's just a friend, you think too much." ”
"Friend, you looked like a couple of lovers when you went to the market yesterday!" I yelled excitedly.
Only then did I realize that once the trust in the original marriage is broken, it is irretrievable. I can no longer believe any of the words of tension. We had a big argument and I filed for divorce from him on the spot.
"Qingqing, calm down, we can. "The tension was so anxious that he was sweating profusely.
Tianming heard the movement and ran out. Seeing the way we were arguing, he asked in fear, "Mom, what's wrong with you and Dad?"
My heart was like a knife, but I still said softly to Tianming: "Mom and Dad may be separated, and you will have to live with Dad in the future." ”
"No, I want to be with my mother!" Tianming cried and hugged me.
I gently pushed Tianming away and said to him firmly, "Be obedient, you need Dad." Mom will take care of herself. ”
With that, I left my former home without looking back.
After the divorce, I lived alone in a small house in a provincial town. I do odd jobs during the day to earn money, and I can't sleep at night. I was always worried about Tianming's Xi school life, but tension didn't let me get close to Tianming, and my heart was crushed.
One day, I couldn't stand the torture of longing, and finally mustered up the courage to go to Tianming's school to find him. But the security guard said that Zhang Zhang had already called the school to intercept me, and I couldn't see Tianming anyway.
"You're not his mother anymore, stop harassing the child. "The security guard impatiently chased me away.
I stood outside the school gate in a daze, tears welling up in my eyes. It turned out that in Tianming's heart, I had been completely replaced by tension.
Two years later, I'm still living a life of no reluctance. Occasionally passing by a high-end shopping mall, I saw Zhang Zhang and his new girlfriend shopping for something, they were smiling and looking affectionate. I knew it was a foregone conclusion, but my heart was still sour.
This good news finally broke the long-lost sunshine. My Tianming has grown up and lived up to the expectations of my youth. Perhaps, he is doing well. This became the motivation for me to get back on my feet.
I started learning Xi tailoring trade, helping out in a tailor shop during the day and honing my skills whenever I had time. After a while, I was finally able to fly solo. With the skills to support myself, I regained my self-confidence.
Finally, in the year of the Tianming college entrance examination, I mustered up enough courage to go to his high school gate and wait for him to get out of school. The security guard still stopped me, but I was adamant.
"You can't take away my right to be a mother! I just want to see him before he graduates!" I yelled excitedly at the security guard.
At this moment, Tianming came to me: "Mom!" He threw himself into my arms and hugged me and wept.
I also burst into tears: "Tianming, have you been admitted to a good university?"
"I'm admitted to Peking University, Mom!" He replied excitedly.
I looked at my tall and handsome son in front of me with relief, and I knew that he would live the life he wanted. That's enough.
From then on, I started to socialize actively, wandering bookstores and cafes with my sisters in the tailor shop. Sometimes I go on blind dates, and although I haven't met the right person yet, I haven't given up hope.
I am no longer the simple and obedient girl I used to be, and after the painful torture of marriage, I have become introverted and strong. Life is not perfect, I have to learn to accept the joys and sorrows of life, let go of the past, and live in the present.
There are still long days ahead, and I want to fly to a new sky like a free bird.
And just like that, another two years passed. Tianming entered Peking University as he wished, and fell in love with his girlfriend in a different place. Watching my son get farther and farther away from me, I had mixed feelings.
One day, I suddenly received a call from Tianming, who excitedly told me that his girlfriend Ai Xiaoyi had been admitted to a state-owned enterprise civil service in our city. When I heard it, I was happy and apprehensive.
"Mom, I'm going to take the civil service exam after a while, and then I can work and live in the same city with Ai Xiaoyi. Do you think it's possible?" Tianming asked me shyly.
I smiled and said, "As long as you two have a good relationship, everything else will fall into place." Mom will give you her full support!"
Hanging up the phone, I had mixed feelings. I also fantasized about living and working with Zhang Li, but it ended up in pain. I don't know if Tianming will repeat my mistakes, but as a mother, I can only do my best to bless.
After a while, Tianming happily told me that he had also passed the examination of the provincial key institution and could work with Ai Xiaoyi. I'm really happy for him.
Just as Tianming was about to tell Zhang Li the good news, a sudden phone call disrupted all plans.
"Hey, are you Liu Qing? I'm Master Li, a colleague of Zhang Li. Tension has an accident, you should come to the hospital quickly!" An anxious voice on the other end of the phone said.
I rushed to the hospital at a loss, only to learn that Zhang Zhang had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage and had been rescued, but his life was dying.
"His last wish is to see you and your child one last time. Master Li told me.
I hesitated, but I still called Tianming to come over. When we entered the ward, Zhang Li, who was already dying, saw us with a smile of relief in his eyes.
Tianming was heartbroken and knelt in front of the bed and cried bitterly. I burst into tears, too. How did I think that one day, our mother and son would be reunited in such a situation.
In this way, Zhang Li's eyes closed gently, and the man who had made me love and hate passed away.
At Zhang Li's funeral, I met the new love, who was carrying a boy about ten years old. It turned out that they also had their own families.
After the funeral, I begged Tianming to let me be alone and quiet. In front of the tomb of tension, I gently laid down a white carnation.
Tianming silently walked up to me and took my hand. Facing a new life, our mother and son will move forward hand in hand.
After Zhang Li's funeral, I fell into deep self-blame and sadness. In the face of Tianming's concerned inquiry, I had to tell him that my relationship with Zhang Li had broken down many years ago.
"Mom is sorry for you and made you lose your complete home. I choked up and said to Tianming.
Tianming was silent, and after a long time, he spoke: "Mom, I can understand that you are also an ordinary person with flesh and blood, and you will also have your own choices." It's just that I'm still going to miss my dad. ”
I hugged Tianming and cried bitterly, and my son's understanding made me both relieved and ashamed. I decided that I wanted to start a new life and stop dwelling on the mistakes of the past.
Tianming advised me to go out more and broaden my knowledge. One day, I mustered up the courage to go to the beach alone. The sun and the sea breeze were blowing, and I felt calm and peaceful for the first time in a long time. Maybe I really should let go of everything and find a new meaning in life.
I started to actively participate in some volunteer activities and met many interesting people. One of the men, Li Jianhua, took special care of me, and I gradually developed a liking for him.
"Liu Qing, I want to go down with you for a long time. "One day Li Jianhua said to me solemnly.
I hesitated, wondering if I was ready to start a relationship again. Li Jianhua didn't urge me, but often accompanied and cared for me. In this sincere friendship, I opened my heart that had been closed for a long time.
After I agreed to date Li Jianhua, we often hiked together and enjoyed the beauty of nature. He would also take me to volunteer with me to help the elderly. I feel like life has never been so exciting.
Tianming was also very welcoming to my new friend. "Mom, I've never seen you so happy, I hope you can hold on to your current happiness. Tianming said to me from the bottom of his heart.
I am grateful for Tianming's mature understanding, and I know that his words remind me to cherish the present. After experiencing the sadness of the past, I understand the value of happiness. I will seize the present, live with Li Jianhua, and continue to find the meaning of life.
When I came to the beach again, blowing the salty sea breeze and looking at the sparkling sea, I knew that my heart had been healed. Regrets and pains will be diluted by time, and life is always on the way. I will continue to appreciate the bits and pieces of life with a positive and optimistic attitude.