Last night, a total of 13 members of our in-law's family had dinner. I rushed to the restaurant with my husband and saw the people at the table and I understood.
Most of these people I haven't seen before, some of them are elders, some are sisters-in-law, and some are nephews and nieces.
As a group of us sat down, I realized that the dinner had been prepared by relatives to celebrate a child's full moon.
My husband told me to leave quickly after eating, and I could see that he was a little embarrassed. I silently thought in my heart that he was always a little sensitive to my family, perhaps because of some misunderstandings and conflicts before.
My relationship with my husband is not very good. After marriage, we always had an unpleasant quarrel because of housework and conflicts between the two families.
At the dinner table, my husband and I sat together, flanked by relatives, and everyone was talking and laughing. Gradually, I noticed that my aunt and nephew were attentive to me, while my husband's cousin raised a glass to me from time to time.
"You try this, I saw that you specially asked the waiter to add it, and I saw that you don't like to eat fish very much, so I enthusiastically added a vegetarian dish for you.
"You're welcome, auntie, you're full. I waved my hand again and again.
"Let you take care of your cousin, don't hold it, young man!" shouted my cousin with a grin.
"I have to take care of my daughter-in-law first. The husband smiled and met his cousin's words. He didn't blame me at this point.
That's when I noticed how different my husband was. He became a little stunned, and from my point of view, he seemed more gentle.
I didn't expect the picture I saw today to be like a flash in the pan, but it was enough to make my heart move. Perhaps, I pushed him out and he had to get a little harder, and I can't help but apologize when I think about it.
I know that we used to have constant arguments over trivial family matters, and his sensitivity to my family turned out to be caused by my deliberate rejection.
When I saw the people at the table, I understood that some contradictions could not be solved by the noise of everyone. The way my aunt treated me today is not particularly big, just a simple little care.
More and more, I feel that we are a family living together, not a tribe or a clan, and that everyone's feelings have their deep roots.
What happened next may be a test for me to start changing, or it may be a deeper understanding. When I saw the people at the table, I was emotional.
At this moment, I suddenly remembered my mother-in-law, who had done a lot for our family, but I always felt that she interfered too much with me and made me feel depressed.
Her words and demeanor made me think she didn't like me, and I began to be wary of her.
And this meal, her smile always has a hint of deliberateness, and I think she is deliberately trying to make up for her previous coldness.
"Mom, you can also try this, the waiter just added chili peppers to me, I see that you always like spicy food lately. "My husband gently served the food to my mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law took the dishes and chopsticks and smiled, and I suddenly noticed that her face was not only dissatisfied and reproachful, but also had some expectations.
I began to re-examine my family members in my mind, and in the face of their attitudes and manners, I found myself ignoring the many good things about them, and being overly sensitive to all the unpleasantness that had been or was unintentionally given to me.
At this time, my husband suddenly received a phone call, and his face was a little wrong. My heart tightened, this sudden change in him made me feel a little frightened, staring at him, he looked at me with a solemn face, I suddenly understood that family disputes need to be faced together.
When my heart was moved and I began to try to understand and tolerate my husband, another contradictory incident in the family crept in.
After eating, I saw my cousin Xiaojie being picky on the side, and my mother was busy persuading him: "Xiaojie, hurry up and eat more, don't be picky."
Xiaojie replied disapprenously: "I don't want to eat, it's too troublesome." ”
My mother said angrily, "Why are you so ignorant? It's all the food that everyone has worked so hard to cook, and if you don't eat it, it's a waste."
Dad also joined in the fun and said: "Yes, you don't eat and waste, don't blame us for not making delicious food for you in the future." ”
Xiaojie pursed his lips and stopped talking. Seeing this scene, I couldn't help but interject: "Okay, don't quarrel here, Xiaojie is not hungry himself."
My mother looked at me angrily and said, "Don't interfere, it's our family's business." You don't understand. ”
I was a little dissatisfied: "I also opened my mouth so as not to make the atmosphere awkward. ”
Mom frowned: "It's none of your business, go back to your own house to deal with your family's affairs." ”
Hearing this, I felt a chill in my heart. Perhaps while I emphasize family and affection, I ignore some subtle boundaries.
I began to wonder if I was interfering too much in things that I shouldn't be interfering with, or should I stick to my values?
In this scene, which revolves around family and kinship disputes, I suddenly discovered misunderstandings and contradictions in another area.
Sitting at the dining table, the husband who told me to leave quickly looked at me, he seemed to notice the change in my mood, and for a while, I didn't know how to speak, how to deal with the next family dispute.