In the past few days, Sha Yi's "scandal" has been hotly searched.
In a variety show, the guests wanted to identify the synthetic characters, and Sha Yi actually recognized his wife Hu Ke as Liu Tao, and everyone exclaimed and laughed.
As soon as this clip was broadcast, it aroused heated discussions among netizens, and they also went to Hu Ke's Weibo to "sue", and some people even bluntly said that Sha Yi was "not in love".
Although Hu Ke did not respond positively, he turned his head and silently posted an old wedding photo of the two.
In the photo, the two are smiling happily, and they can't imagine that after more than 12 years of marriage, there will be "emotional crises" from time to time......
No
-mama-
01
In the past few years, the news that Sha Yi and Hu Ke's "marriage is in jeopardy" has never been broken.
As early as a year ago, in the variety show "Wife's Romantic Trip", Hu Ke collapsed and said bluntly:
"Actually, I really regret it, there are a lot of things that I can't make up for. ”
Sha Yi, who was recorded in the studio, also said that for a period of time, his wife often cried and wanted to go back to her parents' house, and she was in a particularly bad mood.
In the show, Hu Ke and Sha Yi do seem to be "not as sweet" as others.
When the five wives got together to eat and chat, recalling the scene of the original proposal, almost everyone, whether it was the wife or the husband, had a happy look on their faces.
Only Hu Ke said: "I haven't experienced the feeling of proposing marriage at all." ”
Every wife at the scene was gently asked by her husband: "Honey, would you like to marry me?"
Only Sha Yi once said on the phone: "Why don't we get married." ”
When Gina said, "It's hard to forget a man who has taken such care to prepare something for you." ",
Hu Ke's loss and sadness were clearly on his face.
Some people may think that this is hypocrisy, and some people think that formalism is not advisable, but I always believe that no matter how tired we are physically and mentally, we must maintain a romantic feeling, and formalism, although not very good, is much better than being too lazy to go through the motions.
In the final analysis, a man who is willing to spend his heart for you may not love you, but a man who is not willing to spend his heart for you must not love you.
I read a sentence: "Life needs a sense of ritual, it will allow you to find a poetic life, find a glimmer of light to move on, and find the courage to not compromise in ordinary and trivial days." ”
The ritual sense of marriage proposal can make the relationship calm down in the future, and I will still be moved by him when I think of that moment.
Later, Hu Ke also reflected on herself, whether part of the reason why Sha Yi used that bad way of proposing marriage came from herself:
"I'm a very non-expressive person, and I rarely say anything like I love you to him. ”
"But he would often say I love you, and he would compliment me on being beautiful or something, so I wondered if he couldn't feel my thoughts, so he didn't have a bottom. ”
Two people who obviously love each other, but because they are ashamed to say what they say, it has become a lifelong regret for both parties.
No
-mama-
02
How important are ceremonies in marriage?
Huang Lei mentioned a friend of his in "Wonderful Sayings", and the friend invited him to attend his daughter's wedding, and at the wedding, the friend shed tears sadly:
"It is said that my daughter is my father's little padded jacket, but I didn't expect it to be hung in someone else's closet so soon. ”
Huang Lei, the father of two baby daughters, also felt the feeling and cried, he said on the show:
"I often fantasize about this image. But if one day, the man tells my daughter that there is no wedding.
I would tell my daughter, don't marry him. I don't even have a sense of ritual like that, I don't think it's right. ”
The wedding that most girls want is actually a sense of ceremony.
I hope that every day in the future, the promise you make when you kneel on one knee, the wedding photo at the bedside, the ring on your ring finger, these exclusive sense of ritual can always remind us that even if we occasionally quarrel over trivial matters in life, we should not forget the moment when we fell in love.
The sense of ritual can allow two people who love each other to tolerate and compromise with each other in the face of small grievances and small contradictions, and perceive the background behind the emotion, which is still love and tolerance.
No
-mama-
03
The reason why many people's lives are dull and boring is actually because they lack a sense of ritual.
In the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's", Hepburn likes to dress up elegantly and exquisitely, wearing a black dress, and eating breakfast gently and calmly in front of Tiffany's window.
She makes every ordinary morning sparkle.
Lin Huiyin, a talented woman in the Republic of China, every time she writes poems at night, she will bathe in incense, a cup of tea, a piano, and a thread-bound book.
It is this simple and unique sense of ritual that has influenced her children, who still maintain their yearning for a better life even when they grow up under difficult conditions.
Haruki Murakami said: If there is no such small luck, life is just a dry desert.
The purpose of ritual is to make yourself feel like you're living.
Maybe you don't know how to be funny and don't understand the amorous style, but you must know that what will make you happier, what will make your lover more moved, and what will make life more interesting, this is the meaning of the existence of the sense of ritual.
Organize old photos from the past and get together with friends to talk about the latest news;
Choose a laid-back weekend and wake up early to make breakfast for your loved one;
Try to save money to give yourself a gift that you really want, but have been reluctant to buy;
Take your parents on a trip and go to a movie with them;
Set yourself an achievable flag every day...
There are many ways to be happy, and making life full of ritual is one of them, and only by understanding the true meaning of ritual can we begin to enjoy life instead of being tired of survival.
No
-mama-
04
Some time ago, I saw a passage and I didn't feel like crying:
The moment of a loved one's departure usually doesn't make people feel sad, but what really makes you feel sad is:
The half carton of milk that opened the refrigerator, the green basket swaying in the wind on the windowsill, the duvet that folded quietly on the bed, and the noise of the washing machine in the middle of the night.
Many times, we don't realize how important it is to have someone who is there for you at all times.
We are Xi taking the givings of our loved ones for granted, until at some moment, in that special scene, or in some kind of ritualistic environment, each of us will become soft again.
A sense of ritual is what makes a certain moment of the day different from others.
Maybe in the end you will find out:
The sense of ritual is not to work hard to make a formality, but to do every little thing seriously, which is to respect and cherish marriage, family and life.