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When it comes to love, people often get caught up wondering, "Does he really love me?" However, in an age when freedom is no longer so pure, the truth of love may become obscure. Some people are full of expectations, but they encounter partners who are not willing to be lonely or choose to be together out of desire. Therefore, for women, discerning the true heart becomes crucial. You can't blindly treat the wrong person as true love, lest you get hurt in the wrong person, feel hopeless and hopeless. So, how to judge a man's sincerity?
People are good at disguise, covering up their own nature, and deliberately packaging themselves. But the words they express often reveal their inner world, values, and character. One reader shared her experience of meeting a man through a blind date app. After the WeChat exchange in January, the two met and had dinner together, feeling in tune with each other. However, when she refused to proceed rashly, the man's behavior made her wonder if he had other intentions. The woman accepted the man's travel invitation, and then the two maintained WeChat contact, and the relationship warmed up steadily. However, when she noticed that the man had updated his photo on the blind date app, she began to doubt his loyalty. She tried to talk to him, but he replied sparsely, stopped answering the phone and avoided answering questions directly. In the end, the man explained that he was "still adapting".
This story highlights the psychology of the sexes that has been on the radar: the relationship between short-term strategies and long-term strategies. The woman is looking for a long-term relationship because she uses a long-term strategy. The man is looking for a short-term relationship. No matter how whitewashed, the truth is that the man does not care about the relationship because he does not see it as a long-term relationship. This is not a question of "you don't look for him, he doesn't look for you", but the man simply does not want to look for it. In fact, he made it clear that he was "still adapting", which is clear enough. So, how to distinguish between long-term and short-term relationships?
Time is the simplest indicator. Having a relationship for a short period of time and immediately following it is a short-term relationship. In contrast, long-term relationships are built during relationship development and involve a series of steps and intersections of mutual social circles. One of the biggest misunderstandings in relationships is the failure to make this clear. Therefore, it is crucial to learn to distinguish between long-term and short-term relationships. Once you understand that the other person is not a reliable partner, it is best to get rid of the old relationship and start over.
The phrase "I am for your own good" gradually permeates the relationship. While the intentions may be good, this sentence can be suffocating. This sentence begs the question: How can you tell if the other person genuinely wants you to be better, and not just want to change you into what they like? Some readers shared her story, she confessed to her ex-boyfriend on impulse, the other party claimed to like her, and the two began dating. But in a short period of time, she found that many opinions were made of her, suggesting that she wear makeup, change her personality, and improve her writing. Initially, she thought the other party was for her good, but as the relationship deteriorated, she began to wonder if the other person just wanted her to be what he wanted. In love, change is inevitable, but the key lies in the purpose of that change.
Figuring out the nature of the relationship is a prerequisite for identifying whether the other person's demands make us better or make us what they want us to be. If the relationship is one of cooperating and advising each other, then the other person's request is done in good faith. The core of identification is to judge whether the relationship is based on mutual growth, rather than control and control. If confused, you can be judged by a criterion: Does the change make you better and more comfortable, or do you become easier to control? In some cases, improving your writing skills, even if it seems less important in modern society, can make you a better version of yourself. Another example is learning to wear makeup, a skill that is still useful even after a breakup. However, if the other person does not allow you to associate with friends, this will turn you into a person who has lost yourself. This change is very different from the aforementioned learning to wear makeup. In short, the key is the outcome of the change: whether it makes you better or worse; Does it get you out of your comfort zone, or become more comfortable.
Liking someone usually means that the person is able to give you positive emotional stimulation and bring joy and happiness. Therefore, whether it is in love or marriage, the criterion for evaluating whether you like or are suitable includes your own emotions. One reader broke up and wondered if they had ever really been together. They met through a blind date platform and dated for more than four months. In the third month of the relationship, the man took her to meet her parents. The man's family conditions are far superior to hers, which triggers her inferiority complex. At first, the man maintained frequent contact, would see her once a week, and she gradually liked him. She feels happy in front of people she likes. However, later the man quit his job and faced many problems, time became limited, communication was reduced to once every half month, and WeChat conversations did not exceed ten sentences. The relationship becomes estranged, causing the woman to question whether the man really likes her. The dispute between the two eventually led to a breakup, but the woman could not get rid of the sadness.
This story teaches us that the key is our emotional state. Feelings of inferiority can give us the wrong view of relationships. Affective states influence the way we approach emotional problems. Therefore, it is very important to empty the mind and reverse the belief system. Only when you change your emotional state can you embark on the path of love.
In the beginning, the path can be lonely and arduous. But only with positive change can we move towards a happy future. So, don't focus on identification, but on the self-improvement behind it. Only when changes are made can we usher in true love.
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