Son preference, this word is not unfamiliar to us, in the thousands of years of history, there is always no shortage of such cases. On Zhihu, seeing a message from a netizen makes people feel extremely sad.
She said that in her junior year, her brother found out that there was a kidney problem, but it was not very serious, and when the doctor just said: Your son has some kidney problems, her mother said: "Is it serious?" Is it life-threatening? He is the hope of our whole family, and nothing can happen. If a transplant is needed, I have a daughter who is healthy and can have a transplant. ”
When her mother said this, she was next to her, and her mother did not ask her opinion at all, and even the doctor was a little blind, saying that she was thin and weak, and her body did not look very good. However, her mother said urgently: "It's okay, doctor, I can take her back to raise her if needed." "This is a benefit given to her daughter by a biological mother in exchange for her son's kidney.
But has the younger brother under the care of his mother really become the hope of the whole family? She said that when his brother was in his 10s, he had enlarged the belly of other girls, and her mother called her to ask for money to pay for the tire. After she worked independently, every time her mother called her, either for her brother to ask for money or to build a house for her brother.
This real story makes people can't help but think of the heroines in several popular dramas in recent years, such as Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy", Fang Xiangjin in "An Jia", Su Mingyu in "All Is Good", these successful women who are vivid and bright in the city, they all come from such a family, and the family has a patriarchal mother and some mediocre brothers.
I. The origin of son preference
The preference for sons over daughters is a concept of inequality between men and women in society, which attaches importance to the rights and interests of men, and treats women as appendages, which greatly restricts their development and personal freedom.
In ancient times, because they were mainly engaged in agriculture, men's innate physical characteristics determined that they were superior to women and could work better in the countryside; and in ancient times, there were more wars, weapons were made of iron, and men once again surpassed women in physical strength.
In addition, the components of the word "male" are a "field" word and a "force" word, field is production, and force is labor, in ancient times men were the most important productive forces. Due to the different physiological division of labor, women greatly reduce the probability and time of participation in men's production work, and reproduction and raising of offspring have become the main work of women.
As a woman in ancient times, being able to give birth to a boy with productivity and return has become a chip for women to change their destiny, so after giving birth to a daughter, many women will sigh that they are not angry at the same time, but also sprinkle this resentment on the girls who are born, and they often pay more attention to whether they are born male or female than men. The history of generation after generation has changed, which has formed a vicious circle that is constantly repeated.
Second, the daughter who is despised
With the progress and development of society, the productivity of men gradually weakens in the production activities of society, and labor is not the only way to obtain a source of livelihood. As opportunities for education increased, women have gone out of the family, participated in the contribution of social work, and gradually showed their prominence, and many women even began to lead men's work.
However, even in today's society, there are still many regions where the concept of son preference is still relatively serious. In recent years, a popular word called "brother support demon", that is, the daughter who grew up in a family with the concept of son preference, will support her brother at any cost, generally such daughters are smart and clever from an early age, outstanding in learning, dare to work hard after entering the society, bear hardships and stand hard work, and excel in their own work fields.
So, since you have already mixed up and changed the fate that was originally despised by your family, why do you still have to send your hard-earned wealth back to your family to help those brothers who are far inferior to you?
As the saying goes: a loving mother is a loser. In a patriarchal family, there will inevitably be a mother who cares for her son in every way, in order to traditionally "raise children and prevent old age", she will blindly please her son, dote on her son, in order to wait until the day when she is old in the future to count on her son's filial piety, she will use the best resources in the family on her son.
In the TV series "An Jia", Fang Zhijin's mother said to her son: "The money of the old Fang family is all yours, and Fang Xiangjin's money is no exception." ”
The reason why she will become a "brother-in-law demon" is only because she longs to be envious of outsiders, her parents have a good daughter who is filial and capable, and her brother has a good sister who is difficult to find in the world. Behind this brilliance, there is a wish that I can't say clearly.
In fact, she wanted her parents to know that you were ignored because I was a girl, and it was the stupidest mistake you made. This son whom you place your hopes on is the least fruitful! At the same time, she is also sending a signal to the men in the family: even if you are a man, what can you do? You are still inferior to mine, and this family still has to count on me.
Who says women are inferior to men
In this world, there are only two genders, male and female, which is the irreversible law of nature. If you despise women, you may not be able to achieve men, but on the contrary, you will let the men in the family become cowardly and irresponsible people under the protection of strong women. Only when men and women are on each side of the sky and the balance of yin and yang can the world be stable.
