Wang Sisi, a strong woman with a successful career.
On weekdays, Wang Sisi's shrewd and capable appearance complements the law books in her office. However, on the issue of gender relations, Wang Sisi is surprisingly sluggish and clumsy.
She struggled with an unsustainable intimate relationship and was never able to build a long-term partnership.
On this day, Wang Sisi asked a male friend to go out for dinner. The two talked speculatively, and Wang Sisi rarely relaxed his guard and was ready to accept the other party's intimate actions. Who knew that the man was just about to reach out to help her cut her hair, Wang Sisi jumped away with a "flutter", as if he had seen a ghost.
A cold sweat broke out on her back, and horror was written on her face. Dinner ended hastily in an eerie atmosphere.
This is not the first time Wang Sisi has shown strange resistance in intimate contact. She herself was also puzzled, why did she reflexively withdraw and avoid the person she liked when she made physical contact? It was as if something was buried deep in her body, desperately resisting the distance between her and the object of her affection.
Finally, in the process of participating in an incense therapy, Wang Sisi broke down and cried, shortness of breath, and hot pain on his face.
Those negative body memories are like time bombs ambushed in every corner of Wang Sisi's body, which may explode at any time, bringing serious damage to her body and mind.
For example, Wang Sisi's physiological reactions such as crying and shortness of breath during the fragrance therapy this time were caused by the sudden triggering of traumatic childhood memories. Psychologists have found that childhood trauma from verbal aggression and physical violence often leaves a deep imprint on the amygdala region of the brain, and is stored in the body's memory, becoming a shadow that is difficult to eradicate for a lifetime.
The long-term suppression of these negative memories made Wang Sisi face a dilemma in time: either endure the continuous spread of these memories in the depths of his body and mind, deteriorating his health; Or choose to expose your most vulnerable and weak side in exchange for intimacy and maintenance.
Both paths meant great pain for Wang Sisi.
According to the survey, about 65% of adults who were abused in childhood have emotional problems and 55% have anxiety, which is much higher than the general population.
It can be said that those traumatic memories that seem to be far away are still consuming the vitality of their lives. Wang Sisi's constant retreat from social networking is a footnote to the exhaustion of life vitality.
We must teach her how to set her free.
Fortunately, psychologists have come up with a simple and easy-to-use "three-step method" to help people like Wang Sisi, who are plagued by negative emotions, physically and psychologically release to fight these "time bombs".
The first step is to accept the presence of emotions. When Wang Sisi falls into the situation of being abused by her original family again, what she has to do is to be like a bystander, allowing emotions to flow through her body without commenting, and to observe how this heavy, oppressive force is reflected in her own bodily functions and physiological performance.
The second step is to seize the moment when the emotion subsides and explore its causes. Wang Sisi can ask herself, if she is more valued by her parents, she will not bear such pressure; She can also reflect on where she can take the initiative to explicitly reject the family's inappropriate requests.
The third step is to bring back your attention and focus on the current flow of feelings, breathing, and heartbeats in the body. This helps to connect the mind and body to a relaxed and natural state.
If Wang Sisi can cherish "every breath in the moment", she will gradually be freed from the pain.
This set of self-healing magic weapons is the ultimate antidote to those "time bombs".
Using this three-step method and insisting on daily compassion for the body is the key to Wang Sisi's emotional dilemma.
Research from the University of California has shown that regular mindfulness-based stress reduction can significantly enhance the body's immunity and resistance, and delay the decline of physical functions. Clinical trials from the University of Massachusetts have also found that adhering to mindfulness and body scanning is more conducive to psychological wound healing and emotional release.
It is conceivable that if Wang Sisi begins to value the journey of reconciliation with the body, accepts the body, and listens to the body, then she will gradually be able to free herself from the pain of the past.
First, I stopped again and again to observe the feelings; Then explore the reasons behind these feelings; Finally, focus and live in the moment. In the process, she will eventually rediscover her forgotten self and embrace her true self.
At that time, in the face of intimacy, Wang Sisi is no longer a reflexive retreat. Because her body has "remembered" what it feels like to be respected, understood, and treated gently.
It will become a mirror for her to face the world, reflecting the healing of the heart.
If he insists on moving forward according to this roadmap, Wang Sisi will eventually move towards the light and achieve happiness.