Hello everyone, my name is Ma Fenglan and I am 70 years old this year. I am an ordinary old lady who has never been far away in my life, and I have not seen anything in the world.
Until one day, I suddenly decided to turn my life upside down! I want to get out of the house while my body is still tough and see this bustling world.
This trip around the world, I have been there for 16 years. As I walk through the streets of different countries, I often say to myself, "Well, how nice it would be if I were a few dozen years younger!" "I vaguely feel a little regretful, but when I think about it, I can still go out and walk at the age of 70, which can be regarded as a great enjoyment in life.
My three children have not supported me to travel alone and feel too dangerous. But I have been a cheerful and adventurous person since I was a child, and I still insisted on setting out alone.
16 years of travel have allowed me to see so many different people and things. I understand that the world is so complex that it is impossible to see it from a single perspective.
I want to communicate well with my children and restore family relationships.
Travel has opened my eyes and allowed me to find my passion in life, but blood is thicker than water, and my family is the most important thing in my heart.
My old bones, as long as I have a small house to live in. I believe that love will bring us back together.
After returning to China, I first went to visit my brother's family. Although my brother looked bad, he still let me into the house.
I tentatively said to my brother: "Brother, I'm back, you've worked hard all these years, I was wrong." The brother made a cold face and said, "Just be happy yourself, don't worry about us."
The next day, I went to visit my sister's family. My sister was much gentler, let me sit in the house, and made me tea.
My sister sighed and said, "Forget it, when I didn't say it, you also suffered, being alone for so many years." "I know that my sister may have forgiven me, and my eyes can't help but turn a little red.
However, when I went to my brother's house, I was greeted by the coldest scene. My brother scolded me directly and threw me out of the house.
It took a long time before I wiped away my tears, struggled to get up, and left.
Back in my humble little house, I had mixed feelings. At this moment, I suddenly woke up, it turned out that in their hearts, I was still the willful mother who did not listen to advice.
In the days that followed, I often went to help my brother and sister with housework, hoping to make myself a little filial to them.
I also often go to my brother's door to help watch the house, hoping to resolve his resentment.
I don't want to travel the world anymore, I just want to spend my old age in the hearth. I finally realized that my reckless move to leave home had caused the children too much pain, and I owed them a home.
Even if they refuse to forgive me, I will protect them with this heart, forever.
Day by day, my relationship with my brother finally has a grandson hard, you are sad sister also began to come to my small house to sit, she will bring me her own delicious food, we recalled the childhood fragments together, she said: "Mom, although I was also angry with you at the time, but over the years I have understood that it is not easy for you to work hard outside alone."
However, the gap between my brother and I has not narrowed in the slightest. When I go to his door, I can only help him sweep the yard from a distance, and he never goes out of the house to say a word to me.
Every time I think of this, my heart aches as if it has been cut open by a sharp blade.
My heart ached, and I held his hand and cried, "Son, mom is sorry for you, it's mom's fault." You have to hold on, we still have a lot to say.
Later, the younger brother was in critical condition and was pushed into the operating room. I waited all night outside the door of the operating room.
Since then, I have been living as an escort in the hospital, guarding my brother's bed day and night. I patiently fed him, wiped his body, and chatted with him, afraid that he would be lonely alone.
When he could get out of bed and walk, I hugged him for a long time with excitement. I knew that the gap between me and my children had finally come to naught.
Time passed day by day, and in the blink of an eye, it was the Spring Festival. This year's Spring Festival, I rarely have a family gathering together, and everyone sits around the table for a reunion dinner.
My brother's family has recently welcomed a new life. The little nephew and grandson are well-behaved and cute, which makes everyone tease. My brother looked at me and said with rare warmth: "Mom, you have worked hard, let's play with Xiao Susu more in the future."
Little Susu grabbed my fingers, and I couldn't close my mouth with a smile.
My sister also came, and the food she carefully prepared made the table extra hearty. She also specially helped me with some New Year goods and told me to take good care of myself.
What makes me happiest is that my brother's body has basically recovered and he can live normally. He looked energetic and just like before.
I hugged him excitedly, my eyes were hot, and I only felt that I had no regrets in this life.
In the evening, after the children came home, I sat alone in the yard watching the stars sky. I think of all the bittersweet and bitter things in life, and I think of the children and me.
It turns out that in this world, love is the greatest power, which can transcend time and space distances, melt all barriers, and bring people's hearts close to people's hearts.
The next morning, I woke up early to make a hearty New Year's Day breakfast for my family. I dug out baskets of eggs, pork, and vegetables and wanted to cook them a few home-cooked dishes.
My hands and feet began to go limp, and my brain was in chaos. This feels all too familiar to me, I may have had another stroke!.
I panicked and tried to find my phone to contact the children, but my fingers were numb and I couldn't grasp anything. I watched myself fall to the ground, but I lost the ability to resist.
With their support, I barely sat down in my chair, and my consciousness gradually cleared. My uncle had already called the children for me, and everyone was nervously guarding my side.
Fortunately, the attack was not serious and recovered quickly. I sincerely thank my uncles and aunts for their help, and I can't imagine what would have happened if it weren't for their timely help.
This turmoil reminded me that I am already a 70-year-old lady, and my physical condition is up and down, and I can no longer fight as hard as before.
I knew they were well-intentioned, so I gladly accepted the arrangement.
So I moved in with my brother's family. Every morning, I can eat a hot breakfast made by my sister-in-law, and then go out with Xiao Susu to exercise in the morning and breathe fresh air.
