My husband Li Ming and I have been married for two years, but our married life is not satisfactory. The reason is that I have some contradictions with his kinship. My mother-in-law has a strong personality and always demands that everything be done according to her wishes, while I am more independent and don't like to be commanded. Such personality conflicts lead us to often quarrel over trivial things.
Three months ago, my husband and I decided to buy my mother-in-law a new refrigerator to replace her old one, which was half broken. We agreed on a budget and were going to spend 2,500 yuan on a new refrigerator. I looked up some information on refrigerator brands, considered the price and performance, and finally locked in a refrigerator with the right price and full functions.
When I called my mother-in-law to tell her that she was going to buy her a refrigerator, she was not too surprised to hear it, and simply said, "Thank you." "It also makes me feel a little lost, but I think maybe it's because she's not the kind of person who is good at articulating.
Although the mother-in-law did not show too much excitement, her daughter-in-law Yang Li always liked to join in the fun. Yang Li is her husband's sister-in-law, and since she got married, she has often come to our house and likes to follow us to do things. She was a bit of a pick-up and always said things to me that made me uncomfortable.
That day, when my husband and I went to the mall to pick up a refrigerator, Yang Li also came over. After she saw the refrigerator we selected, she seemed to be very interested, and kept following us to ask this and that. I felt something wasn't right, but I was too embarrassed to speak. Yang Li seems to be more enthusiastic, but she doesn't agree with her hypocrisy in her heart.
When I got home, I discussed it with my husband and decided to send this new refrigerator to my mother-in-law first. Since it was bought for her mother-in-law, she should use it first, which is natural. So, the next day, my husband and I delivered the refrigerator to my mother-in-law's house.
A few days after I didn't want to send it, I saw a familiar figure at home, and it turned out to be Yang Li. She came over and said to me with a smile, "Sister-in-law, I heard that you bought a new refrigerator for my mother-in-law, it's great!" As soon as she finished speaking, I saw that she had loaded the new refrigerator I had given to my mother-in-law in the car.
I was a little stunned, and I didn't understand why Yang Li did this. I hurriedly asked her, "Yang Li, what are you putting the refrigerator in the car for? Didn't you buy it for your mother-in-law?" She smiled faintly and said, "I took a fancy to that refrigerator, and it happened that my refrigerator was broken, so I took it back by the way." "Hearing her explanation, I felt a little unacceptable. We obviously bought the refrigerator for my mother-in-law, how come it is now hers.
I can't understand Yang Li's approach, let alone why she always joins in the fun like this. I said a little angrily: "Yang Li, how can you do this? The refrigerator was bought for my mother-in-law, not yours!" She listened to my words, the smile on her face gradually disappeared, and she said a little embarrassed: "I'm sorry sister-in-law, I didn't expect to cause a misunderstanding, I will return the refrigerator to my mother-in-law." With that, she hurried away.
Looking at her departing back, I felt a little guilty in my heart, maybe I misunderstood her too deeply. Maybe she didn't mean to join in the fun, she just wanted to enjoy it with us.
This incident gave me a new understanding of the relationship between my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. Perhaps the conflicts and disputes in the family are not only a matter of personal wishes and personalities, but more often a misunderstanding caused by insufficient communication. I thought maybe I should sit down with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to talk about each other's thoughts and feelings.
After I calmed down, I felt that maybe I was too sensitive to Yang Li. After all, she is her husband's sister-in-law, and she is still related to me. Maybe she really just wanted a new refrigerator and had no other intentions.
A few days later, I went to visit my mother-in-law's house. After entering the house, I saw that the new refrigerator that originally belonged to my mother-in-law was actually back in place. I was a little surprised and asked my mother-in-law: "Mother-in-law, is your refrigerator back again?Did Yang Li return it to you?" Mother-in-law sat on the sofa and nodded with a smile: "Yes, Yang Li took the initiative to return the refrigerator to me." She said she wanted a new refrigerator on a whim. Hearing my mother-in-law's answer, I felt a relief in my heart, it turned out that my misunderstanding of Yang Li was superfluous.
Yang Li's actions made me understand her a little more. I decided to take the initiative to communicate with her to deepen our understanding and clear up misunderstandings.
A few days later, I invited Yang Li to go out shopping, and I planned to have a good chat with her during the shopping process. We walked slowly in the shopping mall, and I opened my mouth to break the silence: "Yang Li, I'm sorry I misunderstood your intentions before. Thank you for returning the fridge to my mother-in-law. Yang Li replied with a smile: "It's okay, I also understand your reaction at the time, after all, we don't know enough about each other, which caused a misunderstanding." I continued: "During this time, I also reflected on my attitude towards my mother-in-law, and I should respect and understand her more. Yang Li nodded in understanding: "Yes, after all, my mother-in-law has been helping out in our family, and she also has her own difficulties and concerns." ”
Gradually, in our communication, I found out that Yang Li is actually a person who is shackled by the family environment. As a sister-in-law, she is often restricted and wronged by her status. When she talked about her parents' status in the family, I saw the helplessness and loss in her eyes. I deeply feel that everyone in our family has their own contradictions and entanglements.
