Text | Xiaofeng talks about history
Edit | Xiaofeng talks about history
The tiger father has no dog son, and he will be a good soldier.
In people's inherent thoughts, it seems that the glory of the father's generation is destined to "not be mediocre".
But does a genius have to be a genius?
He is a professor at Peking University, and his wife is also a top talent, but the "little padded jacket" of the two of them leaked the wind.
Faced with his daughter's penultimate result, Ding Yanqing tried hard and tried to "fight". However, the reality gave him a slap in the face, "There are things you can't do if you don't accept your fate." ”
1. "Counseling by Peking University Professors"
Since 2020, the third floor of the office building of Peking University has been filled with men's scolding. An associate professor named Ding Yanqing was sitting at his desk, looking at the little girl in front of him with a frown.
The little girl is his daughter, who has just entered the first grade, and is trying to adapt to the Xi rhythm of the Peking University Affiliated Primary School.
Although he loves his daughter deeply, when parents know that when they are helping their children with homework, they always fall into a kind of chaos of chickens and dogs.
Ding Yanqing tried to use his wisdom to solve his daughter's problems in Xi, but the other party's lack of concentration and lack of interest made the process extremely difficult.
Faced with his daughter's Xi difficulties in schooling, he began a series of "rescue plans".
Not only does he ride his bicycle to school every day, but he also helps her Xi poems, texts and English words on the way. After day after day of "hardcore" Xi, my daughter's exam results in the final exam were not top, but at least they were no longer at the bottom.
This made Ding Yanqing feel a little comforted, and inspired him to make a more ambitious plan - to make his "little padded jacket turn over".
However, just as Ding Yanqing was about to embark on his plan, his wife objected. She observed that after several months of high-pressure Xi, her daughter's height did not increase and her personality became no longer lively and cheerful.
His wife's worries made Ding Yanqing begin to reflect on his behavior, realizing that he may have been too impatient and neglected his daughter's psychological needs......
Second, I accept the mediocrity of children
In fact, before their daughter went to elementary school, Ding Yanqing and his wife always adhered to the free-range education concept, respected their daughter's interests, and never forced her to do things she didn't like.
But as their daughter entered the Primary School Affiliated to Peking University, the changes in the surrounding environment made the two feel unprecedented pressure.
It is precisely under this circumstance that they, as parents, began to "pull out the seedlings like crazy".
But after noticing their daughter's boredom with school, the two also adjusted their education plan in time.
Ding Yanqing also gradually realized that her daughter was not lagging behind, but because of the differences in the surrounding environment, she seemed a little unable to keep up with the rhythm. For this reason, he decided to abandon the idea of "overtaking in corners" and return to the original "stocking" education.
In the face of his daughter's helplessness, the Peking University professor also has a deeper understanding of "mediocrity".
He recognizes that even the best of people can be just an ordinary person on both sides. Therefore, he accepted his daughter's "mediocrity" and believed that this was the normal state of life.
Unexpectedly, when she decided to "give up", her daughter unexpectedly kept up with her Xi progress, and her grades also improved significantly.
In fact, it is not to blame that the couple was too mediocre for their daughter at first. is really too good for the husband and wife, and it is precisely because of this that it is so difficult for the two to accept the "mediocrity" of their children at the beginning.
III. Mr. and Mrs. Genius
Ding Yanqing was born into an ordinary peasant family, his mother was an illiterate traditional housewife, and his father was too busy working in the fields to take care of his Xi.
But in such an environment, boys' academic Xi talents are fully developed. At the age of six, he was proficient in reciting the entire Xinhua dictionary, so he was praised as a "prodigy".
But in fact, Ding Yanqing in childhood was not as perfect as people imagined.
His performance in elementary school was not outstanding, and although he was saddled with the title of "prodigy", his grades were only mediocre, and he still had problems reading complex formulas.
Perhaps motivated by the ardent expectations of his parents, or perhaps the "awakening of self-consciousness", Ding Yanqing began to Xi study hard in the third year of junior high school, and his Xi grades continued to improve rapidly.
After just two months of hard work, he successfully obtained an admission letter from the best high school in the county, and since then he has embarked on a smooth road to study.
After being admitted to Peking University with excellent grades and successfully completing his bachelor's and master's studies, he went to Columbia University in the United States to study for a doctorate in educational economics.
After returning from his studies, Ding Yanqing returned to Peking University to teach, and was promoted to professor in just four years with his extraordinary intelligence and hard work.
And his wife is also excellent, not only has excellent academic performance, but also has a very privileged family background.
After the two got together, they joined forces to become a well-known highly educated couple.
It can be admitted that the excellence of the husband and wife is self-evident, and whether it is their "struggle" or the final "resignation", in the final analysis, they only accept the gap between reality and ideals.
In front of their excellent prodigy, because of love, they chose to "pull out the seedlings to grow" at the beginning, but in the end, it was also because of love that both parties chose to accept the child's "normal".
So the question is, is it important to learn Xi or to be happy with children?
Fourth, the dilemma of choice
At this particular age of childhood, children are often given more freedom to play, discover new things and participate in fun activities.
This helps to improve their awareness and stimulate innovative thinking, which can also be used to achieve more results in their future studies.
However, the child's happiness is very important, but it does not mean that the Xi can give up.
In addition to acquiring the necessary cultural knowledge, parents also need to guide their children to learn the ability to observe and analyze problems, so that they can continue to explore the most suitable path for themselves in their future life or work.
Of course, relying solely on pure knowledge transfer will not achieve the desired goals, if parents can grasp the nature of their children and guide them to actively participate in the actual operation according to the actual situation, there will be unexpected good results.
Happiness is important, and learning Xi is also important, so how do you find the right balance between the two?
The most important thing is to be respectful, provide enough time for children to be exposed to their areas of interest, and try to choose suitable materials for them to tutor, so that children are willing to learn happily.
At the same time, it is also necessary to create an open and harmonious family atmosphere and encourage children to express their thoughts and confusion. Only when children really want to learn Xi can they do things that are not harmful in the name of doing harm in the name of being good for them.
The author thinks
When it comes to educating children, both Peking University couples and us "ordinary people" often fall into a dilemma.
While hoping that children can achieve excellent results and be admitted to prestigious schools to achieve academic achievements, they also realize that test scores are not the only criterion for measuring children's value, but more importantly, cultivate their thinking ability, creativity and good personality quality.
In fact, no matter which one you choose, we need to find the right balance. We should not overemphasize the test results and ignore the all-round development of the child, nor should we let them lose their motivation to move forward too much.
Instead, we should learn to encourage children in multiple dimensions, stimulate their potential, and give them enough care and support to help them build self-confidence.
There is always someone who wants to shine on the stage, and there is always someone who has to play the role of applause from the audience.
Then again, can you accept that your children have a mediocre life?