Fate is like a button, you don't care too much about it when you dress every day.
If one day, you lose a button, and you are panicked.
Husband and wife should be the best fate. But many people don't know how to cherish each other, treat each other as air, and when fate comes to an end, it's too late to regret it.
Don't think that a certain third party who can defeat marriage is such a big thing as an affair. If there is no rift in the marriage, the third party will not be able to enter, and there will be no opportunity to snoop on it.
As the saying goes, "A grain of rat poop ruins a pot of porridge." "All big things come from small things, don't be negligent, you must know how to find and save.
It is true that the following signs have appeared in the relationship between husband and wife, indicating that the fate has ended, I hope you can understand it, and then prevent it.
01
Housework, which cannot be shared.
A man said, "What's so tiring about a woman doing some housework?"
Critic Li Ao said: "The new woman and the kitchen: the new women of the past go out of the kitchen; the modern new women do not go in at all." ”
The public says that the public is reasonable, and the mother-in-law says that the mother-in-law is reasonable. Anyway, no one really wants to do housework, men want to be big men who are finger-pointers, so that they have more face, and it's no wonder that it's too difficult and tiring to make money outside.
What about women? They also have to go to work, and they want to be more relaxed and coquettish after work. It's a pity that I can't, and according to tradition, I took on the housework, and from the first day of marriage, I walked towards the path of the yellow-faced woman.
Of course, there are also many women who have worked hard to be full-time wives and take care of their families. But men may not necessarily approve of it, and every month, when men pay for their living expenses, they may have a few verbose words, which are more difficult to hear.
Shen Ying, a talented woman during the Republic of China, married her teacher Liang Zongdai after ending her first marriage.
After a period of marriage, the husband and wife were very happy, but after having children, Shen Ying completely fell into housework. I wanted to be able to further my career, but my husband didn't agree.
In Liang Zongdai's view, women should work hard, like a snail girl.
A few children are making a fuss, and the wife is really irritable while doing housework while comforting them. Therefore, the conflict between husband and wife also came.
According to a survey conducted by the "China Youth Daily" survey center, 52.2% of the post-80s couples said that they had quarreled with their lovers because of the division of housework, and only 37.2% had not quarreled.
Doing housework every day, making a fuss every time, life must be a piece of chicken feathers, and when you find someone throwing pots and pans, it means that someone is starting to chill.
Who does the housework? In fact, we should share with each other.
My husband may be busy, but it's always okay to help. Especially on weekends, couples have time to do housework together, which is also a sight.
In terms of parenting, it is even more obvious, no one is missing, it is not good.
02
The three views are not the same.
One wants to go to the south and the other to the north, one wants to eat white rice porridge, the other wants to drink, one encourages the child to read, and the other wants the child to learn to dance...... Couples who can't be on the same channel will inevitably get separated and go their separate ways.
Colleague Xiaoli, after getting married, her mother-in-law came to help take care of the baby.
From Monday to Friday, the mother-in-law is at Xiaoli's house, and the mother-in-law goes back to her small home on weekends, and the child is handed over to Xiaoli.
The mother-in-law did her best, but Xiaoli was not satisfied. The old people always have some Xi, which is different from today's young people.
For example, the mother-in-law likes to use diapers, which are all old clothes, likes to visit the neighborhood and do homework, and sometimes, the mother-in-law also takes the children to go shopping, but is reluctant to buy things, especially toys, thinking that it is too much.
One day, Xiaoli complained a few words in front of her husband, saying that her mother-in-law was not in various ways.
The husband immediately became angry: "Why don't you respect my mother?"
It turned out that in the eyes of the husband, what the mother-in-law did was right, after all, the mother and son were connected, and one nostril was out of breath. Xiaoli is an outsider, and when she talks about her mother-in-law, she is not filial and doesn't know what to do.
Usually, Xiaoli also has a lot of parenting ideas, but she does not dare to communicate with her husband. Because her husband is very stubborn, he doesn't think differently from himself.
Good exchanges always end in tragedy.
A psychologist once said, "Each of us subconsciously has a guide to find our ideal partner." ”
Everyone speaks from their own point of view, hoping that the other person will understand them. Both of them do not give in to each other, and the result is "three views do not agree".
A good couple may not have the same view of 100% of the time, but they must have empathy - think from each other's point of view and observe life.
Learning to accommodate is a compulsory course for couples. When you can't say a piece, shut up, slow down, maybe you can understand the other person.
03
Angry, not to be outdone.
All anger begins with impulsiveness and ends with regret. What's worse is that there is no regret medicine in the world.
Husbands and wives keep getting angry, so they keep arguing, always cold wars, and always avoiding problems.
Even if there are steps, people who are angry will not go down, but go to a higher place, arrogant, and have to win by themselves.
Let's talk about the talented girl Shen Ying.
For a while, her husband Liang Zongdai went back to his hometown to mourn, and by the way, he watched a few plays and was attracted by the woman Gan Shaosu who sang the opera. When he learned that the woman was forcibly asked to be a concubine by a local officer, he paid for a ransom.
Shen Ying knew what her husband was doing, so she left a sentence: "Never see you again in this life." ”
When the husband saw this, he was angry and said, "Divorce is divorce, and children can be reborn." ”
Husbands and wives consume each other, and the marriage comes to an end. Didn't see each other for years, and didn't correspond.
The novelist Turgenev said: "There is nothing to be angry about, as long as you do not exaggerate the state of affairs out of anger." ”
Yes, when you are angry, the little things are magnified and you can't reconcile. If you calm down, the little things are not worth mentioning.
People who know how to show weakness are like a sponge, giving tenderness and making love elastic.
04
Cartoonist Zhu Deyong said: "Life is like a labyrinth, we spend the first half of our lives looking for the entrance, and the second half of our lives looking for the exit." ”
It's hard to meet someone, hold hands and walk into the palace of marriage, don't go out at will.
The exit of marriage is never divorce, but husband and wife working together to find a way out of life and meet the rising sun of tomorrow.
After spending your youth, you can still watch the sunset together, this is the last exit.
Learn to manage a marriage, everything has a temperature: housework, husband and wife do it together, three views, let each other go, get angry, and put an end to overzealousness.
Life is so short, live a good life, don't waste it.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The source of the pictures in the article is from the Internet.