Wang Xiaobo once said something like this:
"Marriage is the intersection of two equal souls, like a game of catch, where you have to find someone who can catch your shots. ”
Therefore, some people are obsessed with the realization of self-worth more than the marriage itself, some people enjoy a person's spiritual world and do not want to be disturbed by marriage, and some people feel that they must find someone to talk to in marriage.
These choices are all right, because in a way, when their expectations are fulfilled in married life, even if they are not so popular opinion, they have actually found their place to pitch.
Just like actor Zhou Yiwei and host Zhu Dan, the reality of their marriage proves this to a large extent.
Earlier, if Zhou Yiwei was mentioned, many people would be "disgusted", because in the description of his wife Zhu Dan, he is not a husband who loves his wife, or even an image who is good at PUA others in relationships.
Image source: Screenshot of "The Man Who Did Housework", invaded and deleted
For example, Zhu Dan once said that she had to completely obey her husband on Monday for whatever she ate every day.
For example, Zhu Dan once mentioned that her husband would completely restrict her from wearing skirts on Monday.
For example, Zhu Dan was wronged, and she lost her temper to the point of running away from home, but her husband Zhou Yiwei didn't look for her at all.
For example, Zhu Dan had no choice but to quarrel with her husband to the point of being very angry, but her husband not only realized his problem, but also said that he would give her some color when he came back.
There is also that one, which has been on the hot search several times, making netizens constantly talk about the "give steps" incident.
In the first season of "The Man Who Does Housework", Zhu Dan, as the host guest, once shared with the camera how her husband coaxed her when she was angry.
In Zhu Dan's description, she is the kind of image that is easy not to speak when she is angry, and always remains silent to her husband.
But if she doesn't speak, she won't speak, and even if her husband realizes it, he won't coax her directly, but will cold her for two hours.
Two hours later, her husband would come and hug her and talk to her as if nothing had happened.
But Zhu Dan will not easily break his silence and let this matter pass, but still remains angry.
But at this time, Zhu Dan's so-called "Mr. Zhou's high rank" appeared, and she said that her husband would tell her directly:
"I'm giving you the stairs right now, so if you don't come down now, there will be no more stairs later. ”
Image source: Screenshot of "The Man Who Did Housework", invaded and deleted
Zhu Dan told at the scene of the show, while saying that when she heard this sentence, the whole person seemed to wake up, she felt that this was a good way for her husband to deal with the problem, but both the other guests at the scene and netizens were shocked.
Because according to Zhu Dan's statement, Mr. Zhou's statement really does not reflect the slightest love, how can he grasp Zhu Dan's heart so firmly.
And there is more than one similar thing, which has to make the public's "opinion" of Zhou Yiwei worse and worse, as Zhu Dan "shows his affection" outside, the more everyone thinks that Zhu Dan is too addicted to love, and Zhou Yiwei is too good at controlling Zhu Dan's emotions.
It wasn't until they, a couple who have been married for 6 years, appeared on the variety show "Love's Study Trip" that everyone suddenly discovered that they had been deceived, Zhou Yiwei was really in love, and Zhu Dan was really loved.
The reason why the happiness of their marriage coexists with everyone's misunderstanding is "Zhu Dan's retelling".
It turned out that Zhou Zhou was at home lovingly peeling an orange and handing it to his wife, and Zhu Dan said outside that her husband even had to take care of what she ate every day.
It turned out that Monday was at home and reminded his wife that wearing a skirt was not suitable for housework, and Zhu Dan said outside that her husband would not let her wear a skirt.
It turned out that Zhou Yiwei and his wife were arguing, and his wife's so-called runaway from home was only less than 200 meters, and Zhou Yiwei, who was busy in the kitchen, could see her when he raised his eyes, so he didn't chase her out, and Zhu Dan said outside that her husband didn't look for her when she ran away from home.
It turned out that Zhou Yiwei annoyed his wife at home, and in order to make amends, he hurriedly went out to buy flowers of various colors just to make his wife happy, but what Zhu Dan said outside was that Zhou Yiwei said that he would come back and bring her some colors to see.
