The more parents yell at their children, the more disobedient they are, 5 steps to walk is much more effective than yelling, parents may wish to give it a try

Text/Ting's mother

In the process of parenting, we often encounter situations where children are disobedient and mischievous.

Some parents choose to use yelling to correct their children's behavior, but this method often has little effect or even backfires, making the child more rebellious.

This is because yelling tends to provoke a child's feelings of rebellion rather than understanding and accepting our instructions.

So, is there a more effective way to guide children?

Here are five steps that are much more effective than simple yelling, so parents may want to give them a try.

Step 1: Stay calm

First of all, we need to stay calm.

When a child behaves unwanted, our first reaction may be anger and disappointment.

If we yell at our children at this time, then we may miss the opportunity to teach them proper behavior.

Therefore, we need to try to stay calm at all times so that we can approach the problem with reason and patience.

For example, if a child is fighting at the dinner table, we can choose to leave the table for a while and wait for ourselves to calm down before going back to deal with the problem.

In this way, we can avoid meaningless yelling at the child in an emotional state.

Step 2: Set clear rules

Second, we need to set clear rules.

Children need to know what to do and what not to do. These rules should be clear, simple, and easy to understand.

At the same time, we need to let our children understand what the consequences will be if they break these rules.

For example, we can tell our children, "If you fight at the dinner table, then you can't eat." ”

Such rules are simple and clear, and easy for children to understand.

Step 3: Communicate effectively with your child

Third, we need to communicate effectively with our children.

We need to explain why a certain behavior is wrong and how we want them to correct it.

At the same time, we need to listen to our children's perspectives and feelings, so that they know that their voices are heard.

For example, we can say, "I know you may be bored or angry, but it's not right to make a fuss." You can tell me how you feel, and together we can figure out how to solve the problem. ”

This way of communication can make children feel understood and respected, so they will be more receptive to our suggestions.

Step 4: Provide appropriate guidance

The fourth step is to provide appropriate guidance.

We need to teach children how to act right, not just tell them "don't do something".

We can help them learn new skills and behaviors by modeling, mentoring, or providing resources.

For example, if a child does not know how to behave appropriately at the dinner table, we can teach them how to use utensils, how to eat quietly, and so on.

With such guidance, children can not only learn the right behavior, but also enhance their self-management skills.

Step 5: Give positive feedback

The final step is to give positive feedback.

When children do well, we need to praise them in time. This boosts their self-confidence and also encourages them to continue to behave well.

At the same time, we also need to pay attention to the manner and content of the praise to ensure that it is specific, sincere and appropriate.

For example, if the child is able to finish eating quietly, we can say, "I am very happy that you were really quiet when you ate today." ”

Such praise is both specific and sincere, and can be an effective motivator for children to continue to behave well.

Overall, instead of simply yelling at your child, take the five steps above to guide them.

These five steps will not only help children understand and accept our instructions, but they will also help them build good behavioural habits and self-management skills.

Of course, every child is unique, so we may need to adapt these steps on a case-by-case basis.

But in any case, we should remember that as parents, our goal is not only to make children obedient, but more importantly, to help them grow into responsible and capable problem solvers.

(Image source: Internet)

I am @婷momalan, a nationally certified nursery teacher, family education lecturer, committed to sharing parenting experience in small stories, welcome to follow me, and accompany children to grow up together.