#头条讲真的#
Keigo Higashino once said in "White Night Walking": "There are two things in the world that cannot be looked at directly, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart." ”
If you look directly at the sun, you will be struck by its light and heat, and if you look directly at the human heart, you will be bewildered by its complexity and depth.
In this vast world, there are too many people who are hypocritical, approaching themselves with the mask of hypocrisy, in vain to obtain benefits and benefits.
And the more honest and kind people are, the easier it is to become their target, and the easier it is to be hurt by the traps they set.
There's nothing wrong with being kind, but no one wants to be a fish on someone else's chopping block and be slaughtered at will.
If you don't want to be pinched as a soft persimmon by others, please be sure to keep these 3 sentences in mind, even one is a good thing.
01
Be cautious and leave room for your words
The reason why an honest person is called so by others is not actually a compliment, but it means that he is too easy to trust others.
As long as others show the slightest kindness, they will treat the other person as someone they can trust and confide in their hearts.
It is precisely because of such negligence that it is easy for the other party to grasp the handle or weakness, and it is either calculated or used.
People with ulterior motives are the best at grasping the trust of good people and using them to make more benefits for themselves.
People with good hearts just can't see through this, and with a little guidance from the other party, they will tell everything and everything, and they don't know how to avoid suspicion at all.
He Ruobi, a famous general during the Sui Dynasty, was regarded as the backbone of important ministers by Emperor Wen of Sui because of his meritorious efforts in destroying Nan Chen, and he also trusted him very much.
However, although He Ruobi was brave and good at fighting on the front line, he did not understand political affairs in the court, and he spoke straightforwardly, and did not know how to retreat and compromise.
Yang Su, who was an official in the same dynasty, had a tense relationship with He Ruobi, but Yang Su was well versed in officialdom, was very calculating, and frequently suppressed the other party.
He Ruobi, who felt the danger, couldn't help but vomit bitterness in front of everyone, frantically complaining about Yang Su's wrongness, and his words were quite resentful.
Emperor Wen of Sui had always been disgusted with the party strife within the court, and was very dissatisfied with He Ruobi's public exposure of contradictions, so he gradually distanced himself from him.
As the saying goes: "Misfortune comes from the mouth, illness enters from the mouth; it is difficult to collect it when it is covered with water, and it is difficult to get rid of evil words." ”
People who are truly intelligent are often cautious in their words and deeds, calm and low-key, do not talk exaggeratedly, and do not confide in people.
02
Do things to keep the bottom line and dare to say no
The reason why the good people in life are always oppressed by others is that the other party has crossed the border, but at the same time, they don't know how to refuse.
Either because of their own face, or because they are worried about the breakdown of their relationship, they will accept all the requests made by others.
Even if the other party's requirements are very excessive and have touched their bottom line, they still have to compromise and try their best to satisfy the other party.
As everyone knows, it is precisely because of his own step by step concession that the other party will gain an inch, thinking that he can be manipulated by him casually.
If you don't know how to refuse, others will push all the dirty work to yourself, tolerate everywhere, and in the eyes of others, it is just weakness.
In the movie "Fanghua", Liu Feng, who was elected by everyone as the "Lei Feng pacesetter", is a typical good man who does not know how to reject others.
He willingly eats dumpling wrappers that others don't eat, even if no one forces him.
In order to better integrate with everyone, he also took the initiative to take over all the heavy work of the art troupe and took the initiative to help others solve problems.
But in the end, except for the false name of a "model pacesetter", no one remembered his goodness, and no one recognized his kindness.
In the eyes of everyone, Liu Feng is just a tool man who is easy to use, as long as it is a job that is difficult to solve, all can be pushed to him.
As Osamu Dazai said in "Human Disqualification":
"My misfortune lies precisely in my lack of ability to refuse, and I am afraid that if I reject someone, I will leave a rift in each other's hearts that will never heal. ”
Kindness can only be precious if there is a bottom line and principles, and only by learning to reject others can you achieve yourself.
03
Silently improve yourself and win with strength
Psychologically speaking, it is in everyone's nature to bully the weak and fear the hard, worship and envy the strong, and despise and despise the weak.
When the other party is inferior to himself, even if there is a lot of pity and sympathy in his heart, he can't hide the superiority in his bones.
When the other party is stronger than himself, even if he repeatedly tells himself not to show cowardice, he can't hide the admiration in his heart.
The lions of the African savannah live in an environment where there are almost no natural predators except for their own kind, and most animals are afraid of it.
Antelope zebras and crocodile boars are all regulars on their diets, but there is only one herbivore, the lion, that is rarely killed: elephants.
Because elephants are not only much larger than lions, but also have an extremely fiery temper, they often travel in groups, and the lions can only be frightened.
Herbivores are like honest people, when you are too weak, they are easy to be hunted, and they are powerless to resist when they are hurt.
Only if you continue to improve your ability and become strong enough, even if others want to calculate and use it, you will have nowhere to start.
Huang Bo once said:
"It turned out that there were all kinds of people around me, suppressing each other, and now everyone around me calls me Mr. Huang, and they are all good people. ”
It's not that the bad guy suddenly becomes a good guy, it's that he's good and strong enough, and the bad guy can't be bad in front of him.
So, if you want to have a place in a complex society, you need to improve your abilities and become more valuable people.
Strength is always the best sword to balance relationships, and it is also the best shield to fight back against those who plot against bad intentions.
There is a saying in "Zengguang Xianwen": "You can't have the heart of harming people, and you can't have the heart of guarding against people." ”
Kindness is precious, and it should not only be exposed to fragility, but also with piercing spikes to protect oneself.
Like a thorny rose, it is bright and beautiful when it blooms, but if someone else wants to pick it, there is also a price to pay.
We don't hurt others ourselves, and we don't want to be deceived and used by others, and we don't keep putting up with them.
In this life, people have to walk with kindness, but your kindness should be a bit "sharp".
When your kindness has a sharp edge, your life has reached a new realm, and you can move forward fearlessly for the rest of your life.