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Slow down, slow down. I've been running away these days, from that circle of friends that hurts my heart. My best friend's husband and I have been in an affair for five years, and on the day of her divorce, she sent such a shocking message in the circle of friends: "I know how ridiculous I am." ”
When I saw this circle of friends, I felt a strong sense of fear. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what my girlfriend would think, and I was even more afraid of what she would do to me. I know what I did wrong, but I can't undo it. For five years, we have been hiding it, but we have not been able to really let go.
"Do you see your girlfriend's circle of friends?" my phone rang, and it was another girlfriend calling.
"See. I replied in a slightly trembling voice.
"Did she always know about us when she posted on Moments like this?" guessed another girlfriend.
"I don't know, probably. "I'm really not sure.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I ...... I don't know, should I go to her?", I said hesitantly.
"It's probably not going to be much for you to go to her now, she needs a little time to calm down. After all, this incident hit her too hard. "Another girlfriend gave me advice.
"But I'm really sorry, I don't know how to compensate her. "I think it's ridiculous.
"It's probably too early to make amends, and now you have to figure out how you're going to face this reality. I know you're having a hard time too, after all, you also have feelings for each other. She reassured.
Yes, I also had a five-year emotional entanglement with my best friend's husband. Before he and his girlfriend got married, we already had an ambiguous relationship. At the time, I thought that this relationship would disappear with his marriage, but I didn't expect that we would always have such a relationship. Until now, the news of my best friend's divorce has made me understand that I am really ridiculous.
I was so immersed in self-blame and remorse that I couldn't help myself. I know I'm sorry for my girlfriend and I'm sorry for myself. For five years, we loved each other deeply, but we had to endure behind our backs. This kind of love sounds like a dream that is not allowed. I wanted to wake up, but I didn't want to leave.
"Are you alright?" my phone rang again, and it was my best friend.
"I ...... I am not good. "I felt very difficult.
"I know it's going to be a big shock to all of you, and I don't know how to deal with it. The best friend's voice trembled a little.
"I'm sorry for you, I really don't know how to compensate you. I said guiltily.
"We all need a little time to calm down, it was all too sudden for us. There was a hint of grievance in the voice of the best friend.
"I will wait for you, and no matter what decision you make, I will respect it. I swear.
"I hope you can think it through yourself, after all, such a thing will affect a lot of people. The girlfriend explained.
"I know, I'll think about it. I promised.
After hanging up the phone, my heart was very heavy. This incident turned my life upside down and made me understand many things. A love that is not allowed will only bring pain to everyone involved. For five years, we have been deceiving ourselves, but we cannot escape the punishment of reality.
"Five years ......," I murmured softly, the five years seemed like a short-lived dream, but it also became an unbearable burden for me. This time, I'm going to face it because I know I can't let this go on again. May girlfriends find their own happiness again in the midst of pain. And I will also find a way out for myself.
I mistakenly got into a wrong relationship that made me miserable. I used to think it was a genuine love, but now I understand that it's just a ridiculous love fantasy. I have to re-examine myself and start from scratch, and only then can I get out of this situation.
"You know, I had an affair with my best friend's husband for five years, and now she's divorced. I confessed to another friend.
"What?!five years?, how could you do such an irresponsible thing?" said a friend's voice with strong condemnation.
"I know, I was really wrong. "I felt ashamed.
"How can this be forgiven? Your actions have hurt not only your best friend, but also her family! You must be held accountable for your actions!" the friend's words were filled with anger.
"I understand that I can only request time now to make up for this mistake. I pleaded.
"Time, do you think time can erase your faults? What you have to do is to recognize yourself, accept reality, and take responsibility for your actions!"
I sat heavily in my room, deep remorse and pain. Before I knew it, tears blurred my eyes. I brought it all on myself, I'm sorry for my closest friends, I'm sorry for myself. What can I do to face the rest of my life?
"Hey, it's my ......" was the voice of my girlfriend on the other side of the phone.
"What's wrong with you?" I could hear the helplessness and grievance in her voice.
"I ...... I just want to know, when did you start, and why did you keep hiding it from me?"
"We ...... It's before you get married. "I can't hide my guilt.
"Five years...... For five years, I was fooled. I really feel ridiculous. The best friend's voice was full of sadness.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for you. I never thought it would be like this. "My tears were streaming down my face.
