Text: Feng Law lectures
Editor|Feng Lu lectures
[The content comes from readers' contributions]
The relationship between the sexes in China is relatively traditional, and since ancient times, there has been a saying of "one couple for a lifetime", and the relationship of "Ming media is marrying" is also emphasized. However, with globalization and the exchange of Chinese and Western cultures, the voice of "open gender relations" has slowly appeared on the Internet.
This makes people wonder what an open gender relationship is, and whether the existence of such a relationship is a social progress or a cultural invasion.
The explanation for an open relationship is to find someone to live with, and there is no legal relationship, so there is no need to bear any responsibility, no responsibility to the other party, but is this really suitable for most people?
How to deal with people who are impure and irresponsible? These are the unknowns of "open gender relations".
Family of origin influences
Gu Yue was born in a small town in Jiangxi Province in 1988, and she lives in a traditional family, which is often said to be "the female protagonist is inside, and the male protagonist is outside".
At home, Gu Yue's mother is responsible for taking care of the food and daily life of the whole family, and in the morning, Gu Yue's mother can be seen pouring breakfast in the kitchen.
You need to put the porridge on the table, and you need to get up to stir-fry the vegetables when the sky is bright, so that the whole family can eat hot rice.
But this is not enough, Gu Yue's father and younger brother saw that their mother was so hard-working, and they did not think about how to share the housework, but disliked their mother's cooking skills when eating, and the food they cooked was not as delicious as the outside.
When the mother was working hard, the father and son always stayed by the side with nothing to do, or lying on the sofa, or playing with their mobile phones, or playing games, and occasionally accusing Gu Yue's mother of not being right.
It is such a family environment that Gu Yue has a different understanding of the relationship between the sexes, and a special seed germinates in Gu Yue's heart.
Gu Yue is a particularly competitive girl, she has always been outstanding in her Xi, her grades are always among the best, and her teachers often praise Gu Yue. Neighbors often say: "Gu Yue's Xi is so powerful, if you marry a good husband in the future, it will be complete." ”
The words of the neighbors may have the effect of "fueling the fire" of Gu Yue's later cognition of the relationship between the sexes, and there are examples of the failure of the original family as "references", causing Gu Yue, who had just begun to have her own thoughts, to have the idea of leaving the country and going to a foreign country to accept new ideas.
After college, Gu Yue was successfully admitted to graduate school and went to the Netherlands to study.
In the past few years of studying abroad, Gu Yue accepted their "new ideas" in the Netherlands, and under the influence of hearing and witnessing, Gu Yue learned their "open gender relationship".
may be the negative impact of her original family, Gu Yue agrees with and looks forward to this relationship between the sexes. She doesn't want to work hard all her life, but she can't get a lifetime of respect, and she doesn't want to be a silk grass attached to men.
White-collar workers in Shanghai quit their jobs and returned to nature
originally thought that Gu Yue, who came back from studying in the Netherlands, would live a white-collar life in Shanghai, with a good resume, a decent salary, a group of good colleagues, and a relatively prosperous life.
But Gu Yue felt that this kind of repeated life was too boring, so she wanted to try more different things, and she didn't want to take the traditional path of life.
And as he grew older, the people around him were also urging Gu Yue to find a partner, but due to the influence of his original family, Gu Yue was a little disgusted with that traditional family life.
In addition, the discussion of the neighbors made Gu Yue even more disgusted, so Gu Yue thought of the "open gender relationship" that she learned when she studied in the Netherlands. She posted on Moments with the mentality of giving it a try, indicating whether anyone would like to live with her.
As soon as this circle of friends came out, he immediately got the strong dissatisfaction of Gu Yue's father, he didn't understand why a highly educated daughter would pursue an open gender relationship, and thought that Gu Yue had left her brain bad by studying abroad.
But Gu Yue ignored her father's strong opposition, resigned from her high-paying job in Shanghai without hesitation, and came to Dali, Yunnan with all her savings, where she started her own different life.
Gu Yue came to Dali, Yunnan, rented a homestay with her savings, lived in the mountains, had close contact with nature every day, and lived a "secluded life" of sunrise and sunset.
But people are terrible, after such a long time, the neighbors talked about Gu Yue, and they didn't understand why he came to live in this wilderness alone as a girl.
Amid the chatter of the neighborhood, Gu Yue realized that he urgently needed to find a partner, so that he could not only block the crowd, but also have someone to help each other and ensure his safety and privacy.
It may be that God favors this ill-fated girl, and suddenly a rural boy named Poplar Tree appears.
Senior white-collar workers explore open gender relationships
Born in 1994, Yang Shu grew up in the countryside, has strong life skills, and is honest and honest. Such a person is nothing more than a good "experimental subject" for Gu Yue, and Poplar fully meets Gu Yue's needs for the other half.
So after getting along, Gu Yue and Yang Shu started an "experiment"-an attempt at an open gender relationship.
Gu Yue also made it clear to Yang Shu that she would not marry Yang Shu and would not live the life of a housewife, but they could try to date and try an open gender relationship.
In the face of Gu Yue's request, Yang Shu expressed respect, but he didn't know what the model of this open gender relationship meant, only knew that Gu Yue lived with him, but they seemed to live their own lives.
They help each other in life, each of them is active in their own field of expertise, and the two of them do not live together, but each has their own bedroom, lives separately, and is financially independent.
They chartered a piece of land in the mountains, planted crops on the land, and would also take the surplus crops to the market to sell, and the income was also distributed according to the amount of labor, so Gu Yue would share less.
But living in the mountains, you don't need to consume anything, and basically the crops you grow can be self-sufficient, so the expenditure is not much, and if you don't have enough money, you can only eat the old money.
They also don't have any disputes about money, but in life, their needs are different due to the different living conditions of Guyue and Yangshu.
Gu Yue asked for a cleaner environment, but the poplars in the countryside were so-so, but since the two of them lived separately, it had little impact.
But Gu Yue's unexpected pregnancy broke this situation, because Gu Yue was pregnant and physically inconvenient, so they moved in together, and Yang Shu was also relatively accommodating to Gu Yue in terms of life.
They lived together in peace until the child came. But the birth of the child is also delivered by themselves, and they do not go to the hospital to deliver the baby.
Many people can't help but sigh that what will happen to their children in the future, they can't live in the mountains all the time like their parents!
Food for thought
Gu Yue's pursuit of an open gender relationship can't help but make people think deeply, can this kind of relationship without legal protection really be maintained? If Yang Shu was a person with no sense of responsibility, would Gu Yue's life be different?
Gu Yue has changed from a white-collar worker to a village woman now, how long can she persist in an open gender relationship?
Maybe this relationship is not for everyone, but they also don't ask others to be like them, so respect their choice, after all, they are not hurting anyone.