By chance, I discovered an important self-knowledge - I don't have high expectations of myself. That night, I was dragged on a blind date by my best friend, a 59-year-old uncle. I honestly said that I didn't have a good impression of this uncle, but I thought that it would be okay to know more people, so I reluctantly agreed to the blind date.
On the day of the blind date, the uncle bluntly put forward three conditions: "You must be sincere, kind, and ...... Wash and sleep. "I was amused by his humor, but I also inadvertently felt that I was tolerant and tolerant of myself. How outstanding this discovery is for me.
The next day, I went hiking with a group of friends for a day, and everyone had a great time. In the square, we suddenly saw a couple of lovers arguing, the woman was crying hysterically, and the man was standing by with a blank face. We went up to inquire and learned that it was because the man was under pressure at work, and the woman felt that he was neglecting her. Watching the two of them arguing in the square, I couldn't help but think of myself, if this uncle became my other half, what kind of way would we get along with each other?
When I got home, I sat alone on the balcony and was silent for a long time. Uncle's three conditions came back to me over and over again. Sincerity and kindness, I think I can do okay, but the phrase "wash and sleep" is meaningful. Maybe my uncle was just joking, but this sentence is a revelation to me, and it makes me feel a kind of warmth of being included, which is what I have been looking forward to.
As the night wore on, one condition filled me with anticipation for the future, while the other made me feel lost. It was a moment of inner struggle, a mixture of anticipation for the future and confusion about myself. What do I need to do next? Maybe I need more time and courage to think about it.
As time went on, I began to get used to getting along with my uncle. We went on dates, ate, walked, and the days went by peacefully and pleasantly. Uncle's humor and open-mindedness healed my heart and made me less stubborn and anxious.
However, the conflict in the family seems to be quietly escalating. My mom was faced with the emptiness and confusion of retirement, and she couldn't help but ask around about my blind dates and even help me introduce people. Although I knew that she had good intentions, I always had an indescribable sense of rejection. Every time I mentioned my uncle, she always showed a satisfied look and gave me marriage advice from time to time.
At a recent dinner, I couldn't help but release my frustration with my mother. I told her I didn't want her to arrange my marriage, and I didn't like to be treated like a child on this issue. Mom didn't speak, she ate silently, but her eyes were filled with tears. There seemed to be some subtle changes in our relationship, which made me feel a little guilty.
When I got home, I sat alone on the couch and quietly thought about my mother. Maybe she's out of control because she's worried about me too much, how can I be angry with her? After all, she's dedicated her life to me, hoping that I can live happily. I felt a sense of loss in my heart, and maybe I should talk to her about it.
During this time, my uncle behaved better and better to me and always took care of me considerately. And my mother seems to be more and more distant. I clearly felt my mother's loss and pain, and I couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt in my heart. I'm conflicted right now, how can I solve this dilemma?
While I was thinking about the future, something troublesome happened at home. The originally peaceful family suddenly had conflicts. As soon as I got home that day, I opened the door in a confused mood and immediately felt a hint of tension. It turned out that there was a family dispute at home that I had never experienced before.
Here's how it happened, my mother actually ran away from home because of a momentary battle of will. She said she needed to find some time to calm down, and my father and I tried to persuade her to stay, but she was unmoved. It was a huge shock to me because I always thought we were a united and harmonious family. Now, the mother is gone, and the father is silent, and this silence seems to spread throughout the house.
This incident made me quickly call my girlfriend to confide. She listened to my words and then whispered, "There are always some unpredictable things happening in life, and family disputes may not be forever. Her words gave me some comfort, but I still couldn't let go of the conflicts that arose in my family.
During this time at home, I tried to talk to my dad as much as I could, but I always encountered silence and non-talking, which made me feel anxious. I wanted to settle things at home, but I didn't know where to start. I longed to regain the warmth of my family, but the reality of the moment left me helpless.
I felt helpless like never before, and I didn't know how to deal with disputes in my family relationships. This question weighed on my heart like a heavy stone and left me breathless. I desire to lift the fog of this mind and bring peace to my family. But reality tells me that this is not an easy task.
I felt unusually lonely in the middle of the night, full of confusion and anxiety about the future. I don't know what else I can do for my family. This feeling of loneliness and helplessness left me feeling exhausted. This family conflict will be an unprecedented challenge for me, but I am willing to try, and I believe that family affection will eventually overcome everything, and we will regain the lost harmony, which is my deep belief in my heart.