"I'm in a mixed mood right now and I need some time to sort out my thoughts. "My best friend's words made me feel a pang of despair.
"I will respect your decision, and I will wait for you to give me a chance to explain. "I tried to convince her.
After hanging up the phone, I fell into a deep confession with a heavy heart. Missing the truest understanding of love, I have come to understand that love should not be harmful. Five years of underground love and five years of deception only brought about such a regretful ending in the end. I began to reflect that this wrong love was not the life I wanted. I had to break free from all of this and be a decent person again.
Leaving the city was a relief for me. Relief from the troubles and guilt caused by underground love, and freedom from the entanglement and suffering caused by wrong love. Walking alone on an unfamiliar street, his thoughts are clearer than ever. I told myself to be brave enough to face the past, face up to the present, and then welcome every sunrise in the future. It's the only thing I can do, and it's the best compensation for myself and my former best friend.
I went looking for a new job, to make new friends, to get to know the world anew. I'm no longer the same person I used to be in a deep love affair, I now have a new purpose and direction. Maybe I will never be forgiven, but I know that self-blame and remorse are only the starting point of forgiveness, and it is more important to take action, and use your own actions to prove that the person who is sorry is worthy of yourself. That's the life I'm trying to live for.
Back in my hometown, standing at the gate of the former school, I looked at the familiar playground and school building in front of me, and my heart was flooded with memories. I went to the only coffee shop on campus, sat by the window, sipped my coffee gently, and reminisced about the time when I was young on campus. As I gazed at the ripples in my coffee cup, someone stopped me from behind me.
"Hey, long time no see!" a young voice interrupted my musings.
I looked back and was a student in a school uniform, looking somewhat familiar.
"Are you ......," I thought with difficulty.
"I'm Wang Xin, and we're classmates. You don't seem to have changed much!" Wang Xin's eyes flashed with a familiar light.
"I'm sorry, I don't recognize you, we haven't seen each other for a long time. I gently wiped a handful of tears from the corners of my eyes with my hands.
"What's wrong with you? You look a little sad. Wang Xin's words were full of concern.
"I ...... Just some regrets about the past. "I tried to control my emotions.
"Don't be sad, time doesn't stand still. Each of us will make mistakes, and the key is to be able to deny them and correct them. All I can do now is to face myself, isn't it?" Wang Xin's words made me feel a little relieved.
"Thank you, Wang Xin. You're right, I'll face myself. I smiled and felt a ray of light in my heart.
Putting down my coffee cup, I stood up and began to wander aimlessly around this familiar campus. Wang Xin's words kept replaying in his mind: "Each of us will have mistakes, the key is to be able to deny and correct them." "I thought, maybe that's the answer I need. I want to stop avoiding that wrong past, but face it squarely and correct my mistakes.
When I came to the school library, I flipped through one book after another, looking for the answers I needed. The wisdom and rich life experiences in the books have inspired me to re-examine myself, and at the same time, they have given me courage.
As the evening sun set over the campus, I finally realized that the mistakes of the past were not the end of life, but a new beginning. I want to step out of the campus, bask in the sunset, and embark on a new journey. No matter how difficult and tortuous the road ahead, I will face it bravely and learn from it to grow stronger.
From that day on, I started reaching out to my best friend, and I told her my deepest apologies, and instead of blaming me, she told me that she needed time to face her life. I knew she must have been hurt a lot.
A few weeks later, I received a message from my girlfriend who invited me to have coffee with me. When I saw her haggard but determined face, I felt a pang of sadness.
"Thank you for coming, I think we need to have a good talk. My girlfriend looked at me deeply and said.
"Of course, I'm willing to listen to everything about you. "I express it sincerely.
"I've been thinking about it for quite some time, and this is a surprise for all of us. I can't forget the betrayal of you and my ex-husband, and I was frustrated and angry at the beginning. But then I understood that you are also a victim of being troubled by love. The girlfriend whispered.
"I'm really sorry for my actions, I never thought it would hurt you so much, it's the biggest guilt of my life. "My eyes were moist.
"We all need to face the future, and I've decided to let go of this and stop haunting me with the sadness and anger of the past. I hope you can be relieved too. There was a sense of relief in her best friend's voice.
