I originally thought that after my son got married, our relationship would become more and more distant. After all, it's a commonplace. But I was surprised when I heard that my son had invited us to spend the winter in his new house. I even wondered if I had heard it wrong. This is no small matter. After all, there is always a little contradiction and friction between our family and his family.
My son's daughter-in-law and I can be said to be incompatible. She was at odds with me, always looking at my words and actions with suspicion. She is not very gregarious, and after marrying into our family, she always had all kinds of conflicts with me. When I talked to my son, he always advised me to take a step back, but I always felt a little aggrieved in my heart. However, in the face of his warm invitation, I did not hesitate to agree. After all, it was my own decision to come to this home, and I wouldn't back down no matter how uncomfortable it was.
"Dad, we invited you this time, Mom meant. "She said she wanted to get along with you, and so that the child could get along with grandma more." ”
I don't know what my son's expression is, but I was quite shocked inside. I always thought that my daughter-in-law refused to let me get along with my children. I had a little fluctuation in my heart, but my son's words gave me a little hope again.
"This time, I hope you can get along with each other. The daughter-in-law said softly, "You have brought up our children for so many years. I hope they can spend more time with you and learn more. ”
Looking at her serious eyes, I didn't know what to say. I've always felt that this home is not so easy for me. As soon as I entered the door, my daughter-in-law was always worried about me. I had a disagreement with my son, and she was always on his side. There were so many different things between us that I never opened my heart.
"Well, I'll think about it. "I can't disobey her, so I have to accept it.
Since then, she has called from time to time to ask about our itinerary and bought us lots of clothes and household items. She doesn't reveal any emotions about her care for us, but I know there's something to it.
"The children are sick, I want to go back to take care of them, and your own schedule should not be affected. Er Feng's call was in a hurry, "Put the key in the designated place, don't trouble me." ”
I always laughed when I heard what he said. The son always put his children first and never caused us trouble. Although he always said in front of us that his daughter-in-law was bad, in reality, their relationship was not that bad. It's all because of her past work, and she also needs time to adjust to her new life.
{{Since childhood, the family is not rich, even if the parents are intellectuals, but the salary is meager, so they work as a small worker to tutor living expenses, leave all orphans, excellent grades and are admitted to well-known universities, and then in the unit of the wind and water, glory and wealth and pleasure, because of offending the boss laid off and returned to his hometown, suffered all the white eyes, still determined to struggle, was favored by a well-known local company to become the person in charge, contentment, dreaming of sleep, and single-handedly beautify the old house into a high-end apartment}} {{A few days ago, the relationship between work began to change, and I was full of curiosity about life, and I began to be very concerned about the relationship between my two relatives. }}{The relationship between their family was already tense, and this time everyone planned to spend the winter vacation together because of their children, which suddenly made me feel stressed. }}
The preparation of firewood, rice, oil and salt has been almost done, and our family of five is ready to drive to our son's new house for the winter. I messaged my daughter-in-law ahead of time and asked if I needed to bring anything special. Her reply was simple, just "just bring enough of your own stuff". One of the briefest messages I've ever seen. It was a little overwhelming and I started to feel bad.
When we arrived at our son's new house, our daughter-in-law greeted us with a list in hand. She smiled slightly, "I hope you can try to follow the list as much as possible, this is best for the child." ”
I took the checklist and looked at every detail of how we were going to do it in our new house. From how to put your luggage, to how to use the kitchen equipment, and even when to go to bed at night with the lights off. Looking at this list, I was a little emotional. I was in a rebellious mood, and most of the hope that had been increased during this time suddenly disappeared. Her rules for us made me feel like an outsider, and I even wondered if she did it on purpose.
"These rules are prepared by me according to the doctor's instructions, and they are good for the baby. She seemed to sense my emotions and explained.
"Good to the baby, good to the baby, are you good to us?" I couldn't help but burst out, "We are the baby's grandparents, not outsiders." ”
"I understand your concerns, but these are for the baby's health. She said in a calm tone, "I hope you understand." ”
I was silent. I know she's right, but I always feel an indescribable discomfort in my heart. I've been using this as a new reason for the conflict between myself and her. The little hope of the past is gone. But I don't know if I'm too sensitive. Indignation took over, but at the same time I felt helpless. After all, I still can't get past my own level, I just hope that everything is my heart now.
{{As the sudden stipulation greatly exacerbated the already existing contradictions, I began to become more resistant. }}
I was caught off guard by this early winter. I always thought that the relationship between family members could be eased with time, but I was a little surprised by the invitation and enthusiasm this time. I always thought that there would be all kinds of obstacles in this family, but I didn't expect my daughter-in-law to think like this about me. I began to re-examine the attitude of the family and my daughter-in-law. She takes good care of her grandson, as well as my husband and me. She gave me and my grandson a lot of advice on education, and I was happy to cooperate. At this time, my heart has some fluctuations, and the ice in my heart is gradually melting. {{Suddenly received a call from my daughter-in-law, and heard her eager voice, wanting to take my parents-in-law to a new house to spend the winter vacation, I felt a little entangled in my heart. I wasn't very reassuring about her, for fear that something might happen. However, he couldn't stand his son's request, so he had to agree for the time being.