I suddenly remembered a night more than a month ago. That day, I had a fight with my family. I felt aggrieved, and in order to escape this emotion, I chose to go out for a walk. However, in the middle of the night on the streets, I realized the feeling of emptiness of a person. In the darkness, I slowly felt an indescribable fear. Perhaps the phrase "wash and sleep" is not just a simple joke, but a kind of expectation and comfort for my future life.
As time passed, I gradually discovered that my uncle's sincerity and kindness, even if it seemed like a simple condition, revealed a longing and desire for family life. Faced with my inner conflict, I had to admit that I longed for the warmth of a home, but at the same time I was afraid of being bound by my family, and this contradiction made me feel at a loss.
This hesitation made me start to look at what I expected from my family and what I really wanted in my heart. I used to long for a shoulder that I could lean on, but life has taught me to learn to rely on myself, am I ready for a new life?
Actually, as early as the day of the blind date, I already had the answer. Uncle's "wash and sleep" may not be a simple overnight talk, but a kind of longing and yearning for family life. Perhaps, this sentence is the call of my heart's longing for home. I was a little overwhelmed by the germination of this contradiction. I was deeply pondered, and the contradictions in my heart made me a little unable to extricate myself.
This contradictory state made me understand myself better. The yearning for family, the desire for a stable life, maybe this is what I really desire in my heart. However, I am still at a loss as to how to face this relationship and how to welcome a new life. Perhaps, I need more time to sort out my mind and think about my future options.
I secretly felt that there was something hidden in my uncle's telling me, "Wash and sleep." When I was sorting out my thoughts, I suddenly received a call from my hometown, and although my mother said that it was okay, her tone was a little hurried. It turned out that my brother had been working late late, and my mother was worried that he would not be able to bear it. It occurred to me that this might be where I could help. So, I decided to go back to my hometown to give my brother some help and comfort.
Back in his hometown, the atmosphere at home was a little depressing, and my younger brother looked very tired. I chatted with him and found out that he has been working under a lot of pressure lately, but has to juggle a lot of tasks. I tried my best to share the work with him and kept an eye on his work status. Slowly, my younger brother got better and began to communicate more with his family. Mom was very relieved to see this.
However, during this time at home, I also discovered another thing that disturbed me. There was a rift in my parents' marriage. They began to get along indifferently, no longer arguing, but lacking the communication and warmth they used to have. I have persuaded them, but I have never broken this lonely situation. This makes me feel very frustrated because I am always trying to make my family happy.
Time flew by and I left my hometown and returned to my own life. On the way back, I silently pondered all this. Maybe happiness is not a vigorous love, maybe it is hidden in the bits and pieces of life. I was plagued by my own contradictions, and my definition of happiness became more and more blurred. In this complex world, I began to try to understand and tolerate, hoping to get some clarification in my heart. This discovery made me more aware of the contradictions and complexities in life.
Soon, my uncle and I met several times, and his humor and sincerity made me feel good about him. We started texting each other frequently and sometimes having a meal at a restaurant. Later, I invited my uncle to my house. I prepared a table of delicacies, but my uncle found an excuse to leave in a hurry. I was confused and disappointed because he hadn't tasted my dish or experienced the enthusiasm I had in store for him.
This sudden incident made me feel that my uncle didn't pay enough attention to me at all. I tried to contact him, but he always made excuses. It made me feel hurt and a little resentful. I began to wonder if he was genuine, was he just joking me, but on the other hand, I kept telling myself that maybe I was asking too much, maybe he was just busy. This inner contradiction plunged me into the abyss of pain.
When my parents learned about my relationship, they started calling me frequently to ask about my uncle. They advised me to get married early and stop being picky. Every time they persuade, I listened calmly, because I knew they were doing it for my good. But there is an inexplicable resistance in my heart, I don't want to marry someone who makes me suspicious.
It all got me into a bind, and I felt like I was forced to make a choice. Should I trust my parents' persuasion or my instincts? I began to weigh it again and again, struggling between reason and emotion. At this time, the mobile phone rang, and the uncle sent a message, saying that he wanted to explain the coldness during this time. Looking at this message, I didn't know how I should reply.
Life is like this, full of contradictions and choices. Perhaps, I need more time to face these issues than to make decisions in a panic. Now, I just want to face my feelings and find the most authentic answers.