Although there are still some conflicts and controversies in our families, we should look at the problems from each other's perspectives and be more understanding and tolerant. Everyone in the family has their own worries and confusions, and it is only through true communication and mutual respect that we can build a harmonious family.
Suddenly, the mother-in-law entered the hospital. This time, she was in a very serious condition and needed surgery. My husband and I were very worried and took care of her wholeheartedly.
After the surgery, the mother-in-law needed to stay in bed to recuperate. I cook every day, prepare nutritious meals for her, and take care of her daily life. Although my relationship with my mother-in-law has not been very good, at this time, I hope to be able to improve our relationship with practical actions.
However, I didn't expect that Yang Li never showed up. This surprised me a little because she always likes to join in the fun, but now she doesn't bring any care and attention to her mother-in-law. I began to wonder if Yang Li's motive was that she was only interested in our affairs and not concerned about her mother-in-law's condition.
Soon after, the mother-in-law's condition showed signs of improvement. Doctors advised her to move more and exercise more to promote recovery. I immediately thought of the new refrigerator for my mother-in-law. I thought it would be better for my mother-in-law to be more active, so it might be better to have a refrigerator so that she can easily access drinks and fruits at any time.
So, I decided to buy a new refrigerator for my mother-in-law once again. This time, I didn't tell anyone. I bought a new one from the refrigerator I had picked up and planned to put it in my mother-in-law's bedroom so that she could use it at any time.
After buying the refrigerator, I secretly carried it to my mother-in-law's bedroom by myself, ready to surprise her. However, just as I was setting up the refrigerator and preparing to leave, Yang Li walked in unexpectedly.
A hint of surprise flashed in her eyes, but she quickly regained her composure and said to me with a smile: "Sister-in-law, you are really a filial person, and your mother-in-law will be very happy." I smiled and thanked him.
Unexpectedly, when I was about to leave, Yang Li suddenly spoke again: "Sister-in-law, in fact, I also want to buy a gift for my mother-in-law, but I don't know what to buy." Her voice was a little low, and there was a hint of helplessness in her expression.
I looked at her and felt a wave of pity in my heart. Maybe I had a misunderstanding of her, but she wasn't completely devoid of thoughts. I remembered that she "snatched" the refrigerator before, maybe she just needed a home appliance to take care of her life.
I didn't reproach her, but said softly: "Yang Li, my mother-in-law needs our company and care now, maybe you can chat with her more and walk with her, these are more important than any gifts." ”
A trace of guilt and realization flashed on Yang Li's face, and she nodded, indicating that she accepted my suggestion.
With the passage of time, the atmosphere of the family becomes warm and harmonious. Through this interaction, Yang Li and I have slowly established a relationship of understanding and tolerance. I understand that disputes and conflicts in the family are not unsolvable, and the key lies in everyone's communication and compromise.
My mother-in-law's condition is gradually improving, and she is very satisfied with the improvement between me and Yang Li. And I also understand that family is not only a personal interest, but also an emotional bond, and only mutual tolerance and care can truly maintain a harmonious family relationship.
Yang Li took the refrigerator away, and the guilt in my heart became deeper and deeper. I obviously misunderstood her, but I didn't take the initiative to communicate with her, but vented my anger on her. The conflict escalated, and I became more and more unable to deal with it.
Soon after, Yang Li's husband, Liu Qiang, learned of the quarrel between me and Yang Li. He hurriedly found me and said earnestly: "Little sister-in-law, I know that you and Yang Li have a misunderstanding, but she is actually a good person. She used to live independently, and she was not very clear about the role of marriage and family. I hope you can forgive her, communicate with her sincerely, and solve this series of problems. ”
Liu Qiang's words made me think deeply. Ever since I married into this family, I have always wanted to fit in and play the role of a good daughter-in-law. However, my independent nature made it difficult for me to conform to traditional family values. Perhaps, I also need to change myself and give my family more tolerance and understanding.
I decided to follow Liu Qiang's suggestion, find Yang Li, and sit down to have a good talk. I apologized to her and admitted that I had misunderstood her intentions. She also sincerely apologized to me, saying that she really didn't think about and communicate well.
During that conversation, we gradually understood each other's situation and thoughts. Yang Li wants to be able to get the warmth and love of her family, while I want to be respected and recognized. We came to a consensus and decided to start with mutual understanding and work together to improve family relationships.
