Author: Zhao Caimeo
Editor: Zhiyu
Xiao Yaxuan is back.
Recently, Xiao Yaxuan released a new single "Love is Blameless" to return to the music scene.
In order to match the new song, she also specially filmed a MV full of high-end sense.
Not only that, Xiao Yaxuan also covered the previous songs again in Hunan Satellite TV's "Double Eleven Gala".
When the music sounded, Xiao Yaxuan stood on the stage again, and the familiar wind blew into the hearts of the audience again.
However, the audience found that Xiao Yaxuan's physical fitness seemed to be inferior to before.
Perhaps due to her poor health and foot injury, her performance on stage was not so "unrestrained", although she could still show some light stage movements, she still looked a little dragged.
In fact, her physical problems had already appeared before.
Some time ago, in one of her live broadcasts, you could see her haggard demeanor and lifeless eyes, and the whole person looked like a doll, with weak energy.
After watching it, many netizens were distressed and encouraged her to cheer up as soon as possible.
From the queen of the stage to an ordinary person with dull eyes in the live broadcast room, what has Xiao Yaxuan experienced?
01
When it comes to Xiao Yaxuan, she always can't avoid her childhood experience of lack of love.
When Xiao Yaxuan was 5 years old, his father abandoned the three of them, mother and son, and there was no news after they went abroad.
In order to earn money to support the family, the mother had to foster her two children at her grandmother's house.
Xiao Yaxuan and his younger brother were brought up by their grandmother.
Xiao Yaxuan's grandmother is not as kind as other grandmothers, and is more strict with Xiao Yaxuan and his younger brother.
But Xiao Yaxuan's temperament since he was a child has been lively and active, going to the house to uncover tiles, walking cats and teasing dogs, he is really good at everything.
In order to make her granddaughter more like a "girl", her grandmother enrolled her in various interest classes to prevent her from playing outside like boys.
Xiao Yaxuan didn't dare to disobey her grandmother, and agreed to learn Xi instrument, but she took a fancy to the percussion instrument at a glance, just like the character in her bones, enthusiastic and unrestrained.
But such a non-"quiet" instrument was rejected by my grandmother, who traditionally believed that girls should learn elegant piano and violin.
Xiao Yaxuan had to compromise again and choose a piano he didn't like.
Every time she takes piano lessons, it is a kind of torture for Xiao Yaxuan, and the notes that pop up in her hands are always out of tune, but the teacher forces her to not let go of school if she doesn't play well.
Over time, Xiao Yaxuan accumulated a lot of grievances in her heart, and she just wanted to escape from her grandmother's house, but when she was found again, what was waiting for her was not a long-lost embrace, but a punishment of scolding and whipping.
Xiao Yaxuan, who has accumulated a stomach full of grievances, misses his mother even more, and looks forward to his mother taking him back every day.
But her mother was far away from home, fighting desperately in the "business sea", and she had no time to take care of her and her younger brother.
The two gifts that every child deserves in childhood – a sense of belonging and the importance of affirming oneself – are not received by her in her case.
The trauma of her childhood has kept her in the shadow of inferiority, Xi to giving and contributing to others, and Xi to wrapping herself in "strong" armor.
As a result, she feels that she is "extremely confident and extremely unconfident".
When she was 17 years old, her mother sent her to the John Casablanca School of Art in Vancouver to study fashion design Xi.
Xiao Yaxuan was finally free, and her lively nature that had been suppressed for many years could finally be released, and she also took this opportunity to stay away from the home that did not have much "temperature".
02
Xiao Yaxuan's days of studying abroad alone were very difficult, and the unfamiliar environment and unfamiliar language made it difficult for her to move an inch for a long time.
Thankfully, she found a spiritual companion – singing and dancing. Over time, the idea of becoming a singer grew wildly in her heart.
At this moment, an opportunity came to her.
In 1998, 19-year-old Xiao Yaxuan, encouraged by his friends, wanted to participate in the Chinese rookie singing contest held by Hong Kong TVB and enter the entertainment industry.
But in her mother's opinion, this is a very unsafe path, and she firmly opposes her daughter's decision.
