"I hate you, how can I go back now, unless I die!"
The content of the chat dialog on this phone is full of anger. One can't help but wonder, what happened to make the owner of the phone so devastated?
It turned out that the owner of the phone was a 16-year-old girl, but she was no longer alive.
01
A 16-year-old girl committed suicide,
Chat history exposed
Back in 2019.
The girl's name is Xinxin, and she is a student at a vocational school in Chongqing.
Her family is poor, her parents are both old, she is the eldest daughter in the family, and she has two younger sisters who are in school.
It is said that the children of the poor are in charge of the house early, and the same is true of the heart, but the age of the flower season is earlier than that of their peers, and they never let their parents worry more.
After entering the vocational school, I desperately wanted to share some financial pressure for my family and prove my ability.
But with no background and no connections, she didn't know how to get a good job.
At that time, Liu Dong entered this vocational school and served as the head teacher of Xinxin's class.
The isolated girl, as if she had found a glimmer of hope, approached Teacher Liu and asked her to help her find a job.
However, no one expected that this would be the beginning of a tragedy.
Liu Dong's chat with Xinxin gradually became ambiguous, and he asked her out alone many times, and even went to the hotel to open a room 5 times.
Liu Dong also did not introduce her to work, at that time, Xinxin's mother was hospitalized, and her father urged Xinxin to go home, and disappointment and anxiety became the last bullet to break Xinxin's psychological defense.
She did not respond to Liu Dong's call, and under the collapse of her mentality, she swallowed 20 cold medicines on the day of her suicide.
On the third day of the Lunar New Year for family reunion, Heartbeat committed suicide and fixed his life at the age of 16.
Three years later, this case is still a chicken feather. Xinxin's father claimed that Liu Dong never fulfilled his obligation to pay compensation.
Although Liu Dong has repeatedly emphasized that he did not have an improper relationship with Xinxin, he will not escape the blame after all, and netizens have also questioned: She is not a minor and ignorant, are you also ignorant?
Obviously, this is a teacher-student love that ended in tragedy.
02
Why don't we accept teacher-student love?
With the development of the times to this day, people's concepts are gradually open and diverse, and they pursue the freedom of love, but only "teacher-student love" will be excluded from blessings.
As soon as the three words "teacher-student love" appeared, it would cause a big wave of public opinion, because the identities of the two were obviously unequal, which was contrary to the innocent and simple teaching relationship in the secular sense.
Why don't we accept teacher-student love?
Because, it is not as innocent and beautiful as it is described in the novel.
When I was a student, my life was relatively regular, and my home and campus were two points and one line.
In addition to parents, teachers are the adults that children have the most contact with, and adolescent children, in their teens, are the time when feelings sprout.
If the teacher happens to be knowledgeable and young, he will naturally be loved and sought after by the students.
Some students will like teachers and want to be as good as teachers, so they have also embarked on the path of education, which is the inheritance of teaching and educating people.
But if you pull some distance, it will inevitably produce other emotions, crossing the red line of the normal relationship between teachers and students, which is not allowed.
Teachers are also ordinary people, standing on the podium to show the best state of teaching, creating a strong and inclusive sense of security, is the embodiment of the teacher's due diligence.
Walking out of the campus, each has its own life, and there will also be triviality and exhaustion of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
The teacher I liked when I was young may just be a projection of good feelings, or it may simply lack companionship and desire the support of the elderly.
Moreover, at this time, students are not able to recognize love and admiration very well, and their hearts are immature and prone to excesses.
There are too many examples of teachers and students falling in love with each other and ending up without a problem, due to the asymmetry of identity and information, the teacher, as an adult, can recover the loss of a relationship, but the student is immature and will fall into great pain and collapse.
An art blogger once revealed that she had students and teaching assistants in love in the studio where she was training, but she never thought that the teaching assistants already had a home, and after the summer training camp ended, she cut off her relationship and no longer corresponded.
