A 24-year-old girl is taking the exam, should she marry a blind date man?

Text | Mi Li's mother

Mi Li's mother found a strange thing, the topic of full-time postgraduate entrance examination seems to have become a "menstrual sticker", and it has to be searched every once in a while.

Not long ago, an article titled "21 to 26 years old, she was trapped in the graduate school entrance examination for 5 years" became popular, and the topic of full-time examination and editing for the graduate school entrance examination once again aroused widespread discussion:

Is it worth it for a girl to spend 5 years taking the graduate school entrance examination and editing exam, but in the end she has achieved nothing?

The heroine's name is Liu Tong, and since graduating from college, she has experienced four failed graduate school entrance examinations and five failed examinations.

Liu Tong was born in a small town in the fifth and sixth tiers of the northwest, and her grades have never belonged to the top-notch kind, and the college entrance examination score just passed the first line, and she went to the petroleum engineering department of a university in the province.

But not long after entering the school, she found out that this is a sinkhole major, and the employment channels are simply too narrow.

So, Liu Tong decided to go to graduate school, but she didn't dare to deviate too far from her undergraduate major, so she still chose an engineering major that crossed over with petroleum.

The first time he passed the national line, but he failed to enter the interview, Liu Tong felt that he was too late, so he began to prepare for World War II;

The second time she entered the retest, it was also the closest she was to "going ashore", but unfortunately encountered the epidemic, the interview was changed to an online format that she had never envisioned, and because of the lack of outstanding advantages in the initial test scores, she was finally brushed down;

For the third postgraduate entrance examination, the number of applicants soared by 360,000 this year, but the admission ratio was declining, but what was even more unexpected was that this time Liu Tong's English did not even pass the national line;

The fourth postgraduate entrance examination, with a three-year empty resume, Liu Tong's pressure reached an unprecedented level, and it was also when the epidemic lockdown was extremely strict, the exam time was constantly postponed, and she finally received the exam arrangement at 6 o'clock in the morning after waiting all night, but in the end, because of the omissions such as the admission ticket, she failed to get a good result.

Seeing that the classmates around her have either improved in their careers or have graduated with a master's degree, she finally turned her attention to the examination editor.

Although the difficulty of compiling the content of the exam is less than that of the postgraduate entrance examination, because of Liu Tong's Tiankeng major, she can only roll those "three unlimited" majors, saying that it is one out of a thousand, one out of ten thousand, it is not an exaggeration at all, and it is predictable that there will be more luck and less luck.

Later, Liu Tong finally temporarily walked out of the obsession of the graduate school entrance examination and found a job of several thousand yuan, but no one knows whether she will continue to swim back to find a piece of "shore".

In the eyes of many people, Liu Tong has spent the past five years in vain, she has invested a lot, but unfortunately she has gained nothing except the past of failure and illness.

From the age of 21 to 26, she lived almost the same day, and every day she opened her eyes to brush questions, brush questions, brush questions, and even dare to rest for two or three days during the New Year.

In the midst of successive failures, she also suffered from severe insomnia and depression.

Such a result really made Mi Li's mother very embarrassed. Can you say she's not trying hard enough? I can't bear to say that.

But sometimes, the momentum of not hitting the south wall and not looking back is not necessarily a good thing, and some things, believing in God rewards hard work, it is better to believe that "choice is greater than effort".

Indeed, in the past few years, it has been really unfriendly to the students who are taking the postgraduate entrance examination, especially during the epidemic, which is simply turning on the "hell mode".

Mi Li's father and I have both been admitted to graduate school before, but we both got offers and didn't go to Mi Li's dad for the full undergraduate award, and we didn't apply for a scholarship for graduate school, so we had to give up the offer from Duke University. As for me, I didn't apply to my favorite school when I graduated from undergraduate, so I went straight to work, and the journey was smooth. But you know that I have a prestigious school complex, and I applied to Stanford last year with itchy hands, but I didn't expect to be accepted.

But this time is different from the past, in such an environment, it is unbearable to criticize a girl who has repeatedly failed, not to mention, everyone's value pursuit, family conditions are different, in the final analysis, no matter how many years it takes to chase the dream, this is a personal choice.

But Mi Li's mother wants to remind you that although success is inseparable from hard work, it is by no means only based on tactical efforts, but also requires strategic thinking.

It's a pity that in Liu Tong, apart from being lonely and brave, I didn't see anything more important for "going ashore".

First, she lacks a clear assessment and awareness of herself.

Because her uncle and cousin were exceptionally successful academically, she also had an enigmatic obsession with prestigious schools.

Although her grades have never been outstanding, she is extremely confident in the graduate school entrance examination, and to put it bluntly, she is a little ambitious.

For example, after the defeat in World War I, Liu Tong's alma mater said that she could transfer back to her university for graduate school, although her parents were very satisfied with this, but she looked down on her alma mater and thought that it would not help her academic background.

Not only that, but her goal is getting higher and higher, at the beginning of a Southern 211 university, during the third war, although the admission ratio dropped again, she applied for a more difficult 985 university.

However, her strength failed to match her ambition, which is also a strange point for Mi Li's mother, because she has already fought three battles, and her English has not even passed the national line.

You say she didn't work hard, but she was nailed to her desk and studied for more than ten hours a day; You said she worked hard, but she was still capsizing in the gutter in the third battle.

Seriously, it's not so difficult to cross the national line in English, as long as you memorize what you should memorize, brush the roll that you should brush, and read the past questions, it is really a basic operation to cross the line.

Moreover, since she has the intention of taking the exam, she should jump out of her undergraduate major and study a master's degree in liberal arts that is conducive to the exam, but Xiao Liu is still spinning in engineering, resulting in her being able to live and die in the "three unlimited" positions later.