There is also the classic "give steps" incident, Zhou Yiwei also responded on the show, and he made it very clear, because in marriage, the wife will unconsciously continue the way her parents deal with conflicts in the Cold War.
Therefore, whenever there is a problem between two people, she likes not to speak and refuses to communicate. But in Zhou Zhouwei's view, many things can be talked about clearly and explained.
Therefore, when his wife is reluctant to communicate with him, he will think of ways to make the connection between the two people, such as chopsticks falling into the pool, etc., he will find excuses to break the silence between the two.
Image source: Screenshot of "Love's School Trip", invaded and deleted
Then after his wife responded to herself, she coaxed her to tell her that there are steps now, you come down and we can have a good chat, while patiently solving the small friction between the two people in life.
In fact, whether it is his original intention, words and deeds, he is maintaining the relationship between husband and wife, and Zhu Dan herself can feel it.
It's just that the paraphrase is too simple to make everyone ambiguous, thinking that they are an unequal marriage relationship, thinking that they are oppressive and dare not resist the relationship.
But in fact, the husband and wife are very affectionate, and the only people who are blinded are those who don't know the truth.
Knowing what happened, everyone not only apologized but also respected Zhou Zhouwei. After all, because of his wife's untrue expressions, he endured a lot of infamy, and even affected his image and work for a time.
But he didn't complain about it, and he still loved his wife as before, so everyone mistakenly thought that Zhu Dan was the person who was obsessed with bad feelings and didn't know it, but in fact, she just couldn't describe how she was cherished.
In the recently updated program, Zhou Yiwei conquered many audiences with stable emotions.
In the show, the director, who has just been married for 3 years, communicated with Zhu Dan on Monday, saying that he and his wife often quarrel over small things in life, such as crooked shoes, such as unwashed socks, etc., and the frequency of their quarrels is almost every day.
Zhou Yiwei and Zhu Dan's reactions were extremely synchronous, they were all shocked, why such a thing could make a couple to the point of quarreling.
Zhu Dan wondered if something was not done well, and it was okay for one party to do it well, why should he quarrel. And the explanation given by the director is that because his wife prefers that those things that are not done well, he will do them well.
Zhou Zhouwei's immediate reaction was "then do it", which was naturally more natural, and further said that if the other party is not satisfied, then the other party is satisfied. If something isn't done well, do everything in your life well, even if it's an afterthought.
But when he said all this lightly, everyone really felt how much Zhou Yiwei loved Zhu Dan.
It turns out that they are not free of friction in life, nor are they free of contradictions and quarrels, but they are good at solving specific problems in life.
In their concept, husband and wife are always intersecting, not separated, and they need to help each other in order to go longer and further.
Image source: Screenshot of "Love's School Trip", invaded and deleted
Therefore, feelings really need to be felt seriously, and you don't have to care too much about what other people say.
Just like He Youjun and Xi Mengyao, they have been married for 4 years, and their marriage has been sung down for 4 years, everyone thinks that Xi Mengyao has climbed high, and the marriage of a wealthy family is destined to be profit-oriented.
But when they really saw their way of getting along, everyone suddenly discovered that Xi Mengyao was really married to love, and she was the one who was 100% loved by her husband in her life.
Between them, it was He Youjun's insistence in every way that led to the positive results of later cultivation.
Just like Jin Sha and her boyfriend Sun Chengxiao, who is many years younger than her, the performance of the two of them in the show often becomes a "slot" on the Internet, everyone thinks that they are not a good match, and they feel that there are "other intentions" in this relationship.
But when others say that their own feelings still have to be felt by themselves, whether good or bad, they must be an experience that is difficult to replicate in life.
I remember reading this passage:
"You can never really get to know a person unless you walk around in their shoes and put yourself in their shoes.
But when you actually walk his way, you feel sad even passing by. Sometimes what you see is not the truth, what you know is just the tip of the iceberg floating on the water. ”
Therefore, don't talk about other people's feelings, don't care too much about other people's evaluations, feel life seriously, manage feelings seriously, and do your best yourself.