I nodded, "Yes, I'll try to let go and start my life again." ”
I feel a sense of relief and relief from this meeting, I know that the mistakes of the past will not be easily forgotten, but I am willing to make efforts to make myself better and cherish every new beginning. I am grateful for the strong and forgiving friend in front of me, whose forgiveness once illuminated a ray of light for the darkness in my heart and gave me a new hope in life.
As time went on, my mind gradually calmed down. I started to take the initiative to find my purpose in life and work hard to achieve it. Around me, there are more new friends, who are not blaming me for my past, but willing to see my determination to change. I also started to take the initiative to give back to the society and do some charity activities to help those in need. I understand that life doesn't stand still because of my fault, but moves on.
All this experience has made me grow a lot, and this unallowed love has been an important experience in my life. Pain will not be easily forgotten, but I will not let it be a shackle for me to move forward. I want to start a new page and move forward towards a better and sunny future. Maybe I'll let go of it someday in the future, but at least I'll remember this mistake and make it a part of my growth and learning Xi. It's the best way I can compensate myself and my former girlfriends.
As some time passed, I began to gradually regain my composure and self-confidence. This experience became a boulder in my life, and I have been thinking about how I can turn it into a stepping stone that will make me stronger and more mature.
One day, I received an invitation from my girlfriend that she was getting married. I think she has come out of that pain and ushered in a new happiness.
"Thank you for coming, I'm really happy. My girlfriend hugged me with a smile on her face.
"Congratulations, you can see that you are very happy. "I wish her well.
"Thank you, I've been trying to make my life better all these years. Maybe the pain has always been there, but I've learned to move forward. The girlfriend whispered.
"May your future be full of happiness and sweetness, and you will be able to forget the pain of the past. "I blessed her.
The wedding that day made me see a happy best friend, and I know that she has really come out of this shadow, which is also the greatest comfort to me.
Back home, I picked up a blank piece of paper and wrote a paragraph on it: "Be grateful for every setback in life, they are the ladder of my growth." Thanks to every pain in the past, they let me know the truth of life. Thank you to everyone who has helped me to stop losing myself. ”
I put this passage on the wall, and it became my motivation to keep moving forward, and it was also a solemn commitment to myself.
Time has taught me a lot, I have learned to be tolerant, I have learned to cherish, and I have learned to grow. If it weren't for that unallowed love, maybe I wouldn't be the person I am today. What is precipitated in the memories is no longer the pain, but the footprints of growth. I understand that every hardship is a great strength to build oneself, and every pain is a deeper understanding of the preciousness of life.
From now on, I will give my passion and love to everyone around me, so that life can be full of sunshine again. There may still be a long way to go, but I have the courage and strength to know that the lighthouse is still illuminating my path ahead. I am moving forward towards my dream and taking on every new challenge. It's the best way I can compensate myself and my former girlfriends.
As the days passed, I gradually came out of that shadow, and I was trying to rediscover myself and embrace life.
One day, I asked a good friend out for a chat, and we sat down in the coffee shop and talked about all kinds of things in life.
"You've been looking so happy lately, it really doesn't seem to be the same. My friend smiled.
"Yes, I feel like I've let go of my old baggage. I smiled genuinely.
"That's great, I've always believed that you're a strong person who can face a difficult situation and pull away from it. My friend said approvingly.
"Thank you for your support, in fact, it all has a lot to do with your companionship and understanding. I looked at my friend and was grateful.
"Do you have any plans other than the past?" asked my friend with a smile.
"I want to try my best to experience the variety of life, travel more, make more friends, and challenge myself more. "I said what I wanted from the bottom of my heart.
"It's great! I have a more positive attitude towards life, which is who you are, and this is what we all know. My friend encouraged.
When I left the coffee shop, my heart was full of emotion. I've found that life really gets better when you let go of the baggage of the past. I decided to be more tolerant of myself and to enjoy every good time I was given.
From that day on, I started a new rhythm of life. I travel the world, attend social events, and learn new skills Xi. I understand that the failure of love cannot make me disheartened with my whole life, and I cannot be shrouded in the shadow of the past.
In this new life, I found myself more fulfilled and truly happy, and I learned to cherish what I had in front of me. I'm no longer afraid of challenges and changes because I know they're my chance to grow.