"You can learn to draw hard Xi you can see that your eyes are not big enough, and you are not tall enough, how can you have a star appearance, it is better to learn Xi honestly......"
Mother's words were like thorns, piercing Xiao Yaxuan's heart fiercely.
However, Xiao Yaxuan, who was in a rebellious period at this time, no longer wanted to follow the path arranged by his mother.
If your eyes aren't big enough, you put on makeup, and if you're not tall enough, you wear hate.
The young and vigorous Xiao Yaxuan just wants to prove to his mother that he can also do it through his own efforts.
Sure enough, in the Chinese rookie singing competition, Xiao Yaxuan relied on his good singing skills, flexible stage movements, and generous and confident aura, and was charming on the stage, attracting the attention of countless people.
Among them is star music producer Yao Qian.
After her mother found out, not only was she not happy about her achievements, but she was even more furious, not wanting her daughter to go to the "troubled waters" of the entertainment industry, and directly cut off her living expenses over there.
But Xiao Yaxuan was very stubborn and didn't want to bow to his mother. In the end, it was the music producer who took Xiao Yaxuan in the picture to persuade his mother.
"Your daughter is a piece of jade, and when it is carved to give off her original radiance......"
Since then, Xiao Yaxuan has started her music career.
In 1999, 20-year-old Xiao Yaxuan launched his first album, but he did not expect it to be an instant hit, and the album sales exceeded 500,000 copies, becoming the best-selling record in Taiwan at that time.
Her slightly youthful and lively singing and dancing style has attracted many people.
Later, she released several albums one after another, and they exploded as soon as they were released. Gradually, she also sat firmly on the throne of the little diva of the Chinese music scene.
Engaged in the career he loved, and achieved great success in his career, Xiao Yaxuan was extremely satisfied with his current situation at this time.
But there must be dark wounds under the strong light, many people only saw her on the stage for ten minutes, but they didn't see her ten years of work off the stage.
03
Xiao Yaxuan, who was only 20 years old at this time, was undoubtedly successful.
Later, she took advantage of the victory and pursued, and successively launched Chinese songs such as "Red Rose" and "The Main Song of Love", and as expected, all of them were deeply loved by netizens.
Xiao Yaxuan thought that she was so successful now that she would definitely be able to get her mother's approval, but her mother's words poured cold water on her again.
"Don't feel like you're doing well, standing still is a step backwards. ”
These vague "hints" are like an invisible whip, spurring Xiao Yaxuan not to relax and continue to rush forward.
In order to meet the expectations that everyone placed on him, Xiao Yaxuan worked harder and worked harder.
Therefore, frequent concerts have become her norm, and it is even more common for her to practice singing and dancing in private.
Under the working intensity of continuous rotation, the ensuing pressure is like a piece of plastic foam, which grows rapidly in the process of being pressed again and again, until the volume of the foam is too large to be pressed anymore, and it will float naked on the water.
Xiao Yaxuan couldn't hold on after all and wanted to escape from this circle.
In 2004, Xiao Yaxuan's contract with the record company expired, and she felt that a boulder in her heart could finally land. When the record company asked her to renew her contract, she decisively refused, although her mother also advised her not to leave.
But this time, she was tired and didn't want to live to meet anyone's expectations.
After the contract expired, she was still a hot singer at the time, but for freedom, she withdrew and went abroad.
However, the following year, Xiao Yaxuan returned to the public eye again, but when she returned again, she found that Taiwan's "singing circle" had changed.
To this end, she worked hard to prepare her return work.
In 2006, she released a new album "1087". This is a sign that she is back after 1,087 days away from the music scene.
In this work, she poured all her feelings and energy into creating a unique boutique and regaining the popularity of her career.
thought that Xiao Yaxuan would be able to make a gorgeous and perfect turn with this work, but an accident happened.
It was precisely because of this accident that Xiao Yaxuan's career, which had just risen, fell into a trough again.
During a stage shoot, she unfortunately fell and suffered a severe sprain in her left leg and was sent directly to the hospital for treatment.
On the hospital bed, she burst into tears, and kept muttering:
"I let everyone down, I let everyone down......"
