I am 50 years old and have been widowed for 18 years. I am an ordinary rural woman living in a small mountain village. I have a son who married a gentle and virtuous daughter-in-law named Wang Mei.
One day, I was preparing chicken soup for Wang Mei, and my son walked in, looked at my busy figure, and said to me gently: "Mom, you are too hard alone, we want you to be happier in the future."
His words touched me very much, and also reminded me of that unhappy period 18 years ago. Back then, I was young and beautiful, and I followed my husband to this mountain village, but my husband fell ill and finally left me.
After Wang Mei gave birth, I decided to remarry. I want a warm home, not only for myself, but also for my son and his family.
That night, I raised the matter of remarriage to my son. "Mom, you're going to remarry?
I explained my thoughts to him and told him in detail about the loneliness and misfortune of 18 years. He listened silently, his eyes revealing understanding and helplessness.
"Mom, your happiness is our greatest wish. But I hope you will think about it carefully, after all, remarriage will have a big impact on our family.
Now, I sit in a rocking chair in the yard, and the cicadas chirp in the fields, and the wind blows through the ears of rice.
I know that whether you continue to be widowed or remarry, there will be a lot of people talking about it. I also know that the reason why my son opposes my remarriage is also out of concern and concern for me.
However, for me, happiness is the most important thing, and I don't want to leave myself alone anymore. I want a warm home, a home that someone loves.
During this time, I was stuck in a quagmire of contradictions. My son's words made me think about it, and I began to ponder, not knowing what choice to make.
On this day, Wang Mei and I sat on a stone bench in the courtyard, and I told her about my confusion. Wang Mei listened quietly, her eyes full of understanding and sympathy.
"Mom, I understand your difficulties, but I think you should listen to your inner voice. Happiness is the most important thing, don't be swayed by outside opinions.
Listening to her words, I fell into deeper thought. I hope to be blessed by my family, but I also understand that happiness is my own business and I need to make my own choices.
Just as I was hesitating, news of a family dispute came from the village. It turned out that Aunt Chen and her son had a conflict because of their son's marriage.
This incident made my confusion even more complicated.
There are many heart-touching entanglements behind a marriage of children. I couldn't help but get caught up in deep thought about my family.
In the dead of night, I sat alone in the room, my heart fluctuating. Life is a test of choices and responsibilities, in which I should choose, and what responsibilities should I take for my family and my family?
However, just when I was caught in a conflict and couldn't choose, an accident broke my inner struggle.
I rushed into the house and saw her covering her mouth and bursting into tears. It turned out that she accidentally cut her finger while chopping vegetables in the kitchen.
I quickly bandaged her fingers with a clean strip of cloth and comforted her softly. In a panic, I decided to take her to the hospital for a simple treatment and bandage.
I gently patted her on the back and comforted her. Seeing her so fragile, I felt a surge of mixed emotions in my heart.
When we got home, her wounds were already bandaged. I said to her, "Mei'er, be careful in what you do in the future, and keep the knife in your hand, especially when cooking."
She raised her head and looked at me with red eyes: "Mother-in-law, I'm afraid...... I'm afraid of hurting the child......"
It turned out that she was still pregnant, and I never told me and my son about it. I was shocked and a little angry at the same time.
My son was even more furious because his trust in his wife was challenged.
Since then, the atmosphere at home has become a little tense. The relationship between me and Wang Mei has also been affected a bit.
In retrospect, Mei'er has always behaved very obediently since she got married, and never had any conflicts with me, and this concealment made me fall into an inexplicable anxiety.
At the same time, I was worried about her health. This mixed mix of emotions made me feel exhausted.
The conflicts and disputes in the family made me feel overwhelmed. I didn't know how I was supposed to deal with all of this, and at the same time I started to rethink the issue of remarriage.
But I knew that no matter what happened, I had to make a decision.
Although my son's words made me think deeply, my heart's desire did not change. I feel like I am responsible for my own happiness, and at this point, I strongly believe that remarriage is what I should do.
My son seemed to sense my hesitation. That night, he came to talk to me. "Mom, I know what you think, but I want you to put your family first.
"His speech made my heart ache and it made me even more entangled.
I understand my son's concerns, and his concern for me is selfless, but I still feel that this decision is my own.
Happiness is everyone's pursuit, but sometimes, you have to sacrifice your own happiness to achieve the happiness of the whole family.
Perhaps, time will give me a clear answer.
This decision is not easy, after all, it involves the feelings of many people. Now, I'm just willing to wait for a while to see what my heart and my family's attitude is, and maybe the answer will emerge in a moment.