This incident made the student extremely devastated, unable to accept the fact that he had become a third party, unable to draw any longer, and even self-harmed and admitted to the hospital.
Such a result is regrettable, why waste your best years of struggle to love a person with no result?
For teachers, not falling in love with students is the most basic teacher morality, and using power for personal gain, and having an indecent teacher-student love affair is a great humiliation to the nobility of the teaching profession.
The book "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" wrote about Fang Siqi's tragic experience of being deceived by her Chinese teacher Li Guohua.
At that time, Fang Siqi was only 13 years old, Li Guohua was in his 40s, and he had a family, and he seduced and raped female students, Fang Siqi was just one of them.
It would be nice if this was a fictional novel, but this is a real experience that happened to the author Lin Yihan, and every word is painful.
And Chen Guoxing, the prototype of "Li Guohua", was not prosecuted until Lin Yihan committed suicide due to a mental breakdown.
A few years ago, the scandals of professors sexually harassing students that came out from time to time in colleges and universities have been repeatedly exposed and caused huge discussions.
In foreign countries, many colleges and universities have explicitly banned teacher-student love, such as Princeton University, which has always been low-key, because of the complete ban on teacher-student love.
Because of teacher-student love and sexual harassment, sometimes it is only a thought.
Teacher Luo Xiang also said: "Students regard such infatuation as love, but they are actually exploited by the elderly. ”
This era is indeed open, but it is not an indulgence of deformed feelings that grow at will.
03
Teachers and friends, but not lovers
As a teacher, you can have admiration for your students, but it must not be love.
In the hit drama "Yi Nian Guan Mountain", Changqing Hou Li Tongguang has indescribable feelings for his master Ren Ruyi, who cultivated him, but fortunately, Ren Ruyi did not spoil his apprentice and directly rejected this distorted love.
Although in the TV series, netizens who knock CP will feel aggrieved and worthless for Li Tongguang, Ren Ruyi's approach is correct, and rejecting Li Tongguang is really for the sake of his future.
In real life, if you encounter a student's confession to a teacher, before figuring out the reason why the children love you, you must advise them to stay sober and respect the teacher.
If a student behaves in an extreme way, the teacher can apply to the school for help in time to avoid further incidents.
As a student, you can have admiration for your teacher, but you must not be in love.
If you feel lonely because of the lack of companionship, and you have an extra good impression of the teacher you get along with every day, remember to stay vigilant, shift your attention as soon as possible, and withdraw from it.
Qiong Yao used to love her teacher, but she was forcibly transferred by her parents "beating mandarin ducks", and she wrote this lingering love between teachers and students as "Outside the Window", which became the youth memory of a generation.
But a novel is a novel after all, and in reality, don't have a "filter" for the teacher and imagine a better future.
It should be understood that if you really want to follow in the footsteps of your teachers, you should focus on your own studies is the right way.
As a parent, give more care to your child and guide your child to love correctly.
The family is a child's first school, and parents are the child's first teacher.
When children enter puberty, in addition to paying attention to their studies, they should also pay more attention to their physical and mental changes, so that children are willing to take the initiative to communicate with their parents.
On the premise of respecting the teacher, understand the teacher's personality and do not let the child be alone with the teacher of the opposite sex.
Because there is always a wolf in sheep's clothing, and there is a knife in his smile.
You can't have the heart to hurt others, but you can't have the heart to defend people.
Parents are the strongest backing and the first line of defense for their children.
Write at the end
It cannot be ruled out that there are cases of teacher-student love achieving positive results, but not in the majority.
Usually, the relationship between teachers and students is dissolved, and each welcomes each other's love with a decent and excellent ability.
The people who really love you will wait for you to grow up, not when you are the most naïve and naïve.
The person you truly love will be worth trying to follow, rather than craving temporary companionship and pleasure.
When you step out of the campus and see a wider world, your mood will change differently.
Once full of him/her, he or she may just be a passerby in your long life.
I hope that you and I are young students are pure love.
Author|Caviar Bai Zhou
#看见人间百态#