In "Dream of Red Mansions", a well-known classical masterpiece, the relationship between Jia Lian and Wang Xifeng has always been a topic of conversation. Especially in that scene, Jia Lian wanted to "change the look" in the life of the couple, but Wang Xifeng didn't seem very cooperative. What kind of thoughts and social norms are hidden behind this? Why is Wang Xifeng, who is usually strong and capable, so conservative on this private issue?
Speaking of Wang Xifeng in "Dream of Red Mansions", she is really a character with a complex personality. In the eyes of outsiders, she is the kind of super strong woman who can not only manage the big mansion, but also skillfully handle various family affairs. But in front of her husband Jia Lian, she often shows the side of a bird, especially in married life, her tradition and reserve make her quite resistant to novelty.
In fact, this contradictory performance is not unrelated to the education she received since she was a child and the social atmosphere at that time. Although Wang Xifeng is smart and clever, she also lived in the Qing Dynasty, where feudal etiquette was extremely strict, and women's education from childhood to adulthood was almost completely different from the shaping of men's identity and status. They are taught to keep women's morals and take care of the family, and they rarely dabble in the little things between husband and wife, unless it is on the night of marriage, they can hear some fur from the old mother.
And what about Jia Lian? This young master of Jiafu is naturally not a fuel-efficient lamp. It is said that he is very amorous outside, and often messes with flowers and grass. And this time, he suddenly proposed to "change the look" in his married life, probably due to the influence of some Fengyue places in the outside world. Think about it, a big man, who often goes out to socialize and is well-informed, suddenly brings home some fresh tricks and tries to spread them between the beds, which is naturally difficult for a traditional woman to accept.
No, when Wang Xifeng heard this, he may be both shy and a little angry in his heart. Jia Lian: Is this a new trick that he learned outside? Did he learn something new from a woman? This is not only an insurmountable psychological obstacle for Wang Xifeng, but also an impact on her identity as a woman.
What's even more interesting is that Jia Lian clearly knew Wang Xifeng's character and bottom line, but he deliberately made such a request. Do you feel that Wang Xifeng's reaction is being used in this way, or is trying to find some new stimulation in the couple's life? I'm afraid only he knows the mental game in his own heart.
On the other hand, Wang Xifeng's reaction is also very meaningful. She didn't get angry directly, nor did she turn her face with Jia Lian about it, but expressed her dissatisfaction and rejection in a sneering way. This treatment not only preserves the harmony between husband and wife, but also gives Jia Lian a clear signal: she does not welcome this so-called "new trick".
This kind of married life actually reflects some of the ways in which husbands and wives got along with each other in that era. Although there is love, it is more about the maintenance of responsibilities and obligations. As the housekeeper of Jiafu, Wang Xifeng has been exhausted in handling the affairs of the family, and now even the most private space has to face all kinds of tests from her husband, which is undoubtedly a double pressure on her.
So is Wang Xifeng's reserve just because of her education and growth environment? Apparently not exactly. At a deeper level, it may be her distrust and dissatisfaction with Jia Lian's behavior. Jia Lian's flower heart is no secret to her. Now Jia Lian's various novel requirements in the life of husband and wife, in Wang Xifeng's view, may not only be an offense to her selfishness, but also a disrespect for her personality.
How can this rift in the relationship between husband and wife be repaired? Perhaps, the real solution lies not in superficial compromise or change, but in how the two sides find real common ground through communication. Wang Xifeng's conservatism and Jia Lian's pursuit of innovation and change both hide their needs and expectations for each other. How to find a balance based on respect and trust is a topic that every couple needs to face.
The story of Wang Xifeng and Jia Lian is not just a simple episode of husband and wife life, it reflects the deep character and the relationship between husband and wife in that era. Today, although our environment and attitudes have changed dramatically, mutual understanding and respect between husband and wife are still the cornerstone of building a happy family.