In my opinion, this has nothing to do with IQ or hard work, after all, the ceiling of everyone's ability is uneven, and in some aspects, it may be difficult to make a qualitative leap no matter how hard you work.

Not to mention, sometimes it's a little bit of luck when it comes to exams.

For children like Liu Tong, who are generally gifted and do not have a clear longboard, instead of being ambitious and only staring at famous schools that cannot be reached, it is better to be down-to-earth, think about the future development path, and plan a path that suits him, which is really much more important than doing it hard.

Maybe she believes in "God rewards hard work", thinking that she can achieve the ideal results by squeezing time and overdrawing physical strength through "walking", but she ignores that the harder she works on the inappropriate road, the more she goes astray.

Of course, not all full-time examiners are like Xiao Liu, and there are many people who go on blind dates while examining, and they grasp both career and marriage.

So recently, a new type of work has appeared on the blind date field, called "being examined".

In fact, in my opinion, this is just a more fresh and refined statement, as soon as I say "I am taking the exam", I immediately establish an image of self-motivated, hard-working, and diligent, and I can expect a promising young man in the future.

But in the final analysis, it's just unemployed at home and gnawing at the old for a living. It's nothing to decorate yourself like this when you go on a blind date, after all, everyone understands it, but the bad thing is that some people really make this "job" a sense of superiority and substitution.

There is a hot post on Zhihu about such a thing:

To put it bluntly, she is an unemployed young woman in the county who graduated from a junior college, has an ordinary family background, and failed the exam, and she looks down on the male blind date who runs a hotel at home and earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and clearly dislikes him for being "unprepared".

What's even more uncomfortable is that the man's younger brother is unemployed like her, but she calls him an "unemployed vagrant".

There are many people like Mi Li's mother, "old man, subway, mobile phone", all of whom are bombarding girls for not being self-aware, thinking that "being examined" is equivalent to being compiled, and the compilation has not yet been obtained, and the condescending sense of superiority is the first to come up, and it is really an illusion to take the exam.

There are also hallucinations in the graduate school entrance examination, such as writing 2023-2025 Southern Post Undergraduate directly on the resume... Don't ask, asking means that you are taking the exam = you have been admitted.

There is another heavyweight, who has not been admitted to the graduate school entrance examination for three years, but he advertises everywhere that he "has the theoretical level of a graduate student"...

Mi Li's mother really didn't think that she would be able to hallucinate in exams and find a job, and if she continued like this, she was really worried that they would be diagnosed with Fan Jin or Ah Q.

More and more, I feel that the full-time graduate school entrance examination seems to have become a dream of a group of people, the harder they work and the more persistent they are, the deeper this dream is, the stronger the belief, and the more difficult it is to wake up from it.

Just like these people who have already learned the illusion of going ashore, it is undoubtedly cruel to break through the dream and return to reality.

Although after the age limit is gradually relaxed, everyone has more opportunities to pursue their dreams, which is also a kind of luck for people who have no background and resources.

However, chasing dreams is not the same as dreaming, ideals are not equal to dreams, and if you want to achieve your goals, the most undesirable thing is to blindly follow the herd, bury your head and rush forward, only thinking about going ashore, but you can't figure out which embankment really belongs to you.

Mi Li's mother can't help but think of those "college entrance examination nail households", maybe some people are indeed sticking to their ideals, but it is difficult to say whether anyone has taken the exam as a haven to escape employment and independence.

On the one hand, studying for exams is what they are best at and most familiar with, so much so that a huge inertia has formed, so full-time preparation is the best comfort zone before there is a clear and achievable goal.

On the other hand, they watch their classmates get on the right track one by one, but they have achieved nothing, so it is even more difficult to give up the time and energy they have invested before, and they must take the exam to prove that they have made a good choice.

Just like the older young people who are hard to find a partner, I have been holding on for so long, how can I slap myself in the face?

But in my opinion, such ideas are immature and unresponsible.

Not to mention anything else, it is an irresponsible behavior to say that endlessly gnawing at home to prepare for the exam.

The premise of chasing dreams is to be self-reliant first and achieve the goal step by step by yourself, rather than relying on overdrawing your relatives and shirking the responsibilities that should be borne by yourself.

More importantly, there are countless ups and downs in business that people can't imagine, and the road ahead may be bleak, success may be successful, and there may be countless criticisms and doubts.

If you are afraid to move forward because of all kinds of uncertainties, or even huddle at home, and transfer the risk to your parents, then such a person can never be called mature in the true sense, and it is difficult for them to exercise the ability to resist fate.

At the end of the story, Xiao Liu, who has graduated for four years, finally puffs up and moves out of his parents' house, finds the first full-time job in his life, and prepares for the next exam.

It was also after going out that she discovered that the classmates she once admired so much, even if they had been admitted to graduate school and entered the system, there were still all kinds of difficulties and unsatisfactory.

In fact, Mi Li's mother thinks that maybe the so-called "going ashore" is just a false proposition for some people.

In the sea of life, no matter how glamorous the job is and how shiny the education is, it can't give you a promise once and for all, and any small change may cause the piece of dirt under their feet to disintegrate in an instant and fall into the water.

Others, who may have never "gone ashore", have a clear mind, a clear judgment, and a strong heart that shields the voices of the outside world, so no matter where they are or what the situation is, they have a firm and optimistic attitude, and have the courage to say goodbye to the past and start a new challenge.

Such a person has actually been standing on the shore all the time.

Personal Profile: @米粒妈爱分享 Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning, educational experience and further education.