Because of this injury, she left a leg disease, which made it difficult for her to stand on the stage in the future, and even if she could stand on the stage, her legs were weak.
Therefore, in the concert mentioned at the beginning, her hands and feet are not so "flexible".
So much so that Xiao Yaxuan, who was frustrated in his career, wanted to seek a sense of security emotionally.
04
There is such a saying in the entertainment industry:
"No one can be young forever, but Xiao Yaxuan's boyfriend can. ”
It has been 24 years since her debut, and there are 16 public boyfriends alone, most of whom are "little fresh meat" between the ages of 20 and 25.
Xiao Yaxuan frequently changes boyfriends, and they are all handsome, which arouses the envy of many girls.
However, looking at what she did, you can see that she is not as "chic" emotionally as everyone thinks.
Xiao Yaxuan's first love was in 1998, and at the age of 19, she met Zhu Fangang, who also likes music.
Two young people who both love music quickly fall in love after frequent contact.
But soon after, the two parted ways because of their careers.
At a certain event, Xiao Yaxuan and actor Long Chenhan looked at each other.
At that time, Xiao Yaxuan was already a smash hit singer, and Long Chenhan was just a little-known actor, but Xiao Yaxuan didn't care at all.
didn't think about it, Long Chenhan had no ability, and turned his head to split his legs with Xiao Yaxuan and Xiao Yaxuan's friends behind his back, Xiao Yaxuan, who couldn't bear it, immediately cut through the mess and ended this bad relationship.
In 2003, Xiao Yaxuan met Tian Peien, a member of the Taiwanese men's group, through the introduction of a friend.
Some media also photographed the affectionate scene of them eating together, but it didn't take long for Tian Peien to be rumored to be "dishonest" again, and Xiao Yaxuan proposed to break up in a fit of anger.
Xiao Yaxuan met Wang Yangming again at an event, and under Xiao Yaxuan's active pursuit, Wang Yangming fell, and the two began to date.
At that time, Xiao Yaxuan did not hesitate to give up her popular career for Wang Yangming, and went abroad to study with her boyfriend.
However, in the end, the two ended up breaking up
After that, Xiao Yaxuan's feelings were all together, and finally broke up.
The most recent predecessor is Xiao Yaxuan's 16-year-old Huang Hao.
Treating this relationship, Xiao Yaxuan is really dedicated.
not only admitted that Huang Hao was his boyfriend in public, Xiao Yaxuan also took him to variety shows, and even signed him to his studio and asked his friend Coco Li to help him.
In order to train him, I personally sent him to music lessons and dance classes, etc., and supervised his training.
Xiao Yaxuan is like an old mother, she does everything for her little boyfriend, and even says that she is "her mother's girlfriend".
However, not only did she not get her boyfriend's gratitude, but she was also accused by her boyfriend:
"The desire to control is too strong......"
A fluttering sentence instantly turned her years of dedication to her feelings into foam.
Soon after, Huang Hao also left her and went to a foreign country to marry another girl.
Xiao Yaxuan inevitably fell into the fate of being broken up again after every high-profile show of love.
When Xiao Yaxuan, whose eyes are scattered, his expression is tired, and his limbs are stiff, he reappears on the camera, and he has long since lost his former demeanor, we should know that excessive love brings her more pain and sorrow than happiness.
Therefore, Xiao Yaxuan, known as the "little fresh meat harvester", is not as happy as we imagined.
She is like a moth to a fire, constantly in love, and constantly hurting, in the pain of the heart, confirm her own importance, but again and again disappointed.
05
Whether in love or family affection, Xiao Yaxuan must not die well.
Shortly after her mother's death, her friend Coco Lee also left her.
She is like a kite with a broken string, tossed by the wind in the sky.
After her mother's death, she knelt in the mourning hall for a long time, and after Coco Li died, she listened to the voice that Coco Li sent to her again and again, and it was difficult to let go.
However, the departed are no longer there, and the living still need to live well.
After all, life is a process of constant loss.
I hope Xiao Yaxuan can understand that the sense of security she has longed for for many years actually comes from herself in the end.
——END——