And who says women are inferior to men? Women in the history of our country indeed occupy a pivotal half of the sky, and there are countless outstanding women who have been famous throughout the ages and are respected by future generations.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="22" >1</h1>
During the reign of Emperor Wen of Han, someone wrote a complaint against Chun Yuyi, and the emperor escorted him to Chang'an.
Chun Yuyi had five daughters, all of whom wept after him. Chun Yuyi was angry and scolded: "Giving birth to a daughter does not give birth to a boy, there is an emergency, there is no one who can use!" At this time, the youngest daughter Ti Qian felt sad about her father's words and followed her father to the west.
Regardless of her own safety, she wrote to the emperor: "My father is an official, and the people of Qidi praised him for his honesty and justice, and now he has broken the law and is sentenced to corporal punishment." I deeply mourn that those who are executed cannot be resurrected, those who have been tortured by corporal punishment cannot be connected, and even if they want to be rehabilitated, not many people can walk this path, and they cannot do it after all. I am willing to surrender myself as a slave of the government to atone for my father's corporal punishment, so that he can change his character and become a man again.
Because of Ti Qian's righteous and blunt words, not only was his father exempted from corporal punishment, but Emperor Wendi of Han was also touched by her filial piety and agreed that prisoners would no longer have to suffer from stabbing, cutting their noses, and severed arms, and Ti Hao's story was thus passed down from generation to generation, and she was not afraid of hardship to avenge her father's injustice, which was a model of filial piety.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="29" >2, Mulan served in the army for her father</h1>
Mulan lived in the early Northern Wei Dynasty, due to the long-term invasion of the border by Rouran in the north, the Northern Wei government decided to send troops to resist, requiring each household to send a male ding to the battlefield, Hua Mulan's father was also on the roster, but Hua Mulan's father was already old, and his brother was still young, in order to let her father enjoy his old age in peace, she decided to go on a campaign instead of her father.
Dressed in men's clothes, Hua Mulan resolutely rushed to the border pass and began her military career, because she learned martial arts archery under the guidance of her father since she was a child, and she also liked to study the art of war, so in the battles with the Rouran people, she repeatedly won and made outstanding battle achievements. After a decade-long war, the Rouran people were finally driven out.
When the army of the Great Victory returned to the capital, the marshal recommended Mulan to Emperor Taiwu, who saw that she was young and handsome and liked her very much, so he made a high-ranking official, but she refused, and asked the emperor to let her go home and serve her parents in order to fulfill her filial piety. Emperor Taiwu then pardoned her for the crime of deception and allowed her to return to her hometown.
Back at home, Mulan changed into her daughter's clothes, but even the soldiers who accompanied her day and night did not recognize it, and even said: This is the general's "sister"! When Father Hua told the truth to others, no one did not admire her.
In this way, the story of Mulan serving in the army for her father was passed down as a good story and passed on for hundreds of years. Mulan's filial piety to her father and loyalty to the country are far better than men, and she is really a hero among women and a hero!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="38" >3, a generation of empress Wu Zetian</h1>
In ancient times, there was also one of the most famous women, she was the empress Wu Zetian. From a small talent to a generation of empresses, in the feudal society where the inferiority of men and women was extremely serious at that time, no one could understand her various experiences, and as a weak woman, what kind of struggles and trade-offs she went through in her heart, posterity only knows that she is a legend, she not only won the rights for herself through her own design and planning, but also made a good example for Chinese women who have been suppressed for thousands of years.
She is definitely not a flower shelf who only relies on fox charm to ascend to the throne, but she is a courageous and resourceful politician. After she ascended the throne, she attached great importance to the development of agriculture, reduced the harsh taxes and miscellaneous taxes, and made the lives of the common people better; in addition, she also boldly hired talents to continue the prosperous tang dynasty after the rule of Zhenguan. She understood strategy and had vision, which made the Tang Dynasty at that time unprecedented.
Although people praised and depreciated her deeds in her lifetime, she laid a wordless monument for herself to be commented on by future generations. No matter what the world says about her, she is definitely an unprecedented strange woman, and she also wants men in the world to know: don't underestimate women.
Digression:
Throughout the ages, in various industries, excellent women have emerged in an endless stream, not inferior to men.
However, modern women are lucky and happy. They can be financially independent and free to choose their marriage without being bound by men.
Ideologically, most young women are also completely liberated, and through the continuous acquisition of psychological knowledge, they can greatly identify with their gender and identity.
After becoming a mother, you can love your children alone, whether you give birth to a boy or a girl, you will no longer become a tool for "raising children and preventing aging", but the continuation of love and the crystallization of happiness.