Although the days are simple, they are full of happiness. I feel the love of my family for me all the time.
Occasionally, my sister and brother would come to see me. Once, my younger brother joked: "Mom, you can rest assured to retire at your brother's house, save us from tossing us."
Now we can really joke, no longer the embarrassment and indifference of the past. I feel that life is complete.
In the blink of an eye, I have been living at my brother's house for more than two years. In the past two years, my physical condition has been up and down, and the children have been busy serving me, and I see it in my eyes and feel grateful in my heart.
Just a few days ago, granddaughter Su Su came to the house as a guest, and she has grown into a beautiful and lively girl.
I smiled and nodded, deciding to tell her interesting stories about my childhood. I described how a group of our children frolicked by the river as children, catching tadpoles and crabs.
Su Su listened very happily and kept asking for details. I was also immersed in the carefree childhood memories, as if I had returned to the suburban village of that time.
As I spoke, I suddenly felt a little out of breath. Su Su looked at me with concern and said, "Grandma, you should rest first, don't worry, I like to listen to you talk about these past stories."
That night, my brother and sister-in-law discussed hiring a caregiver to take care of me and take care of the household. I know that I have caused them a lot of trouble in recent years, which is inevitable.
The next day, the new caregiver, Ah Xiang, came to work. She is a thin, kind-looking middle-aged woman.
This also makes me less worried, and I don't have to worry about causing trouble to my brother's family from time to time.
With Ah Xiang's careful care, my life still maintains the same routine as before, and everything has not changed much.
Because the love of family members will make life complete.
In the blink of an eye, I was 80 years old. Over the years, my physical condition has been up and down, and the children and Ah Xiang have taken good care of me, keeping my life calm and joyful.
A few days ago, my granddaughter Su Su came back from the United States to see me, and she is already an accomplished professional woman. She brought me stories of what she had seen overseas, as well as gifts from overseas Chinese classmates.
On the day Su Su left, he said goodbye to me reluctantly, saying that he would come back to see me often. I watched her leave, and suddenly I felt a sense of desolation about saying something else.
Now that the children have their own families, it is time for me to learn to be alone and enjoy the last spring and autumn.
Actually, I don't feel lonely. Ah Xiang is still by my side, and I have also learned to pass the time by reading books and keeping a diary.
Occasionally my grandchildren would come to see me, and we would relive the family past, and we would have a good time.
Just the other day, sadness happened. My brother experienced a short illness and passed away.
Before leaving, he told me to live well, but now he left before me, and my heart was like a knife.
But I know that birth, old age, illness and death are the only way to go. I want to live, watch Su Su and other grandchildren grow up, and fulfill my brother's unfulfilled wishes.
My brother will want me to live the rest of my life happily, and I will definitely live up to his expectations.
Life is like a book, and I've turned most of it. The ending may not be satisfactory, but I will at least try to write this last page without regrets.
Time flies, and in the blink of an eye, I am 90 years old. Over the years, my health has deteriorated and my mobility has become more and more difficult, so I can only lie in bed all day and be taken care of by Ah Xiang.
Because, I have always had my family and Ah Xiang by my side.
Yesterday, Su Su rushed back from the United States to see me, already a professional woman with a successful career. She held my withered hand, tears in her eyes, and whispered to me: "Grandma, I'm back to see you."
Su Su softly told me about her experience over the years, as well as her work and life abroad. I listened quietly, and I was very pleased that our Susu had grown up and could already be on his own.
I understood her mood and gently stroked her hand, wanting to comfort her. In fact, I am ready to face this moment, I have lived for 90 years, I have gone through all stages of life, and now, it is time for me to reach the end.
The children also came to the hospital bed, holding my hand and reluctant to let go. I looked at each of them calmly, my eyes wanting to remember the faces of each of them.
Suddenly, I saw a familiar figure - it was Sun Zijie. He is my first grandson and now has a stable job in the city.
Everyone gave way and let Jay walk up to me.
He held my hand, his lips pursed, and said, "Grandma, you have worked hard in your life, I will take good care of my parents, and I will often come here to visit them."
I looked at Jiejie, who was full of black hair, and the concern in my heart suddenly let go. I know, I can let go.
I struggled to squeeze a satisfied smile and nodded slightly. Then I slowly closed my eyes and started the last journey of my life.
I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in a white world. There is no sense of orientation and no landmarks in sight, only endless white.
At this time, I saw a familiar figure walking towards me, smiled and embraced me with open arms. This warm smiling face is none other than my long-deceased husband Ma Jin! I excitedly shouted, "Lao Ma, is that you?" I miss you so much! "We hugged each other tightly, reluctant to separate for a long time.
After a while, another figure joined us, it turned out to be my old brother! He was just as I remembered, smiling.
Then I saw my parents coming with smiling faces, young and bright, just as I remember from childhood.
Suddenly, I vaguely heard a cry from the world, as well as a deep memorial message, which seemed to come from above.
"Mom, don't worry." I heard Jay's voice coming out of the light.
"Grandma, go all the way." Su Su was also crying.
My heart was tugged at for a moment, but when I thought about it, the limit had come, life and death were at stake, and it was time for me to let go. I believe that the children will live well, and the love of the family will protect them.
"Goodbye, my children, goodbye, my beloved." I whispered in my heart, my gaze slowly leaving the sky and falling back to the faces of my relatives in front of me.
I took a deep breath, took my husband and brother by the hands, and walked into the warm light. I am ready to embark on a new journey in our afterlife, and I know what scenery and beauty await us ahead.