Winter was quietly coming, and we went to our son's new house early. It is a beautiful place, warm and comfortable. But my daughter-in-law's care for us made me feel a little uneasy. She was always overly concerned about our every move, and even arranged a whole week's activity plan, which made me feel a little suffocated. I understood that she had good intentions, but I couldn't feel comfortable doing it. I tried to calm myself, but the discomfort persisted.
One day, I was wandering around my room and heard my daughter-in-law talking to her husband in the living room: "You see, I try my best to take care of them, but they always treat me coldly. I don't really know what to do. The daughter-in-law's tone was full of helplessness. I couldn't help but listen more to God. At this time, the son gently patted her on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry, Mom and Dad are here after all, and they need some time to adapt to the new environment." The contradictions between you are not something that can be resolved in a day or two. Hearing this, I felt a little ashamed in my heart.
Back in my room, I sat quietly and reminisced about the past. Perhaps, the way my daughter-in-law takes care of me is a little uncomfortable, but her heart is sincere. I began to reflect on my attitude in this family and found that I always seemed to be prejudiced and stubborn. I understand that I need to make a change as well.
{{The inner conflict bothered me a little, and although my daughter-in-law's enthusiasm made me feel a little uncomfortable, I also began to reflect on my attitude. Going to my son's new house for the winter was an unexpected decision, but it may also be an opportunity for change. {{I began to realize that I needed to make compromises and changes. The conflict in this family may not be so easy to solve, but I am willing to try, willing to break the barriers in my heart and face this family again. After all, it was a decision I made back then, and I don't regret it.
Soon, our family arrived at our son's new house, and it was the first time we stepped into this place, which seemed strange and familiar to me. The house is very beautifully decorated, everything looks so harmonious that for a while I even forgot about the previous contradictions. The daughter-in-law was very friendly and thoughtfully arranged our living and accommodation. However, just as we were getting ready for a good break, I got an urgent call.
"It was the hospital that informed me that my granddaughter was getting worse and needed me to rush back. I hurriedly explained to my son and daughter-in-law.
"Mom, go back, we can take care of ourselves. The daughter-in-law said in a firm tone.
"However, I am afraid that if I don't take good care of myself when I go back, it will affect my child's condition. I said distressedly. This conflict did not come from my daughter-in-law, but from the helplessness and worry in my heart. I would love to stay with my son and take care of my granddaughter to the best of my ability, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it.
"Mom, our granddaughter is what we care about the most, you have to take good care of her. My son said to me, "We'll take care of ourselves here." ”
Faced with my son's attitude and my daughter-in-law's persistence, I began to have some new understanding of this family. Although there are contradictions between us, in fact, everyone just wants family harmony and healthy growth of children. I decided to go back to take care of my granddaughter for the time being, but deep down I felt a little more gratitude and understanding. Perhaps, this is a long trial for our family, and I believe that we will be stronger and more united from it.
Soon, we were on our way to our son's new house. Along the way, I kept thinking about what this reunion would be like. For many years, I didn't know how to get along with her. I don't know if her invitation was sincere or for some other purpose. These questions kept intertwining in my mind.
Finally arrived at my son's new house. The room was more spacious and comfortable than I expected. Looking at all this, I can't help but feel proud of my son. And my daughter-in-law was as warm as ever. In this short time together, she always tried her best to meet our needs, but I always held my breath in my heart.
In such an atmosphere, I thought that our family could get along with each other and have a good time together. However, it was not long before our family got into a quarrel over a trivial matter. My daughter-in-law and I are incompatible, and conflict is a matter of time. The reason for this unhappiness is about the child's education. My daughter-in-law has always been skeptical of my parenting style, she always thinks that I am too strict with my children, and I think she is doting on children. Our quarrel escalated and eventually turned into a heated conflict.
"Mom, you can't talk to us like that anymore, I don't like children growing up in such an atmosphere!" said the daughter-in-law angrily.
"You don't care about my way of upbringing, you're not her own mother!" I was also angry and accused.
The quarrel made the whole atmosphere extremely tense. The child became very depressed because of the quarrel between his grandparents and kept hiding aside and did not dare to speak. The three of us faced each other and were silent for a few moments. I'm starting to wonder if the trip makes sense. In my son's eyes, this reunion is very important, and in my daughter-in-law's opinion, this reunion is also very important, but in my opinion? I think this reunion is just a game.
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