My name is Zhang Wan, I am 42 years old, and my husband and I have been working together for many years. Once upon a time, we had a lovely son. However, the year before last, he was involved in an accident and his life passed away in an instant, and her husband fell into deep thoughts. In the same year, her husband was diagnosed with cancer, and his life hung in the balance.
Late at night, the husband passed away softly at the end of his life. At about two o'clock in the morning, I stayed by his side and burst into tears. However, he tried to wipe away my tears and told me not to be too sad.
We were almost alone in the city. After losing our son, only the two of us struggled through the years of grief and felt that life was worse than death. My husband's illness seems to be directly related to the loss of my son, and he spends his days grieving at the pictures of his son, and I look at it like a knife. Sometimes, he sat silently in his son's room, not talking, eating or drinking all day, and his tears soaked the floor. I could only force myself to keep my composure and try to comfort him, but in the process of persuasion, we both broke down together, hugged our heads and cried.
When her husband was diagnosed with cancer, he seemed calm. He said that life is like this, that what should come will always come, and besides, even if the treatment does not work, he will meet his son in heaven. The husband refused surgery and did not accept chemotherapy and radiotherapy, and he did not want to waste money and time. In the past two years, he has taken me to many places, Xinjiang, Tibet, Northeast China, and Southwest China......
During the trip, I rarely spoke. Sometimes I just reminded him of his illness gently, but I didn't have the courage to continue. My husband apologized and said that he might not have much time to spend with me in this life. In the face of illness, he spent all his family funds, he cared about my future, after all, there are no relatives around me, everything depends on me.
I told him that if you were gone, what was the point of me being alone. It's better for us to be together as a family. But my husband slapped me on the head and didn't let me be delusional. He knew that his time was short, so a few days before he died, he asked me to sit next to him, carrying a notebook, and he wrote down important matters such as his bank deposits, bank passwords, how to dress and eat, and even which website was the most affordable to buy tissues.
When parting, the husband smiled and said, "Live well in the future, neither my son nor I want to see you decadent." To reassure him, I whispered, "I'll try to live." ”
In the early hours of the morning, the cold wind was howling, and the husband was reluctant to leave. He kept holding my hand, and I saw the helplessness on his face, which was full of unwillingness and reluctance. However, the disease ruthlessly took his life, and he took his last breath and closed his eyes forever.
At this point, I didn't shed a tear. The tears had long since dried up, and I knew that this day would come sooner or later, and my husband was so devastated by the illness that he went to another world, perhaps it was a relief.
I lay quietly beside him, gently caressing his face, whispering about my reluctance to him, and telling about the beauty of the previous family. Even though he couldn't hear it, I'm sure he could feel it. He went to another world, reunited with his son, and left the world with only one me!
This world is so unforgiving, I can't help but curse heaven and earth!
I chose a wonderful cemetery for him and buried his remains. I plan to sell my house and car and prepare to wander around the world. Maybe somewhere, I will meet their father and son, that's my greatest hope! I've been in this world, but there's no place worth staying.