Parenting comes first.
Behind an excellent child, there are often parents who are constantly reflecting and growing.
Many times, the key person that parents need to face is not the child, but the inner self.
Only by upgrading one's own mind, completing the awakening of wisdom, and being a growing parent can we truly accompany our children to grow up happily together.
Parents love their children, but many times they lack the ability to love, and love their children in the wrong way, and eventually turn this love into harm!
Every child is a blank piece of paper, parents are the people who paint, and the key to what the blank paper becomes is the parents!
Therefore, if you want to be a qualified parent and truly love your children, you must grow yourself!
Growthal parents believe that their child's potential is limitless, and they are committed to providing a positive, supportive, and encouraging educational environment that will help their child achieve his or her dreams and goals.
In the "Growing Parents" written by Mr. Zhang Yang, through a variety of stories, he tells us how to grow up with children and accompany them to grow up happily.
This book will plant a seed of "yearning" for you, triggering you to start your own "growing parenting journey, through conscious cultivation, to grow into a flower" and "bloom" into a beautiful posture.
Why do we want to be parents?
"What kind of parents do we aspire to be?"
I don't know if we, as parents, have seriously thought about this issue.
The author, Zhang Yang, said that she did not put too much effort into raising her children, but put more energy into raising herself.
Because she believes that the key person we need to face is not the child, but our inner self.
Because children are a good opportunity for us to start growing again, to pay attention to and meet our own needs, to try to be a gentle and radiant person.
In this book, she uses cognitive psychology, positive psychology, education, philosophy, etc. as theoretical foundations, and uses 9 movies to string together the proposition of "parental growth", and leads parents to start a journey of mental awakening with sincere and introspective brushstrokes.
From the starting point, the journey, the philosophy, the role, the adventure, the story, the pattern, the art, the mission of these 9 dimensions.
She tries to lead us to realize the three levels of awareness, exploration, and creation, and completes the spiral growth brought about by the path of "questioning" and "experiencing reflection" round after round.
Let's "look at ourselves outside of our own heads" and "look at our children inside our hearts".
Accept your child's imperfections
Everyone makes mistakes, so why can't we tolerate our own children? What parents need to do is to help their children learn from every mistake! This is the growth mindset......
Zhu Yongxin said in "Let Children Create Themselves":
Growing up is a process of trial and error.
A child's mind is like a young shoot, easily hurt.
If you say a wrong word or do something wrong, you will be severely criticized by your parents, and you will never dare to say or do it in the future, which will hinder your child's growth.
If a child makes a mistake, denying him will not only fail to help him improve himself, but will also cause psychological damage to him and affect his future growth.
The best way to do this is to be proactive so that things will work out for the better!
By practicing Xi "I can correct" thinking model with your child, your child will have a more and more positive attitude towards making mistakes, and form a positive way of thinking, so that they can learn Xi and gain from their mistakes.
Learn to control your emotions
There is a law about communication that all parents should know and master well, and that is the famous "55387 law".
55387，即55%+38%+7%=100%。
55% are attitudes in communication, including body language, facial expressions, dressing, etc.;
38% are the tone and tone of speech;
7% is the content of the speech.
Many parents have lost their temper, their eyes are glaring, their voices are louder, and their tones are full of reproach and impatience, and they may have pointed their fingers at the tip of their child's nose or head.
The brain makes up this image, attitude and tone, and 93 points are all lost, how can the child be obedient.
But my parents themselves are completely unaware, and they are always entangled in "What I said is right, why don't you listen"!
Emotions, whether positive or negative, will always be with us, but we need to learn to Xi accept emotions and learn Xi to understand the source of our deep emotions.
Children are a mirror of parents, and their words and deeds will imperceptibly affect children.
The People's Daily advocates:
Every parent should use the power of their life to say, "I believe in you, child!"
In this way, the child's sense of value can be ignited, and even if the road of parenting is full of thorns, he can not be afraid to move forward.
Write at the end
The birth of a child is like a key that actuates an amazing switch that we are convinced that the child needs us to be parents.
This is a "life education" about love, trust, appreciation, support and companionship.
As children grow, we need to re-examine ourselves and choose to "become a better version of ourselves" as a way to raise our eyebrows.
At the same time, it is also a "career design" about talents, knowledge, skills, interests, character and strengths.
We need to learn to respect the boundaries of life and give strong support.
Most importantly, this is what a "happy life" looks like, making life our best work.
As a father or mother, we choose not only a role and position, but also an opportunity to grow anew.
Only by letting yourself walk on the road is the most powerful expression of life.