Since then, I have taken the initiative to communicate with my mother-in-law and listen to her thoughts and opinions. I found out that she was actually a person who cared about her family, but in a different way. She gradually softened her attitude towards me and began to respect my independence.
Yang Li and I have also become good friends, and we share the joys and sorrows of life together, supporting and encouraging each other. With our efforts, the family atmosphere has become harmonious, and family disputes and contradictions have been gradually resolved.
Conflicts between families are common, but as long as you are good at communication and understanding, you will be able to find a solution to the problem. Each of us has different personalities and experiences, but as long as we learn to be tolerant and tolerant, we will be able to enjoy the warmth and happiness brought by family.
In the days that followed, my relationship with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law did not improve significantly. I'm no longer surprised by what they're doing, and I'm no longer trying to change them. I understand that everyone has their own ideas and ways of doing things, and I should also learn to respect and accept them.
However, one night, a sudden rainstorm brought new contradictions to our family life. That evening, my husband and I were preparing dinner at home when suddenly there was lightning and thunder in the sky, and heavy rain poured down. We quickly closed the windows and hid inside waiting for the rain to stop.
Just then, the phone rang suddenly. I picked up the phone and found out that it was my mother-in-law calling. Her voice sounded hurried and anxious: "Daughter, come here, my roof here is leaking!" As soon as I heard it, I understood that the heavy rain had made a mess of my mother-in-law's house, and I definitely needed help.
My husband and I immediately packed our things and braved the rain to go to my mother-in-law's house. When we got there, we found out that the roof of my mother-in-law's house was indeed leaking, and the water was leaking from the roof, which not only made the room wet, but also damaged the furniture and floor.
I quickly found some basins and rags to deal with the leak temporarily. My husband went to a nearby grocery store to buy some plastic sheeting and tape to make temporary repairs to the roof. We were busy for a while, and finally the situation in the house stabilized a little.
Just as we were about to go home, my sister-in-law Yang Li also came over. After she saw the situation at her mother-in-law's house, she showed a concerned expression: "Mother-in-law, are you okay? Don't worry, I will find a way to help you fix the roof." As soon as she finished speaking, she made a gesture of going to the house to repair it.
I was a little surprised, but I didn't say anything. My husband looked at me and said softly, "Yang Li, you don't have to go to the house to repair it, we have already taken measures, and we will ask someone to come over to repair it when the weather is fine tomorrow." Yang Li was obviously a little disappointed, but still nodded.
That evening, my husband and I returned home together. We sat on the couch and listened to the rain pounding on the window, filled with conflicting feelings. I was a little surprised by my sister-in-law's concern, and it seemed that she really did it with good intentions. But on the other hand, it was still difficult for me to completely let go of my doubts and distrust of her.
Perhaps, the contradictions in this family cannot be completely resolved. Everyone has their own ideas and ways of dealing with problems, and we can only try to accept and tolerate them. Perhaps, only with the passage of time and in the process of getting along can these contradictions be gradually resolved and a harmonious family relationship can be truly realized.
We decided to sit down with my mother-in-law and Yang Li again and have a good conversation. We agreed to have dinner together at home at lunchtime on the weekend. My husband and I prepared a hearty meal in advance, hoping to get closer to each other by spending time together.
At the appointed time, my mother-in-law and Yang Li both arrived at our house on time. Our family sat around the dining table, and laughter filled the room. I tried to create a relaxed and friendly atmosphere that broke the previous awkwardness and indifference.
I took the initiative to apologize to my mother-in-law and explained the misunderstanding in the refrigerator before. I said, "Mother-in-law, I'm sorry for the confusion, but we actually bought the refrigerator for you, because we know that your refrigerator is half broken and want to buy you a new one." My mother-in-law listened to my explanation, and a smile of emotion and relief appeared on her face.
Yang Li also apologized, admitting that it was her impulsive mistake, and promised to return the refrigerator to her mother-in-law. After we apologized to each other, the atmosphere gradually eased.
Next, we started to speak up and share our thoughts and feelings. My mother-in-law recounted the moment when she thought we cared less about her and disappointed her. "Maybe I'm too sensitive, but for me, the actions of your fridge give me a feeling of neglect," she said. "I was shocked because I never thought she would feel that way.
My husband and I were very honest in expressing our love and respect for her to my mother-in-law, and promised to pay more attention to her emotions and needs in the future, and communicate with her well. My mother-in-law eventually accepted our apology and promise, and said that she would try to change her attitude.
Through this dinner and communication, we gradually eliminated misunderstandings and estrangements. Conflicts in the family are inevitable, but as long as they treat each other sincerely and are good at communication, they will definitely be able to resolve disputes and maintain family harmony.
As for Yang Li, during this dinner, she also gained a deeper understanding of our relationship. She said that in the future, she will pay more attention to her words and deeds